MSE Pregnancy Club 19

rach

Thanks Lilac,

Basically I am so scared of so many things....

what if my pelvis is the wrong shape like my mum's was? (she had x ray and knew she couldn't give birth naturally, they don't do x rays now)
what if the baby gets stuff like my SiL's did recently and they have to manipulate my pelvis (no no with both the SPD and my hip issues)
also am petrified I'll tear badly
what if my hip problem i was born with causes a problem or is made worse by it...our only real pastime is walking..?
my friend lost pints of blood after c-section
my sister almost died and got liver failure (she had hellp syndrome)
I think I have a very low pain threshold, was crying in bed for half an hour yesterday morning as hips were hurting, trapped wind makes me scream!
am also petrified cord will be round the neck and the baby won't make it

So lots of worries. Probably unjustified but I just know so many people who have had problems, and as I say I hate uncertainty!!!

Gena wrote: »

Rach - have you been to any antenatal classes? I've found that getting more information about the process through the class and through reading has helped to make me feel better about the birth part.

Not yet, can't face going, i know it's stupid! I've read some stuff and need to force myself to read more and to go to the hospital classes, I can't even bring myself to look at when they are yet. It's ridiculous as I'm 35 weeks now and as my mum said I need to sort it sooner not later!

BudgetBlonde

Rach, I think you need to talk this all over with your mw (or someone). There's a fine line between arming yourself with info and scaring the bejesus out of yourself. Yes, things can go wrong but you can't possibly worry about them all you will literally drive yourself mad. Also, you don't really have a choice but to get the baby out now

Congrats to the new mummies! Exciting stuff I love seeing new baby stories.

LilacPixie

Of course your worries are justified, don't ever belittle yourself and think your concerns don't matter.

I was born with clicking hips and had SPD with them all. I won't pretend i'm 100% fit because I do get some pain when walking 5+miles and some clicking but in general it's ok. My hospital has physio's availible for post birth, make sure you request one.
You know the signs of HELLP, you will be extra vigilant, itching etc always call the labour suite.
Blood loss is common, I had PPH's with both, it will make the first few weeks feel awful and you will be so exhausted but it passes.
Labour pains are different I know it sounds cliche but they are. I cannot get my legs waxed yet had 2 8lb+ babies with only G&A.
Babies are squirmy little things and cords around neck is also common but the cord is huge, baby can be put on your chest with the cord going from its belly button into your bits and the placenta, as the head crowns the MW will use her fingers to check for the cord, if it is around the neck you will be asked to pant alot while they slip it over, if needed they will just snip it then and there.
tearing wise I have never done it but there is massages you can do before labour to make the skin more supple, have a google and see how it goes, Hopefully it will make you feel confident you are minimising the risks.

Really rach its just the uncertainty, I have every confidence you will be fine (your due the day after my oldest turns 4).

rach

Thanks Lilac, I know I need to just give myself a good talking to and talk to the MW, who is great. My hips were rather more than clicky, was born without the joint I think (CDH) and was on traction then frog plaster but having said that they are ok now (apart from at the moment) and x ray can't tell which one was done!

I am going out to pub now so don't worry if I'm not on tonight, I just need to chat it through I know. I do welcome any advice from all you lovely ladies.

I think the bottom line is I'm a control freak!!

LilacPixie

hehe Rach welcome to the club.

tigtag02

sir monster - many many congratulations, hope he is out of the SCBU very soon

rach - all your worries are normal although I do agree with your mum and others that you should speak to your MW. This is number three for me which I suppose should make me "old hat" but I have pretty irational worries about being cut (both episiotomy & c section) and going overdue along with the whole "will baby be ok" worries!! I honestly think I have been more worried this time that the other two even though we know from 18 weeks that DD2 would be a "poorly baby".

I hope that makes sense, I suppose what I am trying to say is that your totally normal and dont worry about your meltdown, take advantage of the support you have and it will be all gravy baby

BudgetBlonde

rach wrote: »

I think the bottom line is I'm a control freak!!

You're certainly not the only one! The hardest part (I think) of the whole process is how little control you get to have over your body and the baby growing in it.
I keep saying if someone could just tell me "you'll go into labour on this date and have x many contractions and it will all take y hours" I would be fine, it's as others have said that the not knowing what is going to happen that's the hard bit.
And that's why you need to find out - if this happens what will we do ... but to a certain extent you just have to try to go with the flow which I know is near impossible to do!

You should try focusing on what comes after all that when you have your beautiful baby in your arms and I'm sure you'll already have forgotten any trauma (not sure if I'm trying to convince me or you :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)

LilacPixie

BB is right, you do forget because I honestly cannot remember labour hurting. I remember lots about it like my OH watching moto gp on the bloody TV. I am lucky I have a MW in the family so she just tells me to get a grip if i'm being irrational.

My latest fear is i was feeling the odd flutter but then last monday I was constipated and there was some bright red blood, TMI but i have no idea what hole it came from but i wiped myself up and there was no more so I thought it must be piles or a poppe blood vessel in my butt. since then nothing, not one thing no brown spotting or any blood when having a poop but I have not felt any flutters. Now i'm not 16 weeks until tuesday so chances were the flutters was wind because of the constipation but i still think OMFG what if something has happened.

I have a doppler and I keep wanting to try it but I have no gel left and i'm scared to try it incase I can't find a HB.

dreambirdie

Rach im really worried aswell/ with me its defiantely because im a control freak. im the kind of person that has to plan ahead and know every little detail. and i hate the fact that i dont know whats going to happen etc then a few weeks ago, was in the middle of offloading to a friend, she stopped me and said "that baby is coming out no matter whether its from your foof or a section. there is no point in worrying about it because no-one knows when,how or what will happen. chill out and go with the flow" easier said than done i know but it has helped me a bit. so now im trying not to waste anymore time worrying, because thats excactly what i was doing keeping myself awake at night etc. no one is every going to be able to tell me what will happen etc. so i have no choice but to stop worrying because there really is no point its not going to change anything

i defiantely agree with the others about speaking to your midwife. i found that the antenatal classes helped me a bit. especially the bit about what they do if things dont go to plan.. forceps, ventouse, section etc.

Bunny

Rach although I don't know that many people where things haven't gone smoothly. I feel the same, it's the fear of the unknown and the lack of control over everything, another element of it for me, is although my hubby is brilliant at supporting me and my mum will be near by, I can have painkillers and the midwives will be there at the the end of the day it's down to me, to push this baby out.
That thought does scare me quite a lot, but I just think it's generally 24 hours out of a life time, how many women do this each day with no problems and for how long have we been doing this.
At least at the end of this pain we'll have something to show for it.