Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew

Lol Cheery! If I drank that much tea I would never stop weeing!

The tricky thing is with the boyfriend is that he doesn't live with us. It makes boundaries and expectations and responsibilities a bit fuzzy. I'm kind of thrashing it out in my head as I write. And there are no easy answers. Essentially, I'm a single parent in a relationship with a non-parent. Hmmmm....

I will take on board everything you've suggested Cheery. I have to work tomorrow evening but I will schedule in an hour or two on the sofa watching a Christmas film

Will have a last pre-Christmas ebay burst as well. Declutter a bit and raise some pennies. I'll regret that come Monday and posting day!

Cheery_Daff

Ah, didn't realise that Ruby, sorry Must make it difficult - perhaps you at least need to instill that he doesn't leave the place any worse than it was when he got there! Hmm.

Hooray for scheduling in time for a Christmassy film :T :T

And you've reminded me - we've got a big load of books to go on Amazon - I'll start weighing and putting them on tonight, only a couple of weeks before Christmas :T

Have a cosy day today xx

Karmacat

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

Ah, didn't realise that Ruby, sorry Must make it difficult - perhaps you at least need to instill that he doesn't leave the place any worse than it was when he got there! Hmm.

This sounds fair!

Ruby, hugs from me too - a duvet day sounds exactly what you need. Cheery's right about it not mattering what work thinks of you, you've handed in your notice, who cares what they think? Your kids sound really ill with something they've picked up, and thats that.

I like the sound of your scheduling sofa time - I'm bad at scheduling time outside the house, so I know how difficult it is....

((((((((((Ruby))))))))))))

RubySewSew

DS1 is so poorly! He's being really clingy which never happens. Ever! The other 2 are typically fine and argumentative but nonetheless glad we're all at home - no school runs, just a straight day to get sorted out. And my goodness, it is going to take a whole day. Have had a lie in, cup of tea and a mincemeat muffin (which are yummy btw, I just adapted Nigella's jam doughnut muffin recipe). I want to get in the bath but DS1 being a bit needy so need to get my timing right.

Postman just dropped off a big parcel of new clothes ordered from Tesco with doubled up vouchers. Hoorah! Now there is an incentive to get dressed! I slept well last night in clean sheets but still feel like I could sleep for England. Possibly Scotland and Wales to.

Now DS3 is declaring himself in need of a sick bucket. Oh man! Not convinced I'm going to get anything done today! Right, I'm going to try and get in the bath then timer and kitchen, timer and front room, timer and bathroom. Wish me luck - I'm going in!

Mags30

Glad you're feeling a little better and hope the children recover soon. The cold weather has made lots of people sick unfortunately.

Re the boyfriend: I know I've posted a few times that he seems nice. He brought you breakfast in bed, flowers and the paper the morning you were getting ready for the Christmas market. That was him being supportive by doing something nice for you. Did he leave the heating on all day because he's not familiar with how such things work in your house, where the switches are, etc. He might have assumed it was on a timer. He buys you lunch too sometimes so that is him being supportive of the money problems.

He possibly has no idea why you're annoyed with him, men never seem to get the message like that. I think you need to do what @cheery said and give him specific tasks. "It would really help me if you could do the washing up". I don't think it matters too much that he doesn't live there, he can still do some housework if he wants to help. From spending time with you he must understand that your life as a parent is busier than his. If he's there anyway it's not unreasonable to ask him to do some housework. But not all the time, you don't want him to feel like your cleaner.

RubySewSew

Still waiting for my Tesco delivery - grrrrr! 30 minutes late so far and I have to got to work in half an hour. And DS3 needs a nappy!

The boyfriend is lovely and generous. He does a lot of very thoughtful things a lot of the time. He can be very helpful and he does look after me often. That's why I always feel so unreasonable when he upsets me. It's just that he is willing to look after me but when it comes to the kids, the house or the animals he just leaves me to my own devices. We've been together for over 3 years and he knows this upsets me. He left the heating on by mistake, he just forgot. He knows his way around the house and how everything works. It's just a difference in attitude - I worry about things like leaving the heating on because I can't afford it - it wouldn't occur to him because not only can he afford it but he doesn't have to pay for it. Same with the attitude to washing up and cleaning - he sees the weekends as a time to relax not to clean. In some respects this balances out my tendency to overwork but other times it means that I'm still cleaning up after Sunday lunch on Tuesday. It's just a typically boy thing I think. I know my sister has nearly left her husband for the same thing.

Anyway, I have reorganised the kitchen cupboards, got 3 loads of washing done, cleaned out the guinea pigs and moved their hutch into the kitchen so they're warm, mopped the kitchen floor and done all of the washing up (except a few plates from dinner). And sat down for most of Santa Claus The Movie. DS1 is going to go to his Dad's tomorrow morning so I can go to work. Will get some more cleaning done tomorrow afternoon. Off to work in a bit and then home for an early night.

It's too cold to go out really - I want to snuggle up in front of a film!

RubySewSew

You wouldn't believe it! Tesco shopping was an hour and 20 minutes late. And because I had already left for work they wouldn't deliver it because my babysitter was under 18. So I was late for work, have no shopping, no hope of it being delivered until the 9th at the earliest and don't have nappies, milk for the morning or cat food. Poor DS3 just woke up soaked through to the skin and managed to wet not only the bed but all over the carpet as well! Poor little thing. And it's only 10.30 - he'll wet at least twice more tonight.

Forgot to tell you, we had boiled egg and soldiers for lunch. From our chickens!! Beautiful eggs - even the boys ate them and they don't like eggs. What good girls I've got!

Cheery_Daff

Absolutely outrageous Ruby! I hope you've complained to Tesco! How can they possibly justify not bringing you your shopping! :mad: You NEED it tomorrow! Pah! Have you got a friend you can pinch a few nappies etc from?

RubySewSew

Feeling lighter and brighter. Although the boys have got chip shop chips for tea and its killing meeee!!

Tesco due to redeliver tonight, finished my hellish week of work, had my exit interview and bought my Christmas tree! Hoorah! I've worked every day and every night this week and am so glad the week has finished! And my sister is coming with my niece and nephew! Whoopee!

DS1 just let me finish his chips

Have the last Christmas fayre tomorrow and keeping everything crossed for a nice juicy profit. It should be a nice day as well, the boys can come and can have a nice day out. Have planned to spend a day making Christmas decorations with my sister and might list a few extra bits on ebay to.

I went to visit the new school yesterday and meet the little boy I'll be working with. That all seemed to go well. Have to fill in application form and go in for an interview.

Right, chips in tummy, will make a quick cup of tea then have a quick clean and clear down so I can put up my tree! Woohoo!!!

RubySewSew

Argh! Have just sent the boyfriend to rescue my sister who has broken down on the way here! Eep! She has even less money than me this weekend so not sure how we're going to fix that. Maybe she'll just have to stay with me forever.

1 bedroom tidied, cleaned and hoovered with guest beds made, 1 glass of wine drunk, 2nd bedroom hoovered (not tidied), landing half hoovered & half tidied, 3rd bedroom about to be firebombed and guest bed made, 2nd glass of wine poured. Oooh, and Christmas tree in the house ready to be put up! Whoop! Whoop! Happy Friday!