Wife wont stop spending !!!

pinkshoes

Tell her that she can either cut her cards up and not use them any more (and you'll give her an allowence for the essentials), or she can find a job that pays £X a week to cover the credit card repayments, as you're now broke.

lynzpower

From one of Pauls previous posts, ( regarding the cost of food shopping) he says they both work full time.

bitemebankers

In all fairness, cutting up the cards etc. won't cure the problem and might just cause unnecessary resentment. I'm not one for "big" gestures like that, but the OP certainly has a major problem on his hands. £20k of credit card debit is bad, but a partner with an out-of-control spending addiction is a huge problem and one which may not only destroy the partner's life, but the OP's along with it.

Starting this thread is good first step, but the OP has to take action now.

honeyD

My Uncle and his girlfriend used to have this problem. She took care of the money and ran up debts, he took over the money and got the debt to £0, she took over the money and ran up debts, he took over the money and got the debt to £0.. I think you can see where this is going lol!

sassy_one

Women love shopping.

My wife loves too! - Although, within reason/budget!

diable

Make her your ex.

property.advert

diable wrote: »

Make her your ex.

That is the most likely outcome if she won't stop and he has the gumption to ditch her rather than struggle on as the weighs him down before he eventually drowns. She should be told now that this is a possibility, after he has cut off all her access to funds.

mrbadexample

You pick the clothes up. You take them back to the store for a refund (don't make her do it, that's not necessary).

You quietly explain that you have to take them back, because otherwise you won't be eating next week (or taxing / insuring the car, paying the gas bill or whatever else is due next).

Or if you really need to take some drastic action, cancel the holiday. "I'm sorry darling, but you spent the holiday money on clothes. You can have one or the other, but not both."

Somehow, you have to get the message across that no matter how much she likes something, she can't spend what you don't have. Hopefully, you won't have to take stuff back more than once.

floss2

mspig wrote: »

It really gets me how many people are saying to do things that is like treating his wife like his child.......Also giving her an allowance is another daft idea - is she a child getting pocket money each week??, she is a grown woman and i'm afraid that whilst shes earning her own money more that talk to her about it theres not too much more you can do about the situation.......

But she isn't exactly behaving like a responsible grown-up by spending like this, is she?!

[quote=[Deleted User];35847147]I think thats the problem. It goes on the credit card never to be seen again. I'm left to sort it all out then.

No I spend hardly anything. In fact, I feel that I miss out on things because I've got to compensate for the fact that shes spent so much.[/QUOTE]

Why not "misplace" your credit cards / wallet and then report your cards as stolen.......if she cannot spend on the cards, it will at least temporarily stop the shopping while you sort out a realistic budget and show her exactly what the debt situation is.

bouncydog1

Just picked up on this thread - quite frankly your wife needs to learn a hard lesson and start behaving like an adult. You seem to be simmering away about this without actually telling her what the truth of the matter is. She needs to see the £20k debt in black and white.

Paying that off will mean more money in your pockets for both of you to enjoy and you have to get through to her that her spending has to stop - cancel the holiday later in the year - that might be the shock she needs. Tell her that you are going to have trouble making the card repayments and make her take responsibility for contributing to the debt.

She clearly believes that she can just spend spend spend - make a fuss and have a row if necessary because things are not going to magically improve - what happens if one of you loses your job?

No messing about here - your wife needs to wake up and sooner rather than later!