Wife wont stop spending !!!

[Deleted User]

deleted post

Person_one

I have a feeling your numbers are wrong, do you mean 200 or 2000 on the credit card? 30 or 300 on clothes?

iamana1ias

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/2670541]I'm sure I've been on here about this before...

Anyway, £20 in debt on credit cards. Fortunately, all on low rate and due to our income we can afford to pay the monthly minimum.[/QUOTE]

Minimum payments must be about 10p a month.............



[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/2670541]Suggestions?

Dont know what to do[/QUOTE]

Go through her wardrobe. I guarantee there will be clothes hanging there that still have their labels on. Make her sell them for starters. While she's eBaying them, you work out and post your SOA. You can then use the snowball calculator to show how much your debt is costing and how much better off you'd be if debt free. Could equal an extra holiday every year.

And take her cards away from her. The freezer is a good place to hide them.

lynzpower

I think this is more a relationship issue than a financial issue, she isnt listening to your concerns,taking them seriously, respecting your input. Does she work?

Im wondering whether relate might be a good place to air these differences? Have you considered this? Are there any other areas of your relationship where you feel unheard? Does she feel unheard too? Relate might be a good space to get your differences aired in a "safe place" where you can both be heard. I sense this is more about communication than pure money. You have different values, or not singing from the same hymn sheet.

Has this been going on for long?

lauren_1

£20k perhaps?

Cut the credit cards up

RAS

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/2670541]We're consistently spending more than we earn each month. Shes always after some new item of clothes or shoes every week. She thinks nothing of going in and spending £30 in a blink of an eye.

Thing is I've always sorted out all the money for us. She seems to spend it and then forget about it.

I've tried talking to her. The other day we had a talk about it and I mentioned we need to save for holiday coming up a few weeks.

Today she went shopping and spend another £30 on clothes she doesn't need !!!!!!!

[/QUOTE]


Start by insisting that she return her new clothes to the supplier. There may also be other stuff in her wardrobe that could go back.

Then sit down, go through the family budget with her and allocate a small amount of spending money to yourself and her each month. You both have your own basic bankl accounts and cards, with your allowance paid in each month. Agree that this covers clothing, books, hobbies, magazines, lunches, coffee with friends and ents other than joint events.Once it is gone tough luck until next month.

Regarding things like holidays,Chrsitmas and birthdays open an ISA and put the spending money in there every month, so that it is not sitting temptingly in the joint account. Unless she stops personal spending on the joint account, she loses the cards.

Mupette

take her cards away chop them up, and give her an allowance each week

kafkathecat

Mupette wrote: »

take her cards away chop them up, and give her an allowance each week

Er, didn't that happen on another thread only for it to be seen as abuse by many?

Kimberley82

kafkathecat wrote: »

Er, didn't that happen on another thread only for it to be seen as abuse by many?

I was just thinking that, infact if the poster had been new I would have assumed it was the husband of the other poster.

pinkclouds

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/2670541]Thing is I've always sorted out all the money for us. She seems to spend it and then forget about it.[/QUOTE]
She doesn't see the figures so it's meaningless to her. Draw up a budget statement so she can see it in black and white and explain the incomings and outgoings. Agree with her how much is available for frivolous spends and agree not to go over that amount. If she's more of a visual person, ask her to switch to cash instead of cards. Some people find it easier to recognise how much they are spending when it's physical cash coming out of their wallet/purse instead of a credit card. If she is super into fashion and new clothes, two really good ideas are: start a sewing hobby and, for every new item of clothing, ebay an old item of clothing. It will re-coup/off-set part of the cost and also if she's busy customising her existing clothes (or actually sewing new ones) then that's time spent at home instead of the shops. If part of your income is due to overtime, then you could also hint that less spends equals less need for overtime and more family time.

However, you have to do this in a nice, tactful way.

Btw, I assume you aren't spending hugely yourself?

property.advert

If you are in control of the money then how on earth has this problem arisen ?

Simply, she is in control and you just go along with it until crunch time. Get a grip man and cut off her addiction.