What will help my grief? Burial at home or individual cremation

EmptyPockets

virgin_moneysaver wrote: »

I came back on here to ask how you were doing 3 months down the line but you beat me to it, to me she's irreplaceable but I bow to your experience, and obviously others who I see with new dogs months later - I think also shock has a lot to do with it, I just wasn't prepared for the speed of the injection, good for her I know, but I was expecting her breathing to diminish gradually, yesterday morning I had a waggy girl, now shes gone

Nell will always be your 'number one', that's how it should be! Suki was definitely irreplacable. There is a special place in both of our hearts just for her. But there's still enough love for the ones we have now. How is your husband coping with the loss of Nell? I can tell you from experience that talking about her and talking about your feelings is a massive help for letting out the grief.

My husband was so upset over Suki that he had to take a week off work. During that week we went for many long walks, just aimlessly walking the streets holding hands and talking till we were blue in the face! Not only was it good to get out of the house and away from all the memories, it helped us deal with it together. We often just repeated ourselves, saying the same thing over and over about how we were feeling, but God did it help.

The injection working so quick would have been a blessing for Nell. Remind yourself of that and remind yourself that what you did was the very last act of kindness you could do for her. We never had that chance. We lost Suki while she was having a massive operation so the shock for us was even more devastating, but we told ourselves that Suki had chosen to leave. The pain was too much for her and she saved us from having to make the decision we dreaded.

Please feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk more. I am on MSN or Yahoo if you wanted a 'real time' chat... I'm always available.

:grouphug:

lisawood78

I can't advise with regards what to do now i'm afraid, mine have always been buried at home but I know that is not for everyone.

I'm sorry for your loss, another beautiful star at the bridge tonight

fawny

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Nell. I lost my 4 year old Springer about a year & half ago. That too was such a shock, didn't even know she was ill as had been her normal mad springer self. I decided to ask for her ashes back & she in burried in a lovely planter with a nice plant in the garden so I think of her when I see it. Also means should we move I can take her with me. The pain does come easier in time.

I now have another wonderful springer pup who gives me so much joy but we alway remember little Fawn.

Time is a great healer.

Look after yourself

Quinny_2

Just come across this post, and my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

When Snowy died, our rabbit, we loved him so much that we had his ashes returned to us in a beautiful little box, which proudly sits in his favourite place, the conservatory. We know that at least he's still with us in a fashion, and whatever we do in the future, we know that he will always go with us.

The decision you will make with Nell, will come to you in time, and you know you'll have made the right one. At the moment it's all still too painful to contemplate, but I'm sure she's watching over you, knowing that you ended her suffering with dignity.

Take care.

Ken.

renegade

I am sorry for your loss, an old cliche but time is wonderful healer and you have your pet in your heart to take with you wherever you go.
I have had 3 dogs that had to be PTS but I was not brave enough to take them, my daughter did it for me, we went for cremation and din't have the ashes as I am a firm believer that once dead the soul moves on, as with humans.
I have photos on my window sill, and stupid as it seems I kiss the them and tell them I loved them.
I will never forget the wonderful times we had together and still miss them all.
Got 2 dogs now as I could not live without a dog in my home.
The tears will stop , the memories will never fade and you will move on, hard to believe but it is true.
Best wishes to you and your family.

EmptyPockets

Hi Virgin_Moneysaver... I was wondering how you are getting on and if you're starting to feel a little better yet?

virgin_moneysaver

EmptyPockets wrote: »

Hi Virgin_Moneysaver... I was wondering how you are getting on and if you're starting to feel a little better yet?

just came back to this thread this afternoon - we went away this weekend with friends that had been arranged for some time before Nell, even though it was good to get away from the house, I feel it was just postponing the inevitable - I've spent the afternoon upset - my husband has been brill, he also misses her &, yes when I try to talk I just keep going over the same things - mainly that my last image of her was on the table staring into space - the fact that we knew for a week what was going to happen didn't prepare me in anyway - I ate a meal for the 1st time Friday night, I just feel sick with it all & I just want her back, I miss her so much, she was my gorgeous girl & I feel shes taken a piece of me with her

EmptyPockets

virgin_moneysaver wrote: »

just came back to this thread this afternoon - we went away this weekend with friends that had been arranged for some time before Nell, even though it was good to get away from the house, I feel it was just postponing the inevitable - I've spent the afternoon upset - my husband has been brill, he also misses her &, yes when I try to talk I just keep going over the same things - mainly that my last image of her was on the table staring into space - the fact that we knew for a week what was going to happen didn't prepare me in anyway - I ate a meal for the 1st time Friday night, I just feel sick with it all & I just want her back, I miss her so much, she was my gorgeous girl & I feel shes taken a piece of me with her

Aww big hugs. Reading that was just like looking back at myself three months ago. I can identify with everything you said, so please trust me when I say that it does get easier. Things that brought us the most comfort were:

Having lots of framed pictures of Suki all around the house
Having her ashes home with us
Getting out of the house more than usual - exercise makes you feel better so walking is good
Talking
Doing something in memory of your little one. We made a few donations to local animal rescue centers, and talked about a small area of the garden which we will dedicate to Suki, with a bush or small tree in her memory.

Trying to 'take your mind off it' by keeping busy doesn't really work. You just have to let your grief take its course, ride it out, and before you know it, the pain will lift and leave you with just mostly happy memories and smiles when you think of the good times Nell had with you. She was one of the lucky dogs.

virgin_moneysaver

narabanekeater wrote: »

so sorry about your dog. I used to work in a vets and if you have an questions I will answer them honestly. I havent read the thread you mentioned. I with all my heart trested every animal that was PTS and left with us with dignity.

thank you - the other thread was from an ex- vet employee who takes her pets personally to the crematorium as she've seen the way they've been tossed around once the owners have left - but I just would like to think that these are in the minority

virgin_moneysaver

EmptyPockets wrote: »

Aww big hugs. Reading that was just like looking back at myself three months ago. I can identify with everything you said, so please trust me when I say that it does get easier. Things that brought us the most comfort were:

Having lots of framed pictures of Suki all around the house
Having her ashes home with us
Getting out of the house more than usual - exercise makes you feel better so walking is good
Talking
Doing something in memory of your little one. We made a few donations to local animal rescue centers, and talked about a small area of the garden which we will dedicate to Suki, with a bush or small tree in her memory.

Trying to 'take your mind off it' by keeping busy doesn't really work. You just have to let your grief take its course, ride it out, and before you know it, the pain will lift and leave you with just mostly happy memories and smiles when you think of the good times Nell had with you. She was one of the lucky dogs.

I've been looking at pictures hoping that they'll erase the final image of her lodged in my brain - my eldest son is also collating all the family photos of Nell so I can look at her when she was well & try to remember her that way

A little of her history: I was walking to work one filthy, cold November morning when I came across a shivering, muddy non-descript dog cowering against a shop window, took her to the local vet on instruction of the Dog Warden, & to cut a long story short this bedraggled mess became mine a week later after being unclaimed, the local pound do not destoy healthy dogs & they had brought her up a treat, one lovely Black & White English Springer Spaniel, who was not nuts like so many of her breed, but we immediately had an inseparable bond, strangers used to comment on how she used to look at me, with such trust. After living in a testosterone fuelled house (1 hubby, 2 sons) she was my little girl, pink collar to boot, they used to add her name to my Mothers Day card