Is any one watching the "I smack and I'm proud"

joanne0620

I didn't watch it unfortunately (DH had some rubbish on about the Romans!:rolleyes: ) and forgot to video it.

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with our 1st child and we have discussed smacking at some length, I was smacked as a child (even at school! :eek: ) as was DH.

We have mutually decided that we would lightly smack hands if DS trying to say, touch the fire when it's on, or grab a pan off the cooker or in a similar circumstance. I do not agree with a good walloping on the legs etc, I witnessed a child being smacked in Tesco the other week and the mother smacked the child so hard (repeatedly) that she knocked the childs legs from under him and he ended up on the floor and then the mother smacked him even harder because he was struggling to get up! :eek:

Ivrytwr3

I'm for smacking as a last resort. I was rarely smacked as a child, but i remember doing something extremely naughty and my dad chased me up the stairs and smacked me; I never did that again!

I think i realised that i shouldn't have done what i did as it provoked such a reaction from my parents. Not only was the physical pain huting me but also the fact that i had hurt/angered my parents so much.

I respected my father for that and i still speak to him!!

SCREAMIN_BABIES

my children have got a routine of warned three times after three times they get the naughty step which they do stay on if they do it again after that they get a smack on there bottom or back of legs . unless i am in a rotten mood to then i just send them to there room out the way so that i dont take my anger out on them .

freebie_junkie

my parents never believed in smacking coz they (and i) think its about teh parent losing control and condoning vilonece as a way of solving conflict.

when i was little i had punishmnets like talks, grounding, going to bed early, losing pocket money, and some really odd-ball creative punishmants liek on time i had to scrape all the weeds out from between the crazy paving that is all around one side of my parents semi! hehe!

i really wished i was smacked when i was a kid coz it didnt last as long- i dont think smacking would have taught me a lesson coz i wouldnt have really lost anything (wether it be my free time or money or etc.) and it would have been over really quickly unlike grounding and that crazy paving punishmant which took ages! i think my parents punishments really taught me!

freebie_junkie

i ahte it when you see parents smacking tehir kids in public and i mean really walloping them, i saw one dad lift a young girl off teh floor by her wrist and wallop her on teh bum, she was crying so hard she couldnt breathe then she got a smack on the head for crying, i was nearly crying after seeing that, it broke my heart. another time i saw a mum in tesco screaming at her lad 'come here and youre goign to get a smack' so suprisingly, he didnt 'come here' and she chased him round the fruit and veg until she caught him then she smacked his face. once again, i was shocked, if an adult had just done that to another adult (who was much more able to look after themselves) they would have been arrested for asault, but no one else seemed bothered, tehy had a quick gaup then went back to feeling which bananas were the ripest or whatevber they were doing. it mad eme feel sick that i was powerless to help those kids.

sara2323

I don't believe in smacking, I was also watching This Morning yesterday and they were discussing the programme and one of the guests was adamant smacking was fine if you were calm and not punishing the child because you were angry...
I would find it hard to stand there and judge weather it was for "me" or due to what my little boy had done as it sometimes happens so quick.

I was also smacked by my dad never my mother, I stopped calling him dad and refused to talk to him for several years, he was away alot and I grew up not calling him dad I rarely see him now and still call him "my brothers dad".

With my children I tend to use a combination of sticker charts, time out and taking favourite toys away from them if the bad behaviour continues.

Miroslav wrote:

I was physically punished as a child, and it may work for the short term (i.e, stops you doing something), but now I rarely speak to my step dad.

People wonder why some youngsters today are the way they are, and sometimes you just need to look at the parents.

In my last job in retail, a lad of 12/13 was constantly told to shut the beep up, or his father would kick the beep out of him, when they came instore (that's told he would be, not actually physically beaten there and then)

Just down from me, I saw a woman smacking a kid the other day.......it wasn't even her kid, it was her friends and the friend approved!

Smacking is not about telling the kids off, it's about how the parents deal with their own anger.

Rachie_B

freebie_junkie wrote:

my parents never believed in smacking coz they (and i) think its about teh parent losing control and condoning vilonece as a way of solving conflict.

when i was little i had punishmnets like talks, grounding, going to bed early, losing pocket money, and some really odd-ball creative punishmants liek on time i had to scrape all the weeds out from between the crazy paving that is all around one side of my parents semi! hehe!

i really wished i was smacked when i was a kid coz it didnt last as long- i dont think smacking would have taught me a lesson coz i wouldnt have really lost anything (wether it be my free time or money or etc.) and it would have been over really quickly unlike grounding and that crazy paving punishmant which took ages! i think my parents punishments really taught me!

:rotfl: im soooooo going to steal that idea next time my 10 yr old misbehaves .... :beer:

i hate seeing kids being shouted at / smacked in the street or shops etc,makes me want to cry and makes my blood boil at the same time

thing is if they do that in public,it doesnt bear thinking about how bad it may get at home behind closed doors ?!

freebie_junkie

Rachie_B wrote:

:rotfl: im soooooo going to steal that idea next time my 10 yr old misbehaves .... :beer:

i hate seeing kids being shouted at / smacked in the street or shops etc,makes me want to cry and makes my blood boil at the same time

thing is if they do that in public,it doesnt bear thinking about how bad it may get at home behind closed doors ?!

believ me it really taught me a lesson! the poaving was made up of indivitual blocks teh side a house bricks and my dad made me a tool to do it with a bent nail on teh end of a broom handle. in teh end it bacame a big thing and everyoen joined in, he had to make two more tools for my sister and cousin too

bluezone

I havent seen the programme but I was smacked as a child (not thrashed!) if the warnings i.e glare didnt work - so it was a last resort. I have to say I agree with a 'tap' as the last resort. My sisters and I all had this and we hardly ever needed a smack - we knew how far we could go. I am now 27 and my sisters are 33, and 35.

Incidently my eldest sis also has the 'tap routine' and my nephew (6) and neice (8) both have good manners, well behaved and again know how far to go. Normally just a firm word is enough.

Would I smack my children? Yes but only as a last result once boundaries had been crossed.

margaretclare

Usually you hear people of my generation (the gimmers!!!!) say things like 'it never did me any harm....'

Well, I must be unusual. The first time I was EVER hit as a child, it was the biggest shock to me. And it wasn't at home, it was at school! I was 6, we had to write out a sum and I honestly, genuinely did not know that you had to write it in figures. I wrote it in words: 'sixpence hay-penny'. And I got the biggest crack across the wrist with a ruler. I have NEVER forgotten that. I can feel it to this day. And do you know what? It did NOT teach me 'not to be naughty' or whatever it was meant to teach me. All it did was put me off learning anything to do with 'sums' - figures, any aspect of maths at all. That stayed with me for decades. In my 70th year I did the national course in Skills for Life and I passed Level 1 and then Level 2. I've just started on the GCSE Maths course and I'm now 71.

I didn't watch that programme, it would have distressed me too much. People argue that 'a light tap' does no harm - well, it's very arguable. But in any case, the kind of physical violence that people have described in this thread goes far beyond 'a light tap which does no harm'. It's actual and grievous bodily harm, isn't it, because the strength of an adult male is far beyond that of a child, and it's about power, the enjoyment of power, which is sadism! And also, the adult must know where to stop - as described in this thread, it's quite obvious that some adults do NOT know where to stop! And also, the use of foul language....

Our friends who have a very lively little nearly-3 boy are very firm with him, set clear boundaries, and they use the 'naughty step'. He's far too precious to them - IVF, older Dad - for them to use violence against him.

Margaret