What to do

McCuddly

eleanor73 wrote: »

Sorry lost internet connection last night. Sounds like by looking at the above post you've got a good idea to go forward with. I think even if he doesn't want it handed over to him you could start up a new account and put spare pennies in it and call it both of yours for your future or a fab holiday when you graduate.

Ooooh sounds like a plan!

Is there anywhere nicer you could move to - a shared room in a house or a lodger for someone? Somewhere still cheap but a bit quieter? Where you are doesn't sound condusive to coping.

I'm looking, I just wanted the student experience seems like I'm not quite ready for it

Lara44 wrote: »

Don't worry McCuddly, it's really natural to be homesick, I hated uni halls for the first few weeks. It's important to give it a couple of weeks to see how people settle down and you settle in. If it still hasn't changed and you don't feel good there, then definitely give commuting some thought. Have you bought some nice things for your room that might make you feel more at home - this really helps me to settle in somewhere. Have you got music you like, and films to watch in your spare time if you feel lonely? Are there any clubs and societies that you could join that might help you meet new friends to hang out with in the evening? Have you got a webcam to skype your partner so that you can see each other as well as talk?

Yes, I have skype and a webcam and we do talk, but just being able cuddle upto him and get warm, like we have a storm at the minute, I love getting a douvet and snuggling.

As for my room, I've made it as homely as I can, My partner on Saturday decorated my room as much as he was allowed but it still has that prison cell feeling.

I met a girl in the other room earlier and we talked as we have alot in common and she is home sick aswell. So at least I'm not alone

If you don't like it check what the policy is on leaving - in our halls if you found a replacement person for the room you could leave without paying any extra bills. During my time at uni I also used the student counsellors. You have been through an extremely awful experience and I am sure it has knocked your confidence and made it difficult to trust people. I think your worries about what your OH thinks of you might be related. Counselling might help you to explore your feelings a bit more - at uni it is usually completely free and quick to access. If you don't feel like talking they might also be able to help you with relaxation techniques such as hypnotherapy. Stay in touch with all of us here too

Ive been concelling and theyve tried to force me to do stuff I don't want. I had a look on my agreement and I'm liable either way

Make-it-3 wrote: »

You've just arrived at uni, a new place on your own (albeit halls with thousands of other students) is bound to be a bit scary, intimidating and lonely for any student, let alone someone who's had the experience you've had. Please try and give it a few weeks to settle in.

I was crying on the phone to my partner when he was working and he said exactly the same, but he turned up and sat with me for a bit and just cuddled me. We even spoke about the money and he said I owed him nothing "well maybe a few cuddles". He left me his work fleace and im wrapped up in it.

Only you know your relationship, do you think he revels in the dependence and need you have for him and you think this is unhealthy?

How do you mean? He makes me go shopping with my friends and go out at night, He must hate me as I make him pick me up

whilst agreeing exactly when you will see each other (eg spending alternate weekends in each city for example).

I really dont want him to spend a night here its horrible. He did come up today and I was quite embarrassed, it isn't really pleasant. If he did stay over and they did what they did last night he'd go mad and do something stupid to them

Thank you everyone for your comments. Do you think I'm being silly?

McCuddly

I've been thinking aswell, Back home we have sky, Am I allowed to watch this via skyplayer without a TV license or would I need one?

supersavershal

What course are you studying?

McCuddly

supersavershal wrote: »

What course are you studying?

Sociology.

RedBern

Hi, sorry to hear you're having a rough time - but I don't think you're alone in your feelings of homesickness, loneliness and fear amongst a lot of the students you're around - and that's besides your past experiences affecting how you feel.

You've made a brave decision to continue your studies. If I were your mum (which believe me you should be glad I'm not!;)) I'd be advising you to sit tight and give it until Christmas before making any decisions about leaving/relocating. Don't let your past interfere with your future - you're stronger than that. Make a life for yourself in uni, dip your toes into something like the netball team or hockey practice, just to make a few friends. Stay safe - but don't be frightened of trying to enjoy yourself.

Your boyfriend sounds like one to keep - he's supporting you in every way he can, so allow him to continue that. As another poster has said, if you're able to put money aside, then do so. Then, if circumstances change, you'd be able to say, 'here's half of what I owe you, you'll get the rest as soon as I can manage' or 'here's the honeymoon fund, you put up the rest'!!:)

Good luck

McCuddly

RedBern wrote: »

Hi, sorry to hear you're having a rough time - but I don't think you're alone in your feelings of homesickness, loneliness and fear amongst a lot of the students you're around - and that's besides your past experiences affecting how you feel.

I actually want to go home today!! They left a package outside my room for me and it was stolen Can't stand it my partners said to stick it out to the weekend when he'll come up and see whats what and he said he would sort it.

You've made a brave decision to continue your studies. If I were your mum (which believe me you should be glad I'm not!;)) I'd be advising you to sit tight and give it until Christmas before making any decisions about leaving/relocating. Don't let your past interfere with your future - you're stronger than that. Make a life for yourself in uni, dip your toes into something like the netball team or hockey practice, just to make a few friends. Stay safe - but don't be frightened of trying to enjoy yourself.

I'm not very sporty, I might see if theres a book club or something. My partners telling me to go on the nights out and to "mingle" as he says

Your boyfriend sounds like one to keep - he's supporting you in every way he can, so allow him to continue that. As another poster has said, if you're able to put money aside, then do so. Then, if circumstances change, you'd be able to say, 'here's half of what I owe you, you'll get the rest as soon as I can manage' or 'here's the honeymoon fund, you put up the rest'!!:)

Good luck

I'm tempted to ask him to marry me. Scared of the answer!

mintymoneysaver

Sorry to be nosey, but can I ask how old you are? Are you much older than the other students? And also being nosey, which halls are you in? ( I'm in Liverpool)

McCuddly

Im 21 and I'm near Liverpool Lime Street

Lara44

Book club sounds great :T

Not sure which uni in Liverpool you are at but here's the online listings for Liverpool Uni? and John Moores?. Not sure it all gets a bit confusing!! Also these give it a go events look really good.

It is really hard just to go out to the SU and 'mingle' not surprised you don't find that too appealing! What about some volunteering?

Shame about the parcel

McCuddly

Lara44 wrote: »

Book club sounds great :T

Not sure which uni in Liverpool you are at but here's the online listings for Liverpool Uni? and John Moores?. Not sure it all gets a bit confusing!! Also these give it a go events look really good.

It is really hard just to go out to the SU and 'mingle' not surprised you don't find that too appealing! What about some volunteering?

Shame about the parcel

I'm really peeved about the parcel! It was stuff my partner ordered for me and had it delivered to my halls.

I went with Sarah to a wine bar today and had a few drinks. I got back and my partner was there and cooked for me and took me shopping so we talked ALOT. He said if I wanted he'd come up every other weekend and I could go down every alternating weekend.

I feel a bit better today, Still want to go home.

I'm seriously considering the whole marriage thing. How would you propose in my situation?