Should I be giving my ex, the father of my kids money?

janninew

Does your ex have him 3 nights every week and 3 full days as well? If so that's nearly half the time spent at Dad's so I'm of the opinion that he should be getting half (or something similar) of the CB. Maybe he feels 'less of a man' taking money directly of you (if you know what I mean?!)

That of course is a black and white view of the situation!

I do think men can sometimes get a rough deal. My brother has a little girl (seperated from Mum) and he has her every weekend and 1 night in the week (4 nights in total, every week without fail) yet she still gets the CB, IS, CTC etc. My Brother does work and pays her money every month, not sure if what she is doing is fraud, always seems alittle odd to me as she doesn't have the child as much as my Brother, yet gets all the benefits that are related. He won't do anything as he doesn't want to rock the boat and still has feelings for her.

Sorry to go off topic there!

Good luck OP whatever happens, and congrats on the birth of your new baby!!
x

lauren_1

If you give him half then you will not have enough to live on, its as simple as that. Dont give him any cash, just supplies.

However if you are good terms with their dad and he is having your son nearly 50% of the time then maybe you could you could sign the CB over to him so you each get CB for 1 child each, that will entitle him to claim his own income support/ ctc/ hb etc etc and you wouldn't be out of pocket so much.

If it is just 3 night and not 3 straight days I wouldnt sign anything over however he will get a very reduced child maintainance rate.

mumof1and1ontheway

He has DS 3 days and 3 nights every single week.

mumof1and1ontheway

So its just CB he is entitled to? So £40 a month?

jackieglasgow

Is child benefit for 2 kids not £130 a month? I would not be inclined to give him anything except what your son needs just now, which at two won't be very much. Your £40 sounds fine to me, that's £3 a night to feed him, which is more than I spend on my kids.

mumof1and1ontheway

I get 30 a week for both hunni. I give him 4 of my healthy start vouchers a week which is something like 12.40 too

Soubrette

janninew wrote: »

I do think men can sometimes get a rough deal. My brother has a little girl (seperated from Mum) and he has her every weekend and 1 night in the week (4 nights in total, every week without fail) yet she still gets the CB, IS, CTC etc. My Brother does work and pays her money every month, not sure if what she is doing is fraud, always seems alittle odd to me as she doesn't have the child as much as my Brother, yet gets all the benefits that are related. He won't do anything as he doesn't want to rock the boat and still has feelings for her.
x

If he has his daughter one day in the week then Fri, Sat, Sun then he really should be the PWC. I don't think it's fraud by the mum unless your brother disagrees and tries to change things so he is the PWC and the mum is the NRP.*

Of course the mum then decide to try and restrict access and relations between them would suffer but from what you've said your brother is definitely being taken advantage of.

ETA - sorry to be clear - *if the mum then lies about the amount of time she has her daughter - that lie would be fraudulent.

mumof1and1ontheway

sorry 4 vouchers a month is what i meant.

janninew

Soubrette wrote: »

If he has his daughter one day in the week then Fri, Sat, Sun then he really should be the PWC. I don't think it's fraud by the mum unless your brother disagrees and tries to change things so he is the PWC and the mum is the NRP.*

Of course the mum then decide to try and restrict access and relations between them would suffer but from what you've said your brother is definitely being taken advantage of.

ETA - sorry to be clear - *if the mum then lies about the amount of time she has her daughter - that lie would be fraudulent.

I don't really understand what she has said, I assume she would have to declare that she is the main carer of the child to be entitled to the benefits that she claims? I never say anything as my Brother is very defensive, but I honestly cannot see how its right that she claims what she does, gets her rent paid, her CT and money from my Brother etc, yet she is perfectly capable (and has more than enough time) to get at least a part time job!

I wonder if she is aware that she will lose her entitlement to IS when her little girl reaches 7, she is nearly 6 now!!

Soubrette

janninew wrote: »

I don't really understand what she has said, I assume she would have to declare that she is the main carer of the child to be entitled to the benefits that she claims? I never say anything as my Brother is very defensive, but I honestly cannot see how its right that she claims what she does, gets her rent paid, her CT and money from my Brother etc, yet she is perfectly capable (and has more than enough time) to get at least a part time job!

I wonder if she is aware that she will lose her entitlement to IS when her little girl reaches 7, she is nearly 6 now!!

I don't think she has to declare anything - she may just have applied for the benefits and got them.

She would only need to declare anything if your brother also contacts the child benefit and tries to claim it for himself. Then her true colours will come out - will she lie? This is fraud, or will she be truthful and allow your brother to be the PWC in name as well as in action.

At the moment I don't think she is doing anything wrong unless she has actively lied.

To be honest your brother may even have agreed to the situation although as the NRP he has far less input than he would as the designated PWC even if they have shared care.