Love v Money?

SueC_2

I was just reading through the 'Worst Thing Wasted Money On' thread:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2683347

and noticed how many replies refer to ex-partners.

So I thought I'd do a little poll. If you were in a relationship which was otherwise very happy, but your partner was completely and utterly financially incompetent (to the degree of costing you money), would you continue in the relationship, or knock it (and/or them?) on the head?

pinkshoes

I would call it a day.

Financial compatibility with someone is just as important as every other aspect of the relationship, so if you're not financially compatible, then it just won't work in the long run.

Just look at how many marriages and relationships break down due to debt, and often with one partner worse than the other.

LilacPixie

I married him. OK I wasn't aware of the level of incompetance but now we are married, have kids we need to work it out and he needs to learn that his behaviours in the past we not and are not acceptable.

January20

I used to be in a relationship with somebody who was bad with money. It's not 100% what killed the relationship, but it was a great factor in its demise.

Basically, it was horrible as I ended up having to lie to him if he asked me if I had any money in my own personal account, because if I had any he would make me feel guilty so I would give it to him. He would be relentless. Like a spoilt child. It would then be spent on frivolities rather than essentials.

This is a man who had priorities totally different to mine ie would spend money in the pub with his mates rather than make sure the rent money was available. He would also borrow from his parents, who didn't have very much to start with. I hated it.

NEVER AGAIN!

DansMum_2

My poor old Ma has been with someone for 20 years who is awful with money, so much that he went bankrupt and now they've had to sell their house and she cannot get another mortgage because her associated credit rating is shocking! This is despite earning really good money. He now wants to spend his half of the proceeds on rubbish!

If my OH was as bad as that then it'd be ta-ra chuck.....

bargainbetty

I was asked to co-sign on a loan by an ex because he was so terrible with money he had run up debts he could not afford to service. When I refused, he asked me if I would just lend him the money since I earned more than him.

We had been together two months. Lasted about another three hours, after I pointed out that if the bank saw him as a bad risk, why would I think differently, and we barely knew each other? Apparently I should have 'loved him enough to trust him'.

Don't let the door hit your a** on the way out there, sunshine.

SueC_2

bargainbetty wrote: »

Don't let the door hit your a** on the way out there, sunshine.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

SmartLiving

Hi all,
Really interested to read this thread as I'm working on a magazine piece all about the role money plays in relationships! I'm looking for couples in their 40s/50s to speak to about their own experiences - if you'd be interested, I'd love to hear from you at julia.martinATredwoodgroup.net.

Tropez

It depends to what degree their inability to manage their finances was affecting me and how exactly they had found themselves in such a situation.

If they were perpetually skint despite earning a decent salary simply because they were frivolously frittering their money away then this would be a big problem.

If, however, they were in trouble financially for what I might regard as understandable errors of judgement then I would most likely be more forgiving.

In my current situation, my partner runs her own business that while it started brightly has struggled a little during the recession. She is still very independent and so would never consider taking money off me but were the worst to happen I feel strongly enough about her and sympathise with her situation that I would gladly attempt to relieve any financial burden she may have. Now, she still goes out with friends and spends money on theatre tickets and whatnot and I could understand why an outsider might consider this frittering money away when she is on a fairly tight budget right now but in all honesty I think she needs these activities to keep her stress levels down.

But yeah, it is situational on the whole, I feel.

chelle230

I've been here several times over with my DH.
we have split on numerous occasions due to his spending, he was on excellent money for his job, but was still spending beyond his means, and it was left to me (on a lot less money than him) to sort it out, pay bills, run the house, feed and clothe DS.

the last time we split for 8 months as I'd had more than enough, and was adamant he wasn't coming back until he sorted things out.

think he realised I meant business that time and has really sorted himself out, fingers crossed for good.
he is still not living back at home yet even though we are back together. I need to feel confident he has changed his ways.

ecgirl07

not a case of love v money for me - part of falling in love for me was compatible monetary values, i could not be with someone with reckless debts and spending attitudes.