Need to get baby into a routine - please help

strawberrypud

I have a 3 month old baby and I am starting a college course 2 nights a week next week. My MIL will be watching the 2 kids...my toddler who is easy (bed at 7pm, always been in a good routine)and the baby who is 3 months and so far has been impossible to get into a routine. All attempts to get her to bed at 7pm have been met with a very alert baby who will scream and scream. But I need to get her into a bedtime routine this week so I can go off to my course and not be totally preoccupied thinking about my poor baby all distressed back home. I want to know she is just sleeping soundly while I am out.

Not only that. I am feeling so frustrated that the baby wants/needs (?) so much attention. My poor toddler is missing out. Tonight we put her in her new big bed for the first time and I so wanted to spend time up there enjoying this important transition and having cuddles and reading her a story. Instead I was up and down trying to soothe the baby who was crying through exhaustion but will not go to sleep without rocking and dummy in and stroking etc

Please advise me. Nobody is happy

bonty44

Is baby sleeping well during the day? My DS3 is 3 months old and from about 3 weeks I was a very mean mummy and would wake him up after 2 hours and play with him to make sure he didn't sleep too much during the day, also to make sure that he had enough milk during the day with the idea that he would sleep well at night. I can't get him to sleep much earlier than 9pm at the moment, which I know I need to work on, but he does then sleep through till 7.30 a.m. I am definitely more than ready to feed him then and wake up in agony some mornings!

If baby isn't going down at 7pm then baby probably isn't tired.

Might be worth leaving baby in her cot with her mobile to occupy her so that you have time to relax with toddler; DS3 goes into his cot for mobile time when I'm having a shower and putting make up on, for example ... I know he's safe in there and he's got something to occupy him.

Also from about 3 weeks I put DS3 into a sleeping bag when it was night time, and he just seems to know that it is bedtime; he will sometimes fall asleep when I'm feeding him but sometimes he won't, but I leave him in his basket sucking his hands till he drops off.

And no, i'm not a meanie Mummy, he gets plenty of cuddles all day long, but not at bedtime!

Bella79

all i can say is google The baby whisperer, its down to earth good advice, i got my lo in a rountine follwoing her advice x

go_cat

I would say the baby is either not tired enough in which case could you cut down on any later afternoon sleeps and adjust them to earlier in the day or baby is overtired in which case isn't getting enough sleep and is overstimulated.

Hard as it is you do have to be firm and consistent as they even as this young age pick up on the fact if they cry someone will come in

Good luck

gratefulforhelp_2

strawberry well done on the course. Frankly I would take baby with me with the permission of the course leader. I took my littlest on a 3-day union course when she was 2 months, no probs.
Otherwise can MIL not just amuse her, sing songs and jiggle joggle her?
I know we all have different attitudes to this and its a contentious area, but three months is very young to be in a routine.
Lucky you, I bet both children are gorgeous.

eta stick her in a sling if you take her on the course, I bet she'll sleep right through it, just don't overheat her.

liney

Have a look at the Baby Whisperer routine - it is based on getting the baby into a routine sleeping from 7pm to 7am by scheduling the day in 3 hour blocks - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. if i remember rightly. http://www.babywhispererforums.com/

Furny

By all means follow any Ops advice you wish but really " don't worry" i know in your mind you want it to be all fine at home but the MIL probably won't be bothered if babys awake as she will get to spend 'quality time' with them! in our sleep deprived frazzeled mine we want it perfect but they look it as a chance to have some 'alone time' with the grandkids.
You go enjoy your course, well done you for doing something like that & have a break! once you are out of the door the sleeping responsibility is with the MIL;)

debtfreenewbie

I bet she will go to sleep butifully for your mil.Kids are always better behaved with others.

iamana1ias

strawberrypud wrote: »

I have a 3 month old baby and I am starting a college course 2 nights a week next week. My MIL will be watching the 2 kids...my toddler who is easy (bed at 7pm, always been in a good routine)and the baby who is 3 months and so far has been impossible to get into a routine. All attempts to get her to bed at 7pm have been met with a very alert baby who will scream and scream. But I need to get her into a bedtime routine this week so I can go off to my course and not be totally preoccupied thinking about my poor baby all distressed back home. I want to know she is just sleeping soundly while I am out.

Not only that. I am feeling so frustrated that the baby wants/needs (?) so much attention. My poor toddler is missing out. Tonight we put her in her new big bed for the first time and I so wanted to spend time up there enjoying this important transition and having cuddles and reading her a story. Instead I was up and down trying to soothe the baby who was crying through exhaustion but will not go to sleep without rocking and dummy in and stroking etc

Please advise me. Nobody is happy

Where's dad while all of this is going on?

meritaten

sorry - but at three months you expect the baby to go to bed at a set time? not many babies do. tbh, at that age mine were still being up and cuddled by either Oh or myself and put to bed at around 10 or 11, when WE went to bed.
babies have their own timetable and while I am sorry its inconvient for YOU, perhaps MIL wont mind if the baby is in a moses basket in the living room until you get home. (lots of cuddle time - personally I would love it). after all, you wont expect her to do anything other than listen out for your toddler will you?
you sound a bit panicked about this - and the kids will pick up on this - so dont be surprised if other one starts acting up. relax - the baby will establish a routine even if its keepin MIL busy until YOU come home then sleeping until morning, after the late bottle given by you.
experience with 3 kids and 6 grandkids tells me to throw the baby books and expectations out of the door and LISTEN to what the baby wants! some are more sociable in the evening than you want - others are early birds and will wake you at sparrowfart! unfortunately, they dont consult you on this!

daveyjp

At three months our daughter wasn't put down in her cot until last feed at about 11pm. I think you are expecting a 7pm routine too soon.