Buffy's Adventures at the Post Office......

Shoe_Gal

Happy Friday Buffy Have a good weekend

Buffythedebtslayer

Grrr. Facebook makes my internet explorer crash.

Anyhow, Staff do was !!!!, my friend wanted me to go got drunk and barely spoke me - that wasn't so bad I spoke to some nice people and was fine till one guy was really rude to me, about my dancing. He is a sexist pig, generally alright in small doses but has burnt his bridges now, he invaded my personal space and that really freaked me out. The thing that really really got me was my friend was like oh don't let it upset you, when the same guy has made comments about her and to her that really upset up - I didnt brush it under the carpet. I am quite worried about her really she seems really highly strung lately and any hint of conflict seems to make her so anxious - she wants to make everything alright.
anyhow lesson learned here - only do stuff cos you want to do stuff not cos my "friend" wants me too.

I had a text from my ex last night too. Part of me knows that I am making a mistake getting involved there again but the other part of me still loves him and hopes.................

I worry that I am becoming very anti men. I feel so unattractive and such a mess and last night was just horrible.Ugh.

Right now I have that horrible dizzy feeling again. I want to go back to bed. BUT I would love to clean the fish,the gp's and go to the fence place. its two o clock. I do need feeding first. hmm.

Going to heat some left overs and put some washing on.

xxx

beanielou

Go to the bloody doctor woman.

Buffythedebtslayer

yes I know. I should go for the blood tests.

ugh. I seen to be opting out of life at the moment. I wanted to get up early today but after the bad week and the headache I woke at 12, had cereal fell back to sleep

came down here. panicked about what I have to get done today (!) put the washing on had lunch, my friend rung me and was lovely. I am so frightened by the idea that I am going to end up alone and miserable in life. She gentley pointed out that I aviod men all the time, no male friends and generally distrustful of men. Even my ex who was there for me at the most difficult time and has got in touch now i am not trustful - when she puts her view on it my fears do seem a little extreme and so I will end up alone and miserable. honestly this was an hour long conversation she hasn't up set me even if what I have put down seems harsh!

All it comes back to is I want time to stop so I can catch up with my life and I know that isn't going to happen. and so I sit.

ugh.

sallyx

right buffy

I want you to forget about all the things on your list apart from changing the bed sheets. I want you to run a hot bath, get in, relax, do all the necessary grooming, cleanse, tone moisterise and paint your nails. Choose something nice to wear tonight, put some slap on and enjoy....oh and choose some nice underwear because it always makes you feel great!

gwen80

Hi Buffy

I don't post very often anymore, but had to come out of the woodwork. First thing...go and get your blood tests done. It is not normal to feel dizzy all the time!!! And your health is the number one priority. Without it, you can't work, can't socialise or do any of the things you want to, so it really has to be sorted out. You know I had similar symptoms earlier this year and was diagnosed with anxiety/depression and they discovered my blood pressure was really high aswell, to the point I was almost blacking out a lot. It is NOT normal, go to the doctors this week.

Secondly, have you considered seeing a counsellor/therapist? Honestly, I feel like I could write your posts so often. It's taken me most of the year to find a good therapist, but it's starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere now and I'm hoping it'll help me make sense of things. I was literally absorbed in regrets from the past and anxieties about what might happen in the future that I felt totally paralysed and was too scared to do anything than sit where I was, even though it was making me terribly unhappy. I'd have periods of enthusiasm where I felt like I was getting somewhere, but then in between I'd feel totally and utterly hopeless. I'm sure I was so familiar with smiling, appearing happy and that I loved my life in front of everybody else that I managed to kid myself at times too. I can totally relate to the attitude to men aswell, but things are starting to change. Anyway, think about the counsellor/therapist bit...maybe something to discuss with your doctor?

Take care

Gwenx

Buffythedebtslayer

gwen80 wrote: »

Hi Buffy

I don't post very often anymore, but had to come out of the woodwork. First thing...go and get your blood tests done. It is not normal to feel dizzy all the time!!! And your health is the number one priority. Without it, you can't work, can't socialise or do any of the things you want to, so it really has to be sorted out. You know I had similar symptoms earlier this year and was diagnosed with anxiety/depression and they discovered my blood pressure was really high aswell, to the point I was almost blacking out a lot. It is NOT normal, go to the doctors this week.

Secondly, have you considered seeing a counsellor/therapist? Honestly, I feel like I could write your posts so often. It's taken me most of the year to find a good therapist, but it's starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere now and I'm hoping it'll help me make sense of things. I was literally absorbed in regrets from the past and anxieties about what might happen in the future that I felt totally paralysed and was too scared to do anything than sit where I was, even though it was making me terribly unhappy. I'd have periods of enthusiasm where I felt like I was getting somewhere, but then in between I'd feel totally and utterly hopeless. I'm sure I was so familiar with smiling, appearing happy and that I loved my life in front of everybody else that I managed to kid myself at times too. I can totally relate to the attitude to men aswell, but things are starting to change. Anyway, think about the counsellor/therapist bit...maybe something to discuss with your doctor?

Take care

Gwenx

Thanks Gwen xxx

I could have written the second paragraph for sure. I know rationally things aren't *that* bad, many friends have worse problems. But when you hurt, you hurt.

I also know I am making progress. Its not perfect but its a start. The whole paralysed thing gets me. Like today. Ok so I have had one of my headaches(I hate being one of "those" people) and did need to sleep. But I have more or less wasted the day. Just because, despite texting ex last night, I wouldn't go to see him. I sat here and stewed over everything.

I have to get on. Fence place is shut saturday! so don't feel so bad, washing is on, bed is airing. bath is full so I shall just get on!

xxx

Shoe_Gal

Hi Buffy

Really good post from gwen - the way you are feeling is not right and the docs needs to be the first step

gwen - lovely to see you post, hope things are better for you :A

waterwatcher

Buffy I have suffered with 3 or 4 day migranes for years, my first part of the cure was the chiropractor which worked a dream, I then only had one at month ... at 'that' time. I was then not feeling tired and your phrase of paralysed about sums it up as when your head aint hurting your recovering from one! Since then I endured a week long of headaches as I withdrew from caffeine and now do not even get headaches let alone migranes. Yes you still need a trip to the doc but if you fancy trying something else I'd say it was worth a go!

Best wishes

macgirl

Sorry to hear things are not so good at the moment Buffy.

You've had some good advice already, but I would say stop saying you'll never meet anyone. You so *will*

You are a fab person, that really comes across in your diary, but have to deal with some carpy situations, that's all. You *will* get through all this, by the help of your friends on here and by helping yourself. I've been where you are, so I know it can happen. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though, as your job takes so much out of you - just take it one step at a time.

Be positive about about the future - it is bright - honest xx