Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew

Oh Eager I wish you could see! I did that classic thing of emptying everything onto the floor in order to sort it out and now everything is just on the floor! And the kids are back early in the morning. Whoops! I've lost the energy and motivation to sort it now. Heart is a bit heavy. Oh well, I have a dvd on loan and beer in the fridge so will perhaps I will rest for a while and hope the inspiration and foresight will grab me very soon.

I'm really hoping that a little good karma would come my way to.

R x

jellybean39

RubySewSew wrote: »

Deep breath... I have a letter from my solicitor asking for £500 on account. I have a letter from the exes solicitor cutting maintenance payments by £240 with immediate effect. I do not know what on earth to do.

I would tell them if he not goint to come up with what you expect to be acceptable you will go through the csa. if he is earning good money he will get hammered and he would be better doing a private agreement than that. it happened to my ex wouldnt pay and they caught up with him and he suddenly decided our agreement was better lol wasnt for my kids but at least it was regular.
Keep your chin up girl it will all work out in the end just keep at it xxxxx

Eager_Elephant

RubySewSew wrote: »

Oh Eager I wish you could see! I did that classic thing of emptying everything onto the floor in order to sort it out and now everything is just on the floor! And the kids are back early in the morning. Whoops! I've lost the energy and motivation to sort it now. Heart is a bit heavy. Oh well, I have a dvd on loan and beer in the fridge so will perhaps I will rest for a while and hope the inspiration and foresight will grab me very soon.

I'm really hoping that a little good karma would come my way to.

R x

I know how you feel Ruby, I decided to tackle the bedroom last week and for most of the day it looked worse than it did before the great tidy up :eek:

In the end I got so fed up I chucked loads of stuff :eek: but my goodness the bedroom looks amazing now :T

Hope the dvd was good.

EE

RubySewSew

I might be at the chucking out stage

Jellybean, thank you for kind words. Unfortunately, he is threatening to go to CSA because he knows full well that he would have to pay less not more. This is because he has had another child and has 2 other children living with him. The CSA also fails to take into account that I work part time to stay at home and look after the children - under CSA rules he only has to pay for the nights that the kids stay with me. In their best interests we decided to share custody but I provide all the childcare. On paper we have shared custody and equal responsibility. In reality that couldn't be further from the truth.

Mags, nice to see you.

I've just posted an ad for one of our chickens. Realised a few mornings ago that one of the babies is a cockerel. Beautiful little bantam but far too noisy at 4am!

Boys arrived home this morning and I asked them to tidy their rooms so that we could go swimming. They have spent the last 4 hours screaming at each other and the bedrooms are no closer to being tidied. Nothing works! I've tried threatening, I've tried rewarding, I've tried helping, I've tried doing it for them. It doesn't make any difference. Their bedrooms are so well organised and looked after by me but they just trash them and don't take any responsibility for their own things. At the end of my tether. It's not helping that their disinterest is reflecting my own ambivalence at finishing sorting out the mess that I have created. I just want to sleep or eat cake! Or both!

RubySewSew

Front room still not tidy... Hiding in the kitchen making salt dough.

Recipe for anyone else with bored children at home.

2 cups of plain flour
1 cup of salt
1 cup of water
1 tbsp of veg oil

mix dry ingredients, add oil. Slowly add water, stirring with fork until you get a dough. Knead for 10 minutes and then rest for 20 minutes.

Tada!

RubySewSew

Please remind me that takeout pizza is not a good idea just because I am in a bad mood...

Eager_Elephant

RubySewSew wrote: »

Please remind me that takeout pizza is not a good idea just because I am in a bad mood...

Takeout pizza is not a good idea just because you are in a bad mood

If you really need pizza then could you make a home made one so it is healthy and does not affect the diet plus remember you need the money :rotfl:

Not sure what the answer is with the children, my two are 6 years apart so are at different stages of discipline. My son will do literally anything to stop his xbox being confiscated :rotfl: and my DD who is only 8 is a bit of a madam but she will help tidy her room and likes to hoover.
When they didn't tidy their room did they still get to go swimming or have a treat because if they did then they don't have any need to tidy the room. I think if you do it all the time then they know that they don't need to tidy it because you will do it.
I appreciate though that it is harder when you have more children closer in age as it can turn in to mass warfare!!!

EE

RubySewSew

We didn't go swimming And I didn't have pizza. I made homemade pizza last week and the kids told me it was soggy and horrible! It really wasn't but they really don't like homemade pizza. I was due to meet a friend for a drink on Thursday but she's going to shout for pizza at hers instead. Yay!

I just had a look online to find the massage course I want to do. Fees are £1880 for the year - any ideas about how to fund this or is it something I just have to wait for?

chevalier

Hmm tricky that one. I think your children are old enough to be sat down and told the fact of life. That you don't have any money. Part of the reason for that is so that you can be there for them. Therefore for the time being, they will have to lump things like home made pizza and not doing things, because keeping a roof over their heads, keeping them warm and clothed are more important. If they can't help you around the house then that is fine, but they will be losing things they like to do. And the less they do the less they will have. So start with favourite toys, clothes etc. If they really keep it up then you can go the hard route which is leaving them with just a mattress and a bear room. You don't need the stress at the moment. Could they also be reacting to your OH telling them rotten things about you because of the divorce? Ie if mummy had stayed with me then we would all have lots of lovely things and it would all be fine, but because she is selfish, then things are horrible?

As for the course does the local college do hardship grants? Could you do the course through the Open University somehow as I Know you can get grants off them if you are low paid towards courses? I would also point out to your ex that cutting the maintenance only hurts the children, and how could he do that when he must love them doesn't he?

sorry to not be more positive it sounds like a pants situation to be in.

chev

Eager_Elephant

That course is quite a cost isn't it - could try the Turn2us website as they list charities which offer grants to different people?

I know you said before that one or more of your children has learning difficulties, do they get DLA? If they do some of the carer organisations will offer grants also.

If you/the kids really need a pizza but you can't afford/they haven't been good then the Asda pizzas which they make instore are absolutely lovely and you can have whatever toppings you like - the prices are also very reasonable.

EE