Son's girlfriend moving in

kazwookie

Packing bags to move in, there will be 2 of us plus one cat, free food, washing, elect, gas , water.........................

I would be charging your son and the gf as well, or they will be walking all over you.....................all that extra work..........

Greener_Grass

consultant31 wrote: »

What does this (in red above) mean?

Its what scottish people call shopping

katsclaws

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's good to get so many different viewpoints.
They just want to be together. His girlfriend has a family home she can always go back to.
Not charging our children rent etc is a personal decision. Both our children were away at university for three years and coped well financially. My parents have always been very generous to me so I would like to do the same. When our son is back at university he will only have a very small income from weekend work. His girlfriend is a student.
I like the idea of charging a nominal rent and saving it for them.
We are still thinking about whether her moving in is a good idea or not but she is a lovely girl, very easy going.
As serious saver says it is very difficult for young people to save these days. At the age of 24 we had bought a flat in London and my husband was a student at the time. My parents paid the deposit and we have never forgotten it.
Once again, thank you for all the replies.

katsclaws

Pollycat

katsclaws wrote: »

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's good to get so many different viewpoints.
They just want to be together. His girlfriend has a family home she can always go back to.
Not charging our children rent etc is a personal decision. Both our children were away at university for three years and coped well financially. My parents have always been very generous to me so I would like to do the same. When our son is back at university he will only have a very small income from weekend work. His girlfriend is a student.
I like the idea of charging a nominal rent and saving it for them.
We are still thinking about whether her moving in is a good idea or not but she is a lovely girl, very easy going.
As serious saver says it is very difficult for young people to save these days. At the age of 24 we had bought a flat in London and my husband was a student at the time. My parents paid the deposit and we have never forgotten it.
Once again, thank you for all the replies.

katsclaws

But will you still think this when she's been hogging the bathroom for an hour and everybody else is desperate to get ready for work?

How far away do her parents live from you?

What does your other child think of this proposed arrangement? I'm assuming he/she still lives at home as you say:

We do not charge either of our children anything for living here.

Do you have room for his/her partner when they want to move into yours together?
If not, that may cause friction as it will probably be seen as unfair.

katsclaws

Hello pollycat, thanks for your reply.
We have two bathrooms and a downstairs cloakroom so it shouldn't be a problem.
Her parents are about four miles away. Our daughter manages to save about £1000 per month so should be buying her own house soon. Her boyfriend has his own house.

katsclaws

newcook

Is the gf going to still live with you when son goes back to uni? Or is son going to travel from home to uni everyday?

If she is moving back home when DS goes back to uni, can they not just carry on as they are at the moment – otherwise its going to be a lot of to-ing and fro-ing over the next few months!

katsclaws

Hello newcook, thanks for your reply.
He's going to be commuting every day.

katsclaws

Apricot

If you dont want to charge them rent then of course it is your decision (although I do think the idea of saving it for them and giving it back would be a lovely suprise) you should establish some sort of ground rules. Are you going to be doing all of the gf's washing and ironing etc? It would maybe be an idea that you have a list of chores that will be done by everyone living there, that way she is not being treated as a guest but an equal family member.

katsclaws

Hello Princess Leah, thanks for your reply. They will do their own washing, ironing and cooking.

katsclaws

Penny-Pincher!!

The OP didnt ask about views on charging rent!....that is their choice and we dont know all the situation.

Anyway, she would have no legal rights, but I would agree to buy a rent book/contract and charge a nominal monthly amount to confirm that she is just a lodger etc.

TBH and if it was me with my child, I think also that 6 months isnt a long time to know each other enough to move in together. Questions I would be asking myself are:

How well do I know her?
What is her background story?
Criminal record?
How well does your son know her?
Is she working or will she be laying around the house all day?
What are her moods like as you will have to live with her also?
What about food costs and living expenses-can we afford it?
Is she messy and will she help around the home?

Lots more questions but you get the gist!

PP
xx