Will my violent ex be able to track me down?

Lara44

Here's a list of the most common surnames for the UK.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, nobody should.

Vomityspice

....and I forgot to add.

Throw away ANY loyalty cards you have! Really easy to phone up and say, my partner has lost the card, can you tell me where I used it last so I can ask them if it has been handed in.......

Not convinced about the advice to change name to Ali or Khan. You want to become as anonymous as possible! If the first thing people think of when they hear your name is something like......why does she have a asian sounding name? it just raises suspicion. Better to choose something nondescript like 'Peters' and nobody will give it a second thought. Remember, the idea is to blend in and NOT stand out!

whatup

Savvy_Spender_South wrote: »

Some practice advice hopefully:

Thank you for your advice, I have taken it on board and have already deleted my accounts on Facebook, MySpace and Friends Reunited.

Browntoa

don't think its been mentioned but when putting yourself on the electoral roll make sure you tick the box so that the data does not get shared , think its called the edited register

whatup

Vomityspice wrote: »

If you want to be difficult to trace you will need to do a number of things.

This is exactly what I needed practical advice and lots of it :T:T

Vomityspice wrote: »

You would also need to think about that if your ex is bright enough, he would make an application for contact (£150 at his local court) and if your whereabouts are known by your solicitor, they would be required to notify you. If you have no address to serve papers to (because no one knows it!), then any court application would be useless as the papers couldn't be served.

Too late :mad: Thought at the time that a contact order would protect the kids and give them the stability of seeing their dad. Since then he tried to take our lives and the order is nothing but a hindrance, it could prevent us from disappearing, I face prison for contempt of court for not allowing contact and for abducting my own kids for their own safety - the law won't protect us so I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.

whatup

Squiggly_Diddly wrote: »

Kjmtidea is right - you can change your name by deed poll for free. I did it 4 years ago

Thanks for your post, the information is really useful and just what I needed. :T

whatup

ailuro2 wrote: »

Have a story made up too, to tell your new friends, something about your husband dying in a motorbike crash or something - common but not always reported in papers if they get curious.;)

Good idea, not sure if I'll use it but I like it

skint_chick

Don't register to vote at all - I've not been fined/caught yet and it's been 14years for the same reasons as you. Pick a basic bank account/savings account with cashcard for your new name that isn't reported to a credit reference agency. Don't make any contact with friends or family. Don't have a car that needs insurance/ registration with DVLA. Watch your contents insurance - insurance companies share information with credit reference agencies. Forgot about loyalty cards/landlines/contract mobiles/old email addresses. Don't even tell the local police who you really are - you never know who they know/will be overheard gossiping by.

If you're claiming benefits/tax credits you need to give them an address and then set up a re-direction. Talk to Women's Aid they are great at helping with all this and the emotional fallout of it.

Good luck and stay safe.

miss_independent

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say how much I feel for you and think you are so brave, what a tough situation to be in. My mum was in a similar situation before she married my dad and she ended up not just having to leave her crazy ex but also my brother and two sisters who were babies/toddlers at the time. I so hope that everything works out for you and your boys and that you find happiness.

far2812

I cant seem to find any information that you have got legal advice?????? Assuming you have - then you MUST speak to your solicitor about assistance in this matter - it is too much for ANYONE to take on under the stress. Believe me - you will ALWAYS miss something.

If you haven't got a solicitor - then that is the very first place to start.

I am surprised that the Police didn't involve Women's Aid and Social Services (they are there to protect the well being of your children and if they in anyway at risk from seeing their father - steps will be taken).

There is so much to go into as everyone is saying so I suppose:

1. Have you sought legal advice?
2. Are social services involved?
3. Is the perpatrator living in the community or in jail?
4. When is he due to see the children?

I wish you much strength - you are doing the right thing by protecting yourself and your children.

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