Buffy's Adventures at the Post Office......

Buffythedebtslayer

I have had a tidy up and feel a bit a better

huge list to be done FLylady style. I really want to get to the fish shop to see a certain person, I said I'd pop in if i could..........

and I have to put up the tree. wrap presents and clean house. but that is dusting down stairs and a little tidying and chucking. my room is bothering me, I have let it get in a mess and that annoys me. plus it is FULL of work and not well organised. I think Monday might be a big clean up and chuck out, with a little bit of painting and varnishing throw in.........I was going to move the DVD holder things but don't honestly think I can find homes for the DVDs. got to move the furniture round first........and then paint desk.

I need to be organised re paper work cos that is the big problem in my room I wonder if once a month would be good. If I picked the first Saturday in the month? once a week I don't get enough post and most of my accounts are online....opinions?

I have also joined two challenges, virtual sealed pot and pay off as much as you can oh and the proper sealed pot one. And quit Farmville!!!

need bed now

see you tomorrow
and Happy Christmas Eve!

macgirl

Happy Christmas Eve to you too Buffy. Hope you have a fun, peaceful and relaxing break

Shoe_Gal

Please don't even think about lists today - ahve some fun

Merry Christmas :xmastree:x

beanielou

What Shoe Gal says from me too xx

Buffythedebtslayer

What a day!

Mum woke me up at 6.11 this morning to tell me the fish tank had leaked. It was about 1/2 empty, so about 12 Gallons all over the carpet, the rug my school books, my work, my bags, my coat.

So I emptied the rest of the tank, rescued the fish, covered the carpet in towels twice(which my Mum spent most of the day washing:o), then newspaper. My wonderful ex came over and took the tank away for me and was fantastic. It was so good to see him. And get a snog:o.

After he left we found out my brother in law had gone to hospital! - he is ok now but it was a dicey afternoon and we found out we didn't have any cream for the Christmas pudding! So whilst Mum went to the hospital I walked to Morrisions (a regular trip on Christmas Eve, last year it was Foil) to buy cream, it was full of people but at least I knew what I wanted so it was over fairly quickly! Although the walk home was scary - so icy still!

and then it was too the loft for the tree which was pretty much a near death experience. I thought it would be emotional but I was so worried about putting my foot through the ceilling, it certainly focussed the mind!

I am pleased with the tree. Many of the decorations have many memories, lovely memories from my childhood.

I have presents to wrap and poor guinea pigs who frankly could run their own compost making business if I don't get my !!!! together tomorrow or rather their !!!! if you see what I mean.

Any how I will be back on tomorrow no doubt, we are going to my sister's for dinner. I am excited about my presents - that I have for my family, I have done stockings too and so on that front I am looking forward to it.

Happy Christmas diary readers

Love Buffy xxx

urg123

Happy Christmas to you too Buffy - hope the gift receivers love the gifts as much as you have had joy in choosing them.

Wahay on the snog too (typed snot first!) - lovely to see yu enjoying it.

Hope Father Christmas brings you what you have dreamed off too!

Urg x x

Buffythedebtslayer

I tried REALLY hard, can I just make that clear before I launch into a BIG whinging session.

Yesterday wasn't so bad.......I did get good presents and everyone liked theirs or at least acted like they did. The food was nice and we did get to speak to my sister in the US.

It was however hideously akward, I was starving for some of it (which I am a baby about because it can bring on a migraine v quickly) and - this I warn you is going to sound dreadful, but they do everything in miniture - small glasses of water, small tea cups, plates etc, so I felt i was constantly asking for/getting more (water mainly I hasten to add). Its really silly things like I had to bring my own fizzy drink whereas Mum will buy their favourite especially. When I left the room to go to the loo I was asked where was I going -it was that kind of don't move or change seat position when watching a movie type situation. my back hurt from sitting still so long!

That wasn't so bad tho, we went home fairly early and although I felt bad for Mum driving(I did snap at her at one point - to be honest I think they should have come and picked us up, Mum is in her 70's and their road is an ice rink it was horrible). I just have to let the anger i feel over that go - until I can drive it will not change and i know I am doing the best I can in that department.

Today however it was scenes from my Childhood, my sister- being older has always been more responsible at Christmas although as I got older I did stuff too. Needless to say she was always perfect and I always screwed up. That pretty much sums up the dynamic between my sisters, mum and me. Over the years I have realised that actually it doesn't matter what my sister does she will ALWAYS be perfect and however much I try, being younger I will always be the stupid one. I think I made my peace with this a while ago - I try to do the right thing regardless of how it is received with the family, I was a late baby and have no idea of the past history. I do my thing they do theirs.

I did have a little flash of pure resentment tho, Mum asked me to get the wine so I did, however I had just put hand cream on and couldn't open the bottle, so I asked my sister to open it - just as Mum walked back in and promptly told me off for letting the guests pour the wine. I was livid and snapped I only asked her cos my hands were greasy from the hand cream, (whilst in my head running ALL the stuff I have done to get the house ready for Christmas this week) meanwhile perfect sister was pouring the bloody wine so Mum snapped again. GREAT. Cos of course sister just got all oh oh I don't know what to do please don't shout.

(at which point I was tempted to actually shout to show the difference but I didn't)

The rest of the day was spent with me trying not to lose my rag (which I didn't) and doing pretty much all the clearing up. I just cannot understand how Mum can make such a bloody mess when cooking for just four people - she is a cook and clear up later whereas I am a use it and put it away (dishwasher or wash up) we do not work well together. At All.

To be honest I don't really think Mum should be doing the whole dinner thing but it is impossible to change her mind. She was shattered by about 4 and hardly ate any dinner. And yesterday she fell asleep straight after dinner. I think like me she is secretly glad it is over.

And words cannot express how glad I am it is over. Sadly I think without my Dad and his laughter and encouraging smiles our family just doesn't work any more. It is stilted and hard, no fun at all. no belly laughs or funny stories. It doesn't actually feel like Christmas to be honest. Don't get me wrong as I got older the situation with my sister became more and more clear and the realisation that it would never change was so hard to take, so Christmas hasn't been really great for a while. it did really dent my self confidence and I never really enjoy time spent with her and Mum but at least when Dad was there was an ally, he could calm Mum down and cheer me up. I could escape to walk the dog or feed the rabbit. Now there is very little escape! Although Gps got a lot of visits today!


So in summary, Christmas itself was pretty !!!!. But it is over and I now I need to move on and plan for next year so come Christmas I am NOT in this position again!

Love Buffy xxx

urg123

Oh Buffy - I'm so sorry it was so difficult. Knowing the situation with your sister and realising it will never change must be so hard for you when I know what a living and fun person you really are. I really do hope that you come up with anexcellent plan for next year to escape these stresses. What's the plan for today?

Urg x x

chevalier

So next year make it your aim to spend christmas with your sister in the UK. bu**er the £5000 in savings use it to go to hers for xmas!!!! Sorry that you had such a hard day. I couldn't cope with that situation year in year out. Still next christmas WILL be different! And everytime you think about doing something, that will sabotage this aim, then think of how miserable you were this christmas, and don't do it!

You will be somewhere different next year i am sure. Just don't let your self down (wags finger solemnly!)
chev

Shoe_Gal

Fab post Chev :A - Buffy sorry you've had a bad time but you have the power to make it change