Soon it will be bumper September according to EAs

Davesnave

Exocet wrote: »

I like 'artisan'.

Ah yes, a textured ceiling coating with added mould inhibitor for nasty, damp, student properties. Know it well.

LydiaJ

Freakonomics has some interesting analysis about the words EAs use to describe houses (in America). There's a summary here.

Five Terms Correlated to a Higher Sales Price

• Granite
• State-of-the-Art
• Corian
• Maple
• Gourmet

Five Terms Correlated to a Lower Sales Price

• Fantastic
• Spacious
• !
• Charming
• Great Neighborhood

Three of the five terms correlated with a higher sales price are physical descriptions of the house itself: granite, Corian, and maple. As information goes, such terms are specific and straightforward—and therefore pretty useful. If you like granite, you might like the house; but even if you don’t, “granite” certainly doesn’t connote a fixer-upper. Nor does “gourmet” or “state-of-the-art,” both of which seem to tell a buyer that a house is, on some level, truly fantastic.
“Fantastic,” meanwhile, is a dangerously ambiguous adjective, as is “charming.” Both these words seem to be real-estate agent code for a house that doesn’t have many specific attributes worth describing. “Spacious” homes, meanwhile, are often decrepit or impractical. “Great neighborhood” signals a buyer that, well, this house isn’t very nice but others nearby may be. And an exclamation point in a real estate ad is bad news for sure, a bid to paper over real shortcomings with false enthusiasm.

Generali

I missed the word 'bumper' when I read the thread title. That changes your expectations about the content considerably.

Cleaver

Exocet wrote: »

I like 'artisan'.

The brochure for the house we live in now had the kitchen described as 'extravagant'. Presumably this means that our kitchen buys lunch from Pret A Manger rather than making it at home and buys real champagne when friends come over instead of going for a bottle of sparkling Lambrini.

westlondonbuyer

Someone really needs to translate agent language into buyer language.

"Immaculate presentation" = vendor has watched too many property programmes and thinks wallpapered feature walls and Farrow & Ball paint justify a price tag that's 25% too high
"Well-presented" = clean and tidy on the surface, also terribly dated and not very tasteful
"In need of modernisation" = unspeakable dump needing chartered surveyor and architect as well as builder and decorator
"With potential to extend into the loft and the side return" = this one's very popular in London. It means "It will cost £100k to realise that potential, you'll need to live elsewhere for 9 months, and there's a very real danger you'll never recoup the money in a falling market."