Should I be giving my ex, the father of my kids money?

mumof1and1ontheway

Thanks after sleeping on it I have decided not to allow him to apply for Child Benefit. He tells the Job Centre that he has 50% custody of the kids.. which is why he is being told to apply for different things like Income Support.. to then be told he is not entitled.
I do understand it must be a struggle on Job Seekers, to then pay all the bills and then pay out more for his eldest 3 days and nights a week. But I genuinly do offer to send everything he could need plus £10-£20 if he needs it. And he declines most of the time. I am sure he declines out of not wanting to feel like he has to take money from the ex.. but I cannot help him in any other way iygwim.
I am still to decide when he will start having my youngest and for how long. As he is desperate to bond with him and have time alone with him, but I def cant allow him 3 nights a week so early on lol. I wouldnt know what to do with myself with free time for a start lol

JoJoB

If he applies for child ben and gets it you will lose it! Only one parent is allowed child benefit and that is the primary carer - he would have to state he is the primary carer to get it. They would not allocate 50% to each of you. If he is seen as primary carer he would then be able to access other associated benefits such as IS whereas you would not.

The Job Centre have given him very misleading advice indeed.

ticklepenny_2

To OP,
If your ex had the CB (£80) for DS claimed in his name would that mean that you would be entitled to CB (£80) for baby? I always get confused with entitlements. It may be worth having a chat with CAB just to check.

HTH
x

Oldernotwiser

Sorry to be cynical but it sounds to me as if he's just trying to get off JSA and on to IS. I wouldn't encourage him in this - for anyone's sake.

monty-doggy

you know what the law is awful when it comes to dads.
My partner and i have his 3 kids 4 nights a week including weekends. we get no child benefit or rent or any sort of benefit at all. Their mum does not work. she gets child benefit for 3 kids, her mortgage paid by housing benefit, income support AND by law we have to give her £44 a week child maintanance. Err hello??? how is this fair?

galvanizersbaby

lauren_1 wrote: »

If you give him half then you will not have enough to live on, its as simple as that. Dont give him any cash, just supplies.

However if you are good terms with their dad and he is having your son nearly 50% of the time then maybe you could you could sign the CB over to him so you each get CB for 1 child each, that will entitle him to claim his own income support/ ctc/ hb etc etc and you wouldn't be out of pocket so much.

If it is just 3 night and not 3 straight days I wouldnt sign anything over however he will get a very reduced child maintainance rate.

Yes I think I would agree with this - 3 nights and 3 days is almost 50% of the time so this sounds sensible in theory since I guess at present he isn't recieving any financial help to cover the cost of caring for his son.
I did know of a couple that were divorced with 2 sons and the mother claimed for one and the father for the other - then they respectively claimed tax credits.
However OP I am not sure whether if CB is claimed by the father this might affect some of your benefits.

galvanizersbaby

monty-doggy wrote: »

you know what the law is awful when it comes to dads.
My partner and i have his 3 kids 4 nights a week including weekends. we get no child benefit or rent or any sort of benefit at all. Their mum does not work. she gets child benefit for 3 kids, her mortgage paid by housing benefit, income support AND by law we have to give her £44 a week child maintanance. Err hello??? how is this fair?

In that case on the face of it because the children spend the majority of their time in your household your partner would be entitled to claim child benefit as the resident parent and not their mother.

galvanizersbaby

JoJoB wrote: »

If he applies for child ben and gets it you will lose it! Only one parent is allowed child benefit and that is the primary carer - he would have to state he is the primary carer to get it. They would not allocate 50% to each of you. If he is seen as primary carer he would then be able to access other associated benefits such as IS whereas you would not.

The Job Centre have given him very misleading advice indeed.

I did wonder about this.
Since OP is currently claiming child benefit for 2 children assumably if the father claimed CB for one of the children would OP still be entitled to claim CB and IS for the remaining child?

pinkpig08

If you did sign the CB over to him (which I actually don't think you should) would he get the higher rate for the first child and you the lesser rate for the second?