Innocent but named as third party in divorce

lucylucky

"possibly naming me as the third party."

" I was potentially going to be named"

So you haven't been named in any action and may not be.

Nothing for you to do at this stage. Why are even considering it?

Who knows someone may be winding you up.

t_a_2

Hi One Hot Minute
There have been so many rumours about me and colleagues at that place. It was all very weird. And nothing ever happened. There was a rumour about me and one colleague (who is engaged) last year. It incenses me that this rumour mongers are trying to break up relationships based on absolutely nothing. And now it's affected someone else and their marriage is on the line. So if it did get out, people will actually think it was me based on previous rumours (I've not had a 'partner' for a year next month, so it's not like I was promiscuous outside of the office).
I am still friends with a lot of people from that company, and I really don't want a reputation as a marriage wrecker, so I think your advice is spot on.
Many thanks
Terri

t_a_2

Hi One Hot Minute
He probably hasn't helped himself as he was Mr Innuendo at times. The 'photo night' in question, he had actually really annoyed me with some kind of comment, but I can't remember what it was. I really avoided him after that until I left.

Lucy Lucky
It's not that I have been named yet, no. It's the fact that this is a married man with young children. This could all be avoided

Thanks
Terri

pigpen

It is up to him to refuse the divorce petition based on the fact what she is saying is untrue.. she would have to provide proof then.. He can deny it.. put in a counter petition for unreasonable behaviour.. such as being accused of affairs he is not having!

I found it easier to go for unreasonable behaviour.. it is quicker apparently!

paddy's_mum

You don't have to worry about any of it, then. If you are unable to contact her directly, to deliver your protest and denial, just wait. She cannot just whack a divorce petition naming you into court, and the judge says Terri, pay Mrs Blank's £1500 divorce costs. Suppose she thinks that he's had three affairs. Is the judge going to say "I order Terri and these two other unknown women to share the costs of Mrs Blank's legal costs"? Honestly, it just doesn't work like that!

I'd be telling your former colleague to take a funny run and never darken my screen again and wait for the co-respondent's copy of the Petition to drop through your door. It will give her name and address and that is when you return it to her with your letter. In many cases, a petition will say that the respondent admits adultery with a person un-named but whichever form it takes, the court will not allow a charge to be levied against you while you remain in ignorance or deny any such conduct.

I stand by my earlier comments that you need to stop all contact with him, water cooler scenario notwithstanding :-) simply to avoid adding any fuel to her fire. Good luck.

t_a_2

Hey PigPen
The problem is, he doesn't want a divorce! He wants to stay married.
(PS. £23k down to £2k! Well done!)
Terri

t_a_2

Hi Paddy's Mum
He had to contact me on Facebook as he has no contact details for me, although I'm sure he could get them from former colleagues of mine. I think I would get dragged into it because he's denying it and she's obviously angry that he is, since in her mind I've clearly been having an affair with him since December.
I know what you're saying about waiting for the petition, but I would maybe like to mitigate their marriage to see if it could be saved, especially because there's kiddies involved and the allegations are fictional.
I'll see what he comes back with.
(most people stayed in hotels after the Christmas party, but my former assistant stayed at mine, so even if he'd stayed in a hotel and she believes that's when it first occurred, I got a cab back my way with four colleagues and one stayed at my house, so I'm sure that's evidence enough!).
Thanks again for your help, it's a relief to know I won't get whacked with court charges.
Terri

Savvy_Sue

I think you should set aside the thought that there are young children: they're not yours, and this isn't your fault.

Sounds like she is going to divorce him, whatever. You denying an affair which never happened isn't going to make for happy families, so I don't think there is anything you can do to prevent it.

And by the sound of it, it's up to him to deny it: you obviously have HIS contact details, so I suggest you tell him that if he doesn't deny it you will go for HIS jugular. If you can do via solicitor's letter, all the better. If not, threaten that one WILL follow!

Savvy_Sue

Have re-read your latest post: you can suggest he contacts Relate, but again I say there is nothing YOU can do to save his marriage! So distance yourself.

t_a_2

Hi Savvy Sue
Thanks. I know you're right about the children not being mine, but I kind of feel responsible. And I know once it's clear set that she's divorcing him, she's not going to say 'oh well, I now believe Terri, they're not having an affair, let's get back together'.
I know he has denied it to her.
I guess I'm still in shock. It's someone I barely know, so that's why it's unexpected.
Thanks for your help
terri