Will my violent ex be able to track me down?

Vomityspice

whatup wrote: »

Oh no too late again :mad: BUT judge wasn't even interested in looking at the case until Police matters have been dealt with, don't know when that will be, so at the moment that's good right?


Again too late :mad: ex has tried everything to take kids from me BUT SS did not take him serious and have made notes in case he tries to do it again. Is this only way that passports will be on alert. If I can't be found to go to court can passports be put on notice at the passport office for when I renew passports or for if I try to change names on passports by deed poll?

Loved your info re Eire :T Not planning on leaving UK to live abroad - does this mean not leaving UK even for a holiday?

Thank you so much for your time

OK.... What 'criminal' offense are being prosecuted? I'm assuming some form of assault and threats of violence? What has he been actually charged with? Also, what are his previous run ins with the legal system (i.e. if he has previously been incarcerated then likelihood ,if found guilty, would be another spell in prison. If it is his first offence, a good solicitor, pleading mitigation would keep him out of jail)?

If you have an ongoing criminal case, even though the CPS 'take on' the prosecution on behalf of the Crown, they will be mightily !!!!ed if you disappear before the case is heard in court. The CPS can and will use all methods to track you down. They have access to all the Governments computer databases, so unless you disappear without recourse to public funds, they will find you. Better to wait until after the final hearing (in all likelihood he will plead guilty before trial, 86% of people do!). Once this is over, the Police, CPS etc won't care where or what you do.

Note that the overwhelming number of application for Contact Orders are granted (i.e. 97%), so wait until after the outcome of the criminal case, then disappear. As previously advised, if your solicitor knows where you are going they will pass this on. If they don't know then there is nothing they can do. The Solicitor's Code of Conduct would mean that their first obligation is to the court. (i.e. they would then serve papers on you). However counter intuitive it seems, far better NOT to tell your solicitor where you are going! You can always instruct a new solicitor in your new area if required.


Local Authority's are not great at 'sharing' information (see every Inquiry into any death). So just because Authority A knows that your ex is a git, doesn't mean that they will tell Authority B. This would require the duty worker to read an entire client file, understand it, and then pass on the detail. Although the majority of LA's now have electronic filing (making files instantly available, no waiting 2 weeks for the file to travel through the internal postal system!), the reality is that the duty worker in the intake team (might be called something similar i.e. referral team?) will simply look at the warning marker on CareFirst (there is another system but most LA's use CF). If the original worker was rubbish, the warning marker might not have ever been added. Hidden in the 3000 pieces of stored document is the information, but the hard pressed duty worker has no chance of finding it, or the inclination to do so......

Passports only get on alert status if the organs of the state want to find you. This means LA's, NHS, Police, Custom and Excise, Border Agencies etc can all request an alert is initiated. Once started, when your passport is swiped the machine gives a clear visual and audible warning for the person to be detained. As any application your ex will be 'Private law' (i.e. civil) then your passport is unlikely to be marked (although not impossible!).

The potential problem with renewing passports is that if gives the potential to track you. People are always the weakest link, so given the right incentive (usually cash but violence is often just as effective), the lowly paid worker in the Passport agency will divulge this information. A quick search will link your old name with your new name. Worse, if you didn't collect the passport from an office, your address would be available! You may have moved but simply going to your old address is likely to garner useful information. I.e. your neighbours will know your name and probably have a forwarding address....... Perhaps better to consider holidays abroad a potential risk (unless ex is in jail, although you would leave potentially traceable information).

Do any of your parent's parents come from Ireland? You could then apply for an Irish passport and avoid some of the risks. It is expensive, but does open up travel opportunities.

kendalls_cave

Also how did you get the deed poll company to do it for free?

I just went to a solicitors and they did it for free cos I was fleeing violence. Not sure if I've still got the template, but will have a look later

skint_chick

I'm not sure how thw housing benefit/council tax benefit works but if you ask Women's Aid they have a lot of experience with this so should be able to give you advice. Don't leave if there's a court case pending - but get yourself prepared to walk out of court and straight to your new life. You have time to prepare and that's a good thing. You've got Social Services on your side as they understand your children aren't at risk so that's even better.

The one thing I would say about the police is that they were less than useful in my case - I got an emergency non molestation order after ex tried to strangle me - and it took them almost 48hrs to serve it on him despite knowing where he worked and lived and other locations he might be - and he's a licensed firearm holder but they didn't take this off him despite texts threatening to shoot me. When he broke the order they came out but didn't arrest him on more than one occasion. They refused to discuss the matter with my solicitor despite assurances that they "would have a word". I'm lucky he moved away soon and I've barely heard from him since.

Women's Aid were great I got support, advice on how to leave and not be traced - and he worked in a job where he could easily find me however hard I tried - and most importantly counselling to deal with the aftermath. It's been 4years and I'm in a happy relationship and dealing with my issues.

babyshoes

A lot of people have suggested Women's Aid. Have you contacted them yet OP? At the end of the day, none of us on here are experts, just concerned strangers with our own ideas, opinions and stories. They deal with these things regularly and will be better placed to help you do the *right* thing so you don't make things worse!

rhodod

This is a sad story to read about. The police always seem to wait until something serious happens before taking any action.
The guy sounds like a right fool.

Fingers crossed everything works out for you.

2nd_Time_Lucky

Sodapop wrote: »

I know someone who has this - it is called an 'instant response marker' and if a call comes in from their address they will dispatch police immediately (rather than waiting to take details, find out what the reason is, etc). The police also had some people come out from an organisation called something like 'homecare' who checked the house was secure, put some better locks on, that kind of thing.

Good luck - what you are doing is scary but it is the right thing and you will be so glad you did it.

I had one of those plus the mobile numbers of the domestic violence contacts at the local police station.

My ex tried to kill me, got caught and prosecuted. I couldnt disappear as the CPS wouldnt have been able to take the case any further. I realised he was seriously deranged when he phoned my mobile provider, got my itemised phone bill and proceeded to work his way through the list until he found where i was hiding. I now have additional passwords on all my accounts from banks to utilities and that provides an extra level of protection. Sadly he managed to convince the police pyschiatrist that he was nuts and got sectioned. This enabled him to get out of the charges as the CPS dropped the case as long as he continued to seek mental health treatment I lost 5 stone and my lovely blonde hair became a brown bob. Name change was £20 on the internet. I had to ditch my friends and moved to another part of the country. we are many years on now and whilst i finally no longer look over my shoulder, i would fall to pieces if i bumped into him

whatup

TO EVERYONE - THANK YOU ALL so much for your help, advice and support which has been brilliant for me, I have taken it on board and feel less alone now.
I haven't had time yet to reply to individual posts, the past couple and the next few days are full with appointments and action plans as a result from this forum. Please keep posting though because I can read faster than I can type and all advice is gratefully received. To all those who suggested Women's Aid, I have made contact and I'm working through the options they have given me (nothing clear cut yet, but then my case is very complicated).
Thanks again x

ailuro2

Thanks for the update, we'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Hope it all goes well and it's not long before you're feeling more secure.:)

meritaten

good luck what up!
when you DO disappear - as much as I would like to know - DONT UPDATE !!!

If you would like to keep using mse then change service providers, get new email addy and NEW NAME. (sorry if you know all this - but its easy to forget) dont use old email addys, dont pick any names associated at all with you! or any interests of yours.

I hope you and your kids have a good life in future - free from harm and fear.
may seem over cautious - but you cant be too careful!

SDG31000

I just wanted to say the best of luck with everything and that I hope you and your children have a wonderful future to look forward to. Take care xxx