What do you think is harder - SAHM or working mum?

elisebutt65

I've been both as well until my lovely caring EX OH left me to run off with his doctor!

It's bloomin' hard being a working single mum - You have to do everything!!!!! I've been ironing until 11pm and THEN sit down to do my lesson plans for the next day.

Weekends are usually taken up with cleaning, cooking, washing and then marking - I try and set aside a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to spend with the kids and using online shopping is a real blessing as that's a few hours saved

Today I am in bliss as my kids are at my mum's all week, I'm off to Thassos with fianc!e tomorrow morning so I've spent most of the morning primping, preening, scrubbing, shaving and polishing my body, instead of the floor!

Now I'm farmvilling and foruming until I have a luxury nap in an hour or so:D

savingmummy

Person_one wrote: »

Do no working mums have partners to take on 50% of the baby care and housework?

Unfortunately not all dads/husbands are helpful.
I know of a lot of men who finish work come home and lay on the sofa to relax for the evening. Then wife comes home from picking children up then cooks, cleans and puts children to bed!!!

My father used to come home, feed and bath us put us to bed while mum had a relaxing bath (to destress from work). Then once we were in bed they used to both do the house chores that needed doing.
House chores were almost always left until a Sunday when i was small.

Routine is a must if both parents are working i feel

go_cat

I say both have it equal in a different way.

I work full time and and may be shot down for this but i couldn't cope being at home all day every day much as i love my son, i had to admit i am not a stay at home mummy

I work full time but it fulfills me mentally and the days i spend with my son fulfill me emotionally but exhausts me more than work!!!

Person_one

savingmummy wrote: »

Unfortunately not all dads/husbands are helpful.
I know of a lot of men who finish work come home and lay on the sofa to relax for the evening. Then wife comes home from picking children up then cooks, cleans and puts children to bed!!!

My father used to come home, feed and bath us put us to bed while mum had a relaxing bath (to destress from work). Then once we were in bed they used to both do the house chores that needed doing.
House chores were almost always left until a Sunday when i was small.

Routine is a must if both parents are working i feel

That's really not acceptable though, its one thing to expect a non working parent to do the bulk of the housework, its just plain lazy and entitled to think that if both of you work outside the home its only one person's job to keep on top of the domestic stuff.

I wouldn't have a child with someone who didn't do their fair share at home, or thought that moving in a girlfriend/wife meant getting a free maid service!

We have to stop putting up with this!

gratefulforhelp_2

Person_one wrote: »

Do no working mums have partners to take on 50% of the baby care and housework?

I do, and I realise I am extremely lucky because he is rare.

I've changed tack slightly, and agree, having also been a full time working single parent, that is sooo much harder.

supa-girl

I don't think either option is harder, they both have different benefits and issues. When I was working full time, I loved being a 2 income family. I had my own car, and while we weren't super rich, we weren't penny pinching either. I loved my job, the contact with grown ups and being able to talk about things other than kids. BUT I missed the kids and felt guilty about missing sorts days, assemblies...etc. When a child was ill it was a nightmare - negotitaing wih my partner about whose "turn" it was to take time off and the guilt you feel for hoping it isn't yours.....

As a sahm now we have much less money and only one car which we share. The school run is a tedious 2 hour round trip and as DP wrks long hours I do most of the housework/childcare and cooking - fair enough but tiring (we have 5 kids!). It's a constant juggling act to balalnce the books and as our children are all very young and 2 are not yet at school/nursery it's hard to get stuff done. Also I swear I can sometimes feel my brain going to mush! BUT I get to spend lots of time with the kids, I have time to bake (sonetimes ) and can go to every school event. The kids can have play dates, a home cooked meal every night and someone on hand to help with homework, spellings etc. I also get to see my friends much more, albeit at a coffee morning with kid chaos happening around our ankles!

So they are both hard, I really don't think one is more difficult it's just the challenges are different. There were times during both that I wished I was doing the other!

SG

savingmummy

Person_one wrote: »

That's really not acceptable though, its one thing to expect a non working parent to do the bulk of the housework, its just plain lazy and entitled to think that if both of you work outside the home its only one person's job to keep on top of the domestic stuff.

I wouldn't have a child with someone who didn't do their fair share at home, or thought that moving in a girlfriend/wife meant getting a free maid service!

We have to stop putting up with this!

Sadly it is very common for a partner to not do their share. I`m also sure some women expect their husbands to do this too although im not sure it is as common.

LilacPixie

I work full time. I just couldn't be a SAHM I do not have the patience. So IMO being a SAHM or SAHD is harder

bunty109

I was a SAHM mun until last year and my youngest started school full-time. I was starting to find the school run too stressful (2 sons who would never get ready on time!) but spend the rest of the day a bit bored, even though I had a PT job. So I went to work FT and got husband to do the school run in the mornings and it's great!! I do need to be organised, but he's great helping out and so are my parents...not sure I could have done it when they were younger though.

milliebear00001

Clearly depends on the woman!

I also assume you mean women who have partners who also work, or who are single parents? I work full time, but my husband doesn't work so I don't have all the home responsibilities and childcare issues that some working mothers do.

I was at home for the first five years of being a mum. It was very hard when they were tiny (boring and monotonous for me) but worth it. Easier when they are older I feel.

I am also a teacher, so I get all the holidays off with mine. For me, going to work is (usually) easier than either being a SAHM or working while my partner also works full-time.