What do you think is harder - SAHM or working mum?

mummy_Jay

I'm a working single mum, have been since my ds was 3 months old. I really don't think I's cope with being a SAHM, simply cos I don't think I could give the variaty of experiences and social skills he's learnt from being with childcare, I also don't think my time with him would be as valued or such good quality. Yes when he was little I did feel guilty as hell about not being there enough and felt like a missed out on lots, but I do feel I have set a positive role model for him as a parent.

For me being a good SAHM would be far harder than being a good mum as a working mum.

Jo_R_2

I've done all combinations of working and SAHM, single and in a couple, full-time and part-time. I think it's so hard to say which is harder, it depends on so many different parts of your circumstances.

For example, as a single working mum, I was lucky to have great support from family and a very good nursery nearby. My DDs weren't school age so I didn't have to worry about being there to drop them off or pick them up (something I had always wanted to be able to do, at least one if not both.)

I am currently a SAHM with three kids, one on the way, second oldest will be starting school in September. I have found it hard, mainly because I see being a SAH parent as a 'role', not just to usher the kids around and get housework done but like a job I suppose, to help educate and stimulate the children, and I've always worried I'm doing it well enough, or doing enough at all.

One thing that does come up particularly at the mo, is that if I'm ill, I don't have respite unless I arrange it. I always knew if I was unlucky enough to be ill whilst working and had to take a day off, that DDs would be either being cared for at nursery or by family, so I could have some time at home by myself to recover. If I'm ill now then it's that old cliche of soldiering on through which is really hard when all you want to do is go to bed and sleep it off!