Need to get baby into a routine - please help

meritaten

I believe I said that to be swaddled (and I am going on the 'definition' of swaddling - not just wrapping the baby up but swaddling actually means to restrict the childs movements), and to be put in a 'blackened' room, is to my mind horrific.
I am entitled to MY opinion! you can quote any current baby whisperers, child care experts, and uncle tom cobbley - but in MY OPINION, I think you are wrong.
and that is what this forum is about isnt it? getting others opinions?
I brought up three children without swaddling but lots of cuddles and loves and as part of family life and didnt seclude them or restrict them all night - and they have turned into lovely responsible adults. they also dont swaddle or keep their babies in the dark.
Agree to disagree here.

lloydlf

I really fail to understand why putting a baby in a darkened room is horrific? Baby has no concept of fear of darkness, in fact they've just spent nine months in darkness. There is a growing body of evidence that links night lights, exposure to light during the night to increased rates of childhood leukemia so not getting your children used to sleeping with a light source is actually beneficial to them longterm. My three year old twins happily sleep in a dark room and actually get cross if there is any light coming into their room so hardly horrific!

B2B-2008

I haven't had time to read all the posts but my little one is four months old tomorrow and we can't put him down to bed until gone 9pm and at the moment he falls asleep in his swing chair as he cries his eyes out if left in his cot to go to sleep. But I do feel that is about to change as he is now taking notice of his winnie the pooh light show and has watched that for a few nights now. I could never leave him to cry as he got himself in a right state.

He has a bath at 8.30 pm and a bottle and by 9 he is more that ready to sleep. He then goes through till about 5am when he wants another bottle which we sometimes wake him up for if he is crying for it in his sleep.

We never really put him in a set routine as I let him feed on demand but over time we have fallen into a routine that works well.

Re swaddling we have never done this and he did used to wake himself up but would fall right back to sleep. My SIL on the other hand swaddled until 5 months and she found that her son was very slow on using his arms.

fernliebee

my first DD would wake herself up with the morrow reflex, and banging her hands on the side of the moses basket. I was advised to swaddle her, and tried it once but she really didn't like it, and wanted her hands out, so I rolled up blankets and put them under the sheets, like a nest, one under her knee's and one either side that her arms would rest on. She slept soooo soundly and would go 6-8 hours from birth. DD2 will only sleep on her front but still doesn't sleep for too long.

DD2 is only 8 weeks and is starting to get her own routine (very loosely) but I'm afraid I'm the sort that prefers them to sleep later so I can sleep, ie she goes down at about 9, I spend an hour doing chores, then go to bed about 10, she will then sleep until about 1-2 then comes in with me for a feed, then sleeps til about 5 and comes in with me until about 7 just feeding. She has just started to nap longer in the daytime too so usually naps 10-12ish, and 2-4ish, with lot's of feeds in between and a few catnaps. Her feeds have never been routined. She feeds pretty much constantly while she is awake She is a very hungry baby!

bonty44

We're all entitled to voice our opinions but surely we should voice opinions that are going to be helpful and supportive to the OP? There have been quite a few comments on here that have been neither.

strawberrypud

Ok, after the previous nights success with a 9oz bottle I thought I'd cracked it but no! 1 hour after downing 9oz she was crying again, I was back to trying everything and after another hour I thought "I'll try feeding her again" so 2 hours after taking 9oz she took another 7oz then happily feel asleep in her crib! She is insatiably hungry! The milk is just not satisfying her anymore. She is only 13 weeks old, surely I don't need to think about solids yet?

The daytime routine is still a work in progress. She fell asleep at 3.45pm for a nap yesterday afternoon, by 5pm I thought I had better wake her up or she'll mix up her days and nights because she'd gone into a really deep sleep. So I woke her up at she watched us have our tea and then I bathed the girls together. She was perfectly happy until the hungry hours!

esio_trot

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/133857/1-in-4-cot-deaths-linked-to-swaddling-of-babies

http://fsid.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=779

http://www.nhs.uk/news/2009/10October/Pages/Cot-death-and-shared-beds.aspx


you run a small risk if you swaddle!! research it first, considder other methods, and only use swaddling as a last resort if all else fails IMHO.

Research by all means, but a newspaper article (even if it's not a tabloid) is not a reliable source of information. I'd consider FSID and NHS more reliable but do read the NHS one carefully. The study took into account a number of risk factors, any number of which, or combination, could have contributed to cot-death.

There has been nothing definitive to say that swaddling increases the risk of cot-death - only that more babies in the cot-death group were swaddled than in the control group which may suggest an increased risk. However, there were also more bereaved parents than in the control group who smoked in pregnancy, had premature births, had babies who were ill in some way immediately prior to their death and slept on their fronts during their last sleep - most of which are previously known indicators for increased cot-death risk.

The idea is, with everything you do with your baby, is do it carefully and properly - i.e. no heavy blankets, appropriate clothing and the correct room temperature. I do resent the implication that as a parent who swaddles their child, that I don't give my baby (to quote) " lots of cuddles and loves" - my baby is cuddled to sleep before being put down and has plenty of love, attention and affection when he is awake.

Apologies to the OP for going off topic - I hope your routine has been going well.

esio_trot

strawberrypud wrote: »

Ok, after the previous nights success with a 9oz bottle I thought I'd cracked it but no! 1 hour after downing 9oz she was crying again, I was back to trying everything and after another hour I thought "I'll try feeding her again" so 2 hours after taking 9oz she took another 7oz then happily feel asleep in her crib! She is insatiably hungry! The milk is just not satisfying her anymore. She is only 13 weeks old, surely I don't need to think about solids yet?

my LO is a bit like this at times, mostly it has been through his growth spurts (could your DD be having one?), but I notice when he stock-piles like that during the day, he tends to sleep well at night. 3 months is too young for solids I'd say - might be worth asking your HV whether she thinks hungry baby milk might be suitable for your DD.

mumslave

strawberrypud wrote: »

Ok, after the previous nights success with a 9oz bottle I thought I'd cracked it but no! 1 hour after downing 9oz she was crying again, I was back to trying everything and after another hour I thought "I'll try feeding her again" so 2 hours after taking 9oz she took another 7oz then happily feel asleep in her crib! She is insatiably hungry! The milk is just not satisfying her anymore. She is only 13 weeks old, surely I don't need to think about solids yet?

The daytime routine is still a work in progress. She fell asleep at 3.45pm for a nap yesterday afternoon, by 5pm I thought I had better wake her up or she'll mix up her days and nights because she'd gone into a really deep sleep. So I woke her up at she watched us have our tea and then I bathed the girls together. She was perfectly happy until the hungry hours!

My first was weaned at 14 weeks OP, on the advice of my doctor. She had reflux too and he told me that solid food is harder for baby to bring up and would help strengthen the weak stomach muscle.

BUT...she was my first and I was clueless. I would have held off weaning until at the very least, 4 months of age. She wasnt ready at all and the whole thing was a bit of a nightmare. I ended up with PND with all the stress of her reflux, lack of sleeping etc (this was before routine!).

Perhaps keep offering her plenty of milk for another few days, it may just be a growth spurt and then she will level out again.

pukkamum

Strawberry i think the late nap maybe what did it, i would aim to have her down for 12/12.30 for a two hour nap and then bed at 7.
If she slept so late did she miss a feed?
One of the major reasons for nighttime waking is not getting enough milk in the day.
I would stick to her normal milk make sure she has a good 7 pm feed and a 10 pm feed.