I've just found out I'm pregnant....

vroombroom

Evening everyone

I am a long time poster on MSE but have changed names for the time being - my friends and family know my 'normal' identity.

So I have been to the doctor and he thinks I am about 6 weeks pregnant. To say I am shocked is an understatement - I am on the pill and my OH and I have been using protection.
I missed a period last week and have been very ill since about Wednesday (morning sickness?)

I'm stunned and am not sure what to do. I havent even told my OH as he's away on holiday and I am not sure how he will react. I have to wait another week and a half. We've only been seeing each other around 4 months, so I guess he is going to go nuts.

In the 3 hours I have had thinking, it has never crossed my mind to have a termination. More along the lines of how I will cope if he doesnt support me?My family are around me, I rent my home and I have a secure job.

Sorry for posting this but I am not sure else who to 'speak' to. I have read a similar story on here recently, but just wanted some advice I guess.

I'll be back in a few mins, the toilet is calling for a hug....

Plans_all_plans

My morning sickness was terrible too. I was spewing up constantly, on my way to work even Mine got better after the 3rd month, so hopefully yours wont carry on throughout the pregnancy!

Our daughter was also accidentally conceived (5 months into our student relationship) and it is a lot to take in, so I can sympathise.

On a practical note, you can read through here about benefits etc that you may be entitled to: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/index.htm

Also, you can contact the charity LIFE http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/ who can offer advice and practical support to women in your situation.

Good luck, it is a terrifying time but you can get through it! If there's a will, there's a way!

tobyjug

It is a very stressful time to have an unplanned pregnancy, it is emotional when you have a planned one. I think you are right not to tell everyone until you have got over the initial shock and started to go through things in your mind. work out what you want, you won't know properly until you have told him ,how he will react and his reaction alone will also help you plan for your future.

I hope you have a good friend who you might be able to discuss things over with. That may help.

Just because you have only been with him for a few months doesn't mean it won't work out for you....

gratefulforhelp_2

Congratulations, voombroom. It will all come good I am sure. Try ginger biscuits?

purplepardalis

Congratulations!! I am 27 weeks along with a surprise bump. Don't worry, it won't take long to get used to the idea. And if everyone waited until the right time to have children the population would've died out a long time ago! X
Join your Birth Board on Babycentre.co.uk and chat with other women who are at the same stage as you.

Money_maker

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Congratulations, voombroom. It will all come good I am sure. Try ginger biscuits?

Exactly what I was going to say

I think you just need to sit down and get over the shock. And I expect you are frightened too, well thats how I felt and mine were all planned.

If you consider the worst case scenario, perhaps you can consider the obstacles and how you can overcome them. Family around you can be very helpful as its much more difficult to cope alone. Give your OH his dues - it may be a shock to him but he may surprise you, after all it takes two to create a life.

You really sound quite postive about this and I reckon you'll make a great Mum whatever happens.

Good Luck and Congratulations again x

VK-2008

docs recommend if bad sickness when you wake up have something next to you in bed like wee biscuit - eat it and then wait 20 mins before getting up, it helps settle the stomach.
hugs to you

you have plenty options have baby, termination, adoption etc but give yourself time to think
it may surprise you oh initiially but he may surprise you and be really acceptive of this
men can surprise us
there are plenty people raise a baby as a couple and plenty do it alone just remember its not the worse thing in the world
its bound to affect you just now espesh if you are not feeling 100%
why not try talking it through with a parent?

you have us here if you want a chat or a blubber!!!

Violetta_2

My dd was born 11 months after I met her dad:eek: she is now 5 & we have been married a year:o. I never imagined I'd have children & it's the best thing I've ever done. Some thing's are meant to be. Having said that you do have options.
I was terrified my oh would think I'd trapped him or something & I told him he could leave if he wanted I'd understand. He was brill & looked after me so well when I was pregnant, I know a lot of other people would have run a mile. ( I was seriously ill) He is a brilliant father & I know how lucky I am.
Speak to your partner, make sure whatever you do is what you really want, not what others think you should or shouldn't do.
Oh & if the sickness is bad try bounty bar's, won't stop the sickness but don't taste too horrific when they return.
Worth trying peppermint tea. Good luck honey whatever you do.

purplepardalis

Porridge for breakfast. It really helped me in the early days when the nausea lasted until about 8pm !

property.advert

Don't rule anything out, including a termination. Also, don't give the father any ultimatums. You both need to sit down and discuss this calmly and the sooner the better as all options should be on the table.

He may really not want a part of it but may come around before any final decision has to be made. But you cannot guarantee that and if backed into a corner, he will not be happy I assure you, having been there myself.

You both need time to overcome the shock. Only then can you make a clear decision. The change to your future, housing, cars, education, costs etc. should not necessarily be the main considerations but you do need to think about them together and how you would give a child what it deserves if you were not supported by the father.

Make-it-3

At least you have a few days to come to terms with it yourself and think about what YOU want to do. Then when OH is back sit down and talk to him. It will be a shock for him too, so give him time to get used to it before you make a decision. That may be jointly or if you can't agree then the final decision is yours to make.

You are still very early on, so have a little time if you do decide to terminate. In the meantime, sometimes it helps if you have a light snack by your bedside to nibble on slow in the morning and then get up slowly. Think crackers, biscuits or plain toast and during the day eating similar snacks when you feel nauseous can help too.