Is any one watching the "I smack and I'm proud"

Rachie_B

missk_ensington wrote:

She just could not control him, I never saw him say please/thankyou he had no table manners (chomping with his mouth open!) it was awful. Why should he, if there is no consequence for his actions? I'm all for 'time out' etc if it works, but it doesn;t always work for us.

!

yes it would appear he is allowed to "get away" with things,maybe they dont use ANY discipline at all ,time out whatever i dont think he should be smacked for having no manners or being "spoilt"

there are many forms of discipline and * IMO * smacking should be a last resort,if at all

Rachie_B

Mrs_Optimist wrote:

I remember being in the public library a year or so ago, went to the loo, came back and the childrens library was deathly quiet. My DH informed me that a woman in there with a 3-4 year old and a baby had pulled down the pants of her 3-4 year old, put her across her knee and repeatedly slapped her bare bum because she couldn't hang on to go to the toilet (mum was feeding the baby) AND HAD WET HERSELF. i WOULD HAVE DEFINATELY CONFRONTED HER IF i HaD BEEN THERE, MY TWO CHILDREN WERE VERY UPSET BY IT. sHE HAD LEFT THE LIBRARY WHEN i HAD GOT BACK. i CALLED social services and explained what had happened and they followed it up with the library because as they pointed out, if she did that in public what did she do behind closed doors? Anyway imagine my surprise when DH returned from a plumbing job a couple of moths back, by sheer coincidence he had a job at the womans house, and her husband is a Chief Constable in the Police! DH didn't think that the husband was as hand happy because he seemed to have a lot of patience and the daughter in question was now at pre-school. A few weeks ago I was in a supermarket and a mother hit her 8-9 year old son round the head and he was in tears and a lot of pain, asking "what did you do that for" to which she replied "you KNOW what I did that for" - if he knew why did he ask?

I have smacked my children very rarely, always when I have lost control and have felt awful about it afterwards and apologised. They are both well behaved children, who do test my patience at times, but donet all children? I was smacked as a child and I can't say either way if it did me good, but I do know that I have alwats had the upmost respect for my parents and people in authority, which I think may have something to do with it.

:eek: oh my god

Mrs_pbradley936

Ideas on how to treat children change over time - caning used to take place in schools after all. In fact lots of ideas change over time. I am old enough to remember when you used to put starch into washing - now they do the opposite and use Comfort or Lenor!

missk_ensington

Rachie B -Please don't misunderstand me! I am not saying the child should have been smacked for having no manners on the absolute contrary, he should have been told that it was rude and taught how to behave. I think as you say, there was a lack of discipline of any description which I think it MORE wrong than the odd smacked bum!

Again, I can't emphasise enough how sparingly I think smacks should be done, and I'm talking ONE short sharp spank on the bottom (with clothes on not their bare !!!! like the woman in the library! I would also have called Social Services in that kind of situation!!)

Rachie_B

pbradley936 wrote:

Ideas on how to treat children change over time - caning used to take place in schools after all. In fact lots of ideas change over time. I am old enough to remember when you used to put starch into washing - now they do the opposite and use Comfort or Lenor!

i remember it was the "black dap" when i was at junior school !

few yrs before that it was the cane when my sisters were there :eek:

fortunately we were v good girlies :A :rotfl:

buxtonrabbitgreen

a lot of this smacking seems to happen in Tescos. I did find with one of mine that the supermarket was the place she always behaved worst, for instance at about 5 constanltly climbing on the side of the trolley everytime I looked the other way. and i do think that when you are shopping with small children, trying to think what you want, and making sure they dont disappear can be quite stressful. I did smack mine once for this and after that all it took was "Ive told you 3 times, you know what will happen if you do it again" and she was cured. The thing is that this activity was dangerous and she would have been hurt more by the full trolley tipping on her. I always try reasoning, talking to them first and really that was the only ocassion I felt it necessary.

Wendy1_2

My mother used to hit me when I was younger. She used to hit me with a hairbrush all the time. She used to like to hit me around the head and face and then she'd throw in a kick for good measure if I was on the floor.
This started when I was about 6 years old. I left home when I was 17 am now 39 and have as little to do with her as possible.
Her favourite expression was " I'll f**** knock you into the middle of next week".
I now have three children of my own and would never be like that.
She's 58 now, I never call her Mum , I have as little as possible to do with her and she's missed out on her grandchildren.
What's unbelievable is she doesnt think that she did anything wrong or she totally denies it

lynzpower

I would never hit a child. its just plain wrong.

I couldnt watch the programme, due to the use of the word " proud" why would you be "proud" of hitting a child?

I have seen how quickly "a little tap" which ever so seldom might work in terms of pulling a toddlers hand out of a fire ( not that I know anyone with open fires, but there you are) but in terms of discipline it doesnt work, s someone else has already pointed out that the child may not be able to understand why they were hit. Eg, If Im larking around in tescos as a 4 year old, pulling cereal off the shelf, and i get slapped legs. What has that taught me?

What it tells children that to get your own way, you hit people. thats not how I operate, and my children will not learn how to act like that from me.

Rachie_B

Wendy1 wrote:

My mother used to hit me when I was younger. She used to hit me with a hairbrush all the time. She used to like to hit me around the head and face and then she'd throw in a kick for good measure if I was on the floor.
This started when I was about 6 years old. I left home when I was 17 am now 39 and have as little to do with her as possible.
Her favourite expression was " I'll f**** knock you into the middle of next week".
I now have three children of my own and would never be like that.
She's 58 now, I never call her Mum , I have as little as possible to do with her and she's missed out on her grandchildren.
What's unbelievable is she doesnt think that she did anything wrong or she totally denies it

(((hugs))) thats so sad wendy

hilstep2000

I haven't watched the programme, but I did smack my children. Daughter is now 20, son is 16, and they are the most loving children you could ever meet. They do know how to behave though. Even now, they both ask to leave the table at mealtimes! (and I don't expect it at their age!) They are always buying me flowers, and saying "Mum I do love you."
I'm sure that if you do smack, you just have to make sure that it's counteracted when they are good with loads of love. Didn't do me any harm, or my kids.