advice needed

worrieddadandpartner

I'm a reguarly user of mse but I have changed my id for this


Basically yesterday me and the missus had a argument over money(Weve been having these alot lately )lots of shouting and throwing stuff round the room from her and so i decded to walk out to avoid the argument she has a mental illness
I came back later hoping she had calmed down and she wasn't there .So I waited for her to come back and she didnt then at midnight last night the Police are banging my door very loudly (at this stage I thought something had happened to her ) telling me they are arresting me on account of me assaulting my partner so I then get carted of to the Police station and spend most of the night in there after interviewing me they decided to release me without charge on the basis that it's my word against hers and my injurys (I gained these from her throwing stuff) dont colaborate with her side of the story I was then released taken home

NOw here's where I need the advice at the moment I am staying in the flat we rent and Im not sure where shes gone (shes not at her folks as they came round to see where she is
the flat is in her name so she could decide at any moment she wants me out also we currently get benefits and they are in her name
so if she decides to cancel the money Im also out as the council will stop paying for the flat


I really love her and would never do anything to harm her so ive no idea why she reported me to the police

we also have a child that is curreltly living with her folks as shes been ill
the poilice told her parents what had happened so I doubt they are gonna let me see my son (we dont get on)

I want to make things up with her as i feel the 7 years weve been together is too much to just throw away


can anyone give me some advice of what to do

romylou_2

This must be very difficult for you.

A Few things firstly:

What is the nature of her "illness"?
Has she done anything like this before?

Her parents cannot stop you from seeing your son!

Are you and her married?

Does she have a mobile phone because you urgently need to speak to her and find out where her head is at!

Talking with each other is paramount, keep the lines of communication between the two of youopen to try and resolve this.

worrieddadandpartner

romylou wrote: »

This must be very difficult for you.

A Few things firstly:

What is the nature of her "illness"?
Has she done anything like this before?

Her parents cannot stop you from seeing your son!

Are you and her married?

Does she have a mobile phone because you urgently need to speak to her and find out where her head is at!

Talking with each other is paramount, keep the lines of communication between the two of youopen to try and resolve this.

She doesent have a phone and neiher do i

Were not married
She has schizophrenia

she thrown things round the room before etc but never called the police

I want to keep the communication open but as know one will tell me where she is thats Quite difficuly

i spoke with her psychiatric nurse ealrlier on and she said she would ask if she want ed to see me and act as mediator
but she wouldnt be able to force her too

what im worried about too is her folks dont like me so they will try anything to stop her from seeing me

we split up once before and they left me homeless and then she said she wanted me back and we get a new place togetha (the place were in now) yet they went behind my back and lied to me about her having it it was only when a freind let it slip that she told me the truth

Fang_3

Why are you not caring for your child?

Kimberley82

Why cant you be the main carer of the child if she isn't up to it?

While I am sure you love your partner very much its the child you should be looking out for most. Get a place then fight for you child and give them a nice stable home, then work on your relationship.

MrsRogers

Have her parents been able to find her / speak to her since the argument? Is she still missing?

Finding her needs to be a priority if she is still missing... Have you tried friends? Did she take anything with her.. clothes, meds etc?

worrieddadandpartner

MrsRogers wrote: »

Have her parents been able to find her / speak to her since the argument? Is she still missing?

Finding her needs to be a priority if she is still missing... Have you tried friends? Did she take anything with her.. clothes, meds etc?

her parents wont speak to me except to give me abuse she took nothing with her she still missing

Kimberley82

worrieddadandpartner wrote: »

her parents wont speak to me except to give me abuse she took nothing with her she still missing

Have you thought about calling the police and reporting her missing?

pigpen

worrieddadandpartner wrote: »

I want to keep the communication open but as know one will tell me where she is thats Quite difficuly

i spoke with her psychiatric nurse ealrlier on and she said she would ask if she want ed to see me and act as mediator
but she wouldnt be able to force her too

is she actually missing or just you do not know where she is because these statements quoted indicate other people know her whereabouts but won't tell you??

If she is too unwell to look after your son and noone knows where she is I think you need to report it as she could have injure herself or worse!! Someone needs to know where she is and that she is safe.

I have a cousin with schitzophrenia and she has done herself some awful injuries while unwell.

Beyond that i think you have a duty to your son to find somewhere safe for yourself so he can live with you. You and your partner can still have a relationship but under the current circumstances it is probably best for you to have somewhere safe to retreat to when she is abusive.

Make-it-3

I suspect she is with her parents or they know where she is, or they would be worried sick too. If you genuine believe she has gone off on her own then please call the police for help. Does she take medication, has she stopped taking it recently? She could be in danger to herself or others. Get this sorted first, once you know her whereabouts and condition you can then establish whether she needs psychiatric help or you both need relationship counselling.

Proc

It's funny.

I've seen so many threads with people complaining about the "chavs next door". You know, the ones who are always screaming, fighting, having police over, don't have jobs etc.

With all due respect, you are the chavs next door.

Get a job, move out of the flat, become a father of your child and leave your missus.