High income but deep deep in debt-any advice?

mynewaccount

I'm going to prefix this whole reply with the substantial and serious qualificiation that THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY A VERY BAD IDEA but I wanted to get it out there and see what other people think..

From what I can see, the 1500% APR interest rate on that Payday loan is by far the thing that's killing your finances, each and every month. It's an inferno which must be extinguished before anything else.

So... What happens if, instead of paying your credit card one month, you put that money towards the payday loan? OK, you get some late payment charges and have to pay double the next month. What happens if you go into an unauthorised overdraft? Yes, you get hammered with bank charges and a nasty rate of interest. But even if your bank charged you 40% on what you owed, instead of 20%, that's still infinitely preferable to 1500% on the payday loan. At that APR the debt will be rising so quickly as to crush you.

How likely is it that you could miss a payment on your rent one month? Yes, I know, I repeat again, THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY A VERY BAD IDEA and is in every sense a high risk strategy, but if you've fenced yourself into a corner where you can't attack the more obvious causes of your woes, then could this be a - dangerous - way to break the cycle? If you can just clear that payday loan you can mop up the rest in future months. You get in trouble for a month, but you clear the payday loan. Next month you pay double rent (£3000) and credit card bills (£1000) and you take the hit of the charges you'll be attracting on your overdraft, but at least that 1500% APR loan is gone.

I freely admit that this is unfair - in a sense you're shifting the burdens of your debt onto other people and other lenders who do not deserve the responsibility. But can you get away with it in the ultra-short term? (e.g. just for one month)

Great news that you've made progress with the costs of nursery, etc. That'll be a big help once it starts to kick in too. Perhaps if you do this in the month where you have that extra cash available, you'll have more freedom.

I admit I really don't like the idea of not paying your rent - maybe just see how far you can force an unauthorised overdraft? As I say, even given the punishing rates they'll be charging you for that kind of activity, it can't be worse than the payday loans, and if it gets you out of that particular trap then everything else will be far easier to deal with in comparison.

It doesn't need to be said that all of this activity will leave negative marks all over your credit file - but you're not getting credit right now anyway, and more credit is not what you need in the future.

Don't take my word for this alone - as I say, this message is intended as a point of discussion only to see what you (and others) think.

Looking at more conventional avenues, do you have ANYTHING you can sell to raise some money? Even if you buy it back again in a few months time when the smoke has cleared? Your priority MUST be clearing that payday loan, once and for all.

Your debt IS large but IS manageable once you get on top of it. You CAN sort this out. Yes, it's going to be tough, but it is achievable. You have the income and the assets to back it up in the long term, it's just a lack of cash on hand causing you trouble right now. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you the very best of luck.

mummytofour

Did I read that you have 55k in shares in your SOA? If so then sell them that is the most simple option.

I personally think your wife sounds very selfish but I can also see you are depressed and desperate. I would suggest that you get to the DRs and perhaps get some help or meds. At the moment there are far too many things going on in your life for you to be able to cope with everything and there will be no quick fixes, please try not to stress, this situation will work out but there are things you will HAVE to do along the way.

Your wife does sound like she is either money grabbing or she has issues to me! How is her relationship with the child? If your child is in full time nursery it could it be your wife is unable/scared or unssure of how to cope with a child at home? Perhaps instead of saying no nursery this could be scaled back, that way your wife wont have such a shock and your child will still have what she is used to. If your wife is scared of looking after the child then the health visitor should be able to provide help and info on local toddler groups and support etc.

I would try not to separate from your wife right now as I feel that you have far too much going on as it is none of which is good for your mental health. Instead of cutting back on everything scale it back a chunk at a time. This way it wont be such a shock to the family. Altho I feel its easy to cut out the £300 a month clothes with not worries at all. The food budget might need to be done in chuncks, more for your wifes sake if I am honest. Either that or you have controll and give her an allowance?



The loans well first off you need that pay day one gone if you are unable to sell your shares for some odd reason you need to pay this 3.2 off asap. That is the one things which is not helpping. Set this as a target. I am sure you must have lots of gadgets or things you can sell on EBAY? One step at a time, you will sort this.


Sit down with your wife and nicley explain everything you have done to us. There has to be a compromise, exaplain to her she wont have anywhere near what she has now if these debts dont get sorted or if your marrage fails. Marrage is about working togther, not about one person having the stress of the world on their shoulders while the other lives the life of Riley.

I think your in a tough position right now but I am very worried you have too much going on and you will need to be v careful how you handle everything. Please look after yourself.

jonjamie1970

Hope your getting somewhere with this, I have some sympathy, I also earned decent money, I married a woman 12 years my younger who didnt work and we had two children, seperated now but let me make a couple of points.

1. Your wife never had any intentions of getting a job
2. Your daughter will grow up a lovely and balanced girl.
3. She would get custody if you go down that root, almost certainly.
4. Take control and stop the spending, if she leaves then she is not worth it, I have a better relationship with my daughters now than I did when we were livign together, I can now focus on them, I got my spending sorted, yes I pay maintenance but im still better off than when I was with my blood sucking wife.

Good luck

diable

tonyE1 wrote: »

I am a qualified accountant and although I can't give you details there are people/companies who will advance you money possibly with a second charge on your property, you just need to ask around - you are a reasonably safe risk although your rating is sunk and a non-mainstream lender would see that - just make sure you read all the small print before you sign anything.

Good luck.

He rents the property he is in.

dorisday

tonyE1 wrote: »

Tried to read through most of the thread and can understand people's reaction but also sympathise a lot with your predicament. My wife is not from UK and we have a young son. She absolutely wont compromise on anything. Yesterday I was so ill from food poisoning that I couldn't get out of bed yet she proceeded to eat 3 meals without offering me anything - nice - but she can also be wonderful when she chooses to be (she has what is described as an extreme Mediterranean temperment) , so I can understand when you refer to you relationship in that its not something you want to tackle at the moment. Like you I have in the past earnt six figure sums and have been through debt problems. I am now in the position where I am having to live abroad to be with my son although it is in a beautiful place next to the sea and fortunately my new venture means I can work anywhere and generate a reasonable income.

I am a qualified accountant and although I can't give you details there are people/companies who will advance you money possibly with a second charge on your property, you just need to ask around - you are a reasonably safe risk although your rating is sunk and a non-mainstream lender would see that - just make sure you read all the small print before you sign anything.

I really hope everything gets sorted for you. I resign myself to the fact that MY marriage is unlikely to survive but I need to make sure I am making the right decision before I decide to pull the rug. Just remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Good luck.

READ THE THREAD AGAIN and take note - the op RENTS his home!!!!

tonyE1

dorisday wrote: »

READ THE THREAD AGAIN and take note - the op RENTS his home!!!!

Yeah, maybe you should read the post above yours as its already been mentioned. Anything useful to contribute? No didn't think so.

Moomum

Hi,

From what I have gathered from your posts it seems as you may be in the same industry as my OH, I know how easy it is to become accustomed to a certain lifestyle as I have. I worked up until the birth if our DD in April and am now most likely going to be a SAHM. However if my OH came to me and explained everything as you have done on here then I would cut down my spending and get a job if needed without question. MAybe your wife doesnt realise quite how serious the situation is?
Explain that if you do miss these payments it may impact on your job and then rather than just cutting back for 6 months you would need to cut back indefinately. I agree that the easiest thing to do is cut the nursery, your debt payments will be covered easily by these fees and can even be used to overpay if necessary and then nothing else needs to cut back.

I hope it all gets sorted and wish you the very best

xx

snugglepet20

OP you are very worried about your daughter. From your comments your wife does not appear to be a mother type. She puts her in full time nursery when she is not at work, sticks her in front of the telly all day and f's and blinds in front of her. Perhaps she will not even want your daughter in the divorce as it will hinder her chances of getting another man and limit her social life. Perhaps when you are sorted you could offer her a lump sum for a quickie divorce and full custody. I know you haven't exactly said you are getting divorced but please don't let her threaten you into staying when you are unhappy plus if arguements continue your daughter will start to display signs of anxiety and her mental health could be damaged.

tobiascurious

The wife does seem unreasonable but maybe the marriage can be saved.

It seems hard to believe that this woman, deep down, values material possessions more than family life. Maybe there's someone else who can talk to her about it.

ILW

tobiascurious wrote: »

The wife does seem unreasonable but maybe the marriage can be saved.

It seems hard to believe that this woman, deep down, values material possessions more than family life. Maybe there's someone else who can talk to her about it.

There are many that do. Just look at the TV.