What do you think is harder - SAHM or working mum?

balletshoes

I'm a working mum of one (and was a single working mum-of-one until my DD was 2 years old). I think being a SAHM is harder - mostly because of the perception that if you're a SAHM you've no excuse to have an untidy house/child or to have anything but home-cooked food!
Seriously - the hardest thing I found for me when I was on maternity leave was that I was out of the loop with all my friends and colleagues, I really missed that work routine, topics of conversation other than babies and children etc. I never made much of an effort at mums and babies etc because I knew I'd not see any of them again once I went back to work.

Even if I did have the opportunity to be a SAHM, I'd have to do something, volunteering or something, outside of the house for at least a couple of hours each day - I honestly get stir-crazy if I have nothing planned and am at home all weekend.

I do agree that it depends on your job too - I have a job which generally involves little stress and little need for working "after hours" so to speak. I go in, do a days work, come home. I am also usually able to take time off for sports day, assemby etc with no problem, and obviously this helps a lot when you have kids.

Fang_3

I'd say working mothers, though you wouldn't think about it with the amount of shouting the SAHMs do.

*Louise*

I think working mums have it harder - I woudl hate the thought of coming home after a day at work then starting cooking, helping with homework, washing etc.

Mind you, if I had a partner who didn't help out with 50% of the housework he would soon have a difficult life!!

I always wonder how Working mums manage with all the day to day stuff - dentist, doctor, opticians appointments - immunisations, kids off sick, school concerts, events etc etc - it seems impossible:eek:

I am a SAHM (Kids 3,5 & 10)and do volunteer works couple of evenings a week/some weekends away - even fitting that round family life can be difficult sometimes.

janninew

I would say working mums have it harder, surely they can have twice as much work to do as SAHM? They are holding down a job and raising children. I've done both and found working to be tough and very demanding, trying to keep everybody happy is very difficult and a constant juggling act.

Its about finding a balance if possible, I work part time and help my DH's business, so I feel like I have the best of both worlds!

Rainey_LB

IT' ALL ABOUT CHOICE!!

Working Mum is harder IMO.... you have to do everything a SAHM does plus work!!!

I was a SAHM when my children were small, it can be draining and repetitive at times, but most of the time very rewarding and I wouldn't of swapped a minute of it.

If you are a SAHM you also have choice, you can choose to stay home everyday, you can choose to go to the park, to toddler group, shopping, to visit friends, to take a course or you can choose to get a job if you think thats right for you.

Unfortunately our circumstances changed and I had to return to work, I didn't have that choice to stay at home anymore, I think sometimes that is the hardest part.

My OH does help with housework and the childcare is very equal, but I am far more tired and stressed now than when I was a SAHM, plus there is also things like last year when my son had to have an operation and need to have 3 weeks off school, my employer wasn't very sympathetic, he may need another this year so my husband has had to save up his annual leave just in case. I try and arrange eye tests, dental appts etc after school & work hours but its not always possible, all this just adds to the stress. I missed sports day this year and most of the assesemblies which is also difficult for me and for the children.

gratefulforhelp_2

jannine you haven't seen the state of my house!! If I was a SAHM I would feel honour bound to do better at cleaning/organising it and feel less confident about roping in DH to help.

thatgirlsam

*Louise* wrote: »

I think working mums have it harder - I woudl hate the thought of coming home after a day at work then starting cooking, helping with homework, washing etc.

Mind you, if I had a partner who didn't help out with 50% of the housework he would soon have a difficult life!!

I always wonder how Working mums manage with all the day to day stuff - dentist, doctor, opticians appointments - immunisations, kids off sick, school concerts, events etc etc - it seems impossible:eek:

I am a SAHM and do volunteer works couple of evenings a week/some weekends away - even fitting that round family life can be difficult sometimes.

i would struggle if i didn't work shifts.. i am lucky as we self rosta ( or is that roster) at work which means i can put a red cross through the day i don't want to work and have that as one of my days off

our week is sunday to sunday, i work 4 shifts a week so have 3 days off, which i can have at the weekends or during the week

Threebabes

Ive worked fulltime and part time since having kids. Ive not worked for the last 4 year though. I would say when I worked I was a lot more organised but being a SAHM is easier. Instead of having chores to do on a weekend I do them during the week when the kids are at school, so we have more family time on a weekend. Hubby has a busy stressful job so it takes the pressure of knowing Im home to sort out kids/house and attend any school/doc/dentist appointments. I do plan to go back to work when my youngest is older.Have loved the summer hols with them as well spending all that time with them.

Tigsteroonie

Tomorrow is my last day as a SAHM. On Monday I become a Working Mom, after 18m out of the workplace.

I am lucky in that Marley is going to become the SAHD

My expectations are that he will obviously take the main role in childcare, particularly taking Andrew to his numerous medical appts, and he has also said that he'll organise the evening meal (though I wait to see this!). Whilst Andrew is so small and needs almost constant supervision, I don't expect him to cope with cleaning, gardening or such stuff while I am out - we can share this in the evenings & weekends (I clean, he gardens).

pigpen

I don't think either is harder.. they are just both very difficult in different ways..