Don't want a 16th bithday celebration

GEEGEE8

I had a family BBQ for my 16th, alongside my stepdads birthday which was in the same week. The day of the BBQ was my actual birthday and his had been earlier that week.

Lots of various family, had an okay time, apart from the fact that everyone sang Happy Birthday to him, and not me, I didn't even get a cake. and just went to bed early and no-one noticed..

It was awful and my mum knows how badly she let me down and still says sorry now. She was too wrapped up in him to care, harsh but true. They are divorced now, and new step-dads birthday is nowhere near mine, good job too! lol.

I think I spent my 18th with my boyfriend and didn't do anything much.

21st was another family BBQ, without the same problems as before and a skydive the next day

So basically, as long as you make an effort on her 16th with a meal out etc, then it can't be as bad as mine.. and I don't hold grudges against mum, just think she was a bit stupid.

fiscalfreckles

Pepzofio wrote: »

Or maybe her BFs amaaaaazing parents could organise & pay for it for her - they're bound to come up with something way cooler than you anyway! :rotfl:

...actually, that's a real possibility.

Which would upset me all over again!

Thank you for your comments everyone. Glad it wasn't just me feeling stroppy.

Tigsteroonie

I'd tell her that she can have a party but that it'll be organised by you as her parents, it'll be fully chaperoned, all alcohol will be confiscated, and that it will end bag on midnight. That is appropriate to her age.

I bet she changes her mind and sees the benefit of waiting until she's 18 for an un-chaperoned, acohol-fuelled rampage. :beer:

neneromanova

Pepzofio wrote: »

Seriously though, there's teen angst and then there's just being a stroppy madam. I always thought my parents compared unfavourably in the cool stakes compared to my friends', but there is no way I would have been that rude to them and then expected them to shell out for an extravagant party for me!!! If you let her have the party without some serious improvements in her attitude your just reinforcing her behaviour.

:o:o:o:o I would just like to say I acted the very same way (didn't want the party though) and stomped off to my room. I was a very moody teenager.

I just wanted to say stand your ground. She WILL come through this, be it this year or when she's 20. I came through it when I had my first child at 21. I wasn't full blown stroppy til 20, I did start to calm down when I went to college, but I didn't fully stop til I was 21. lol.

But yes, as for the party, explain to her, even if it's infront of her BF which will embarrase her more which might shock her more, that you do not appreciate the way that when she wants something she comes to you and you won't be giving her a party as she hasn't earnt one. When she can start acting like part of the family then the family will happily pay for something. But she has to show she is part of the family for atleast 6 months, which, oh dear, goes past her party date

Also is she on the pill at all? I only ask this as I found that when I went on the pill when I got to college age I started to calm down a bit more so if she isn't it might be worth sorting something out with her. Although saying that, my sister is worse than I was and the pill didn't do anything for her :rotfl:

sashadesade

Tell her straight; because of how she's been behaving she'll have no party. Don't let her emotionally blackmail you in to giving her a party with the threat of treating you even worse than she already does. Giving in to her demands is only going to further convince her you're a doormat she can walk all over.

neneromanova

Also I would talk to her BF's parents and say that you are not letting her have a party and you don't want them paying or sorting anything out like that.

DKLS

I'd tell her, oh sorry I didnt think you wanted anything to do with me, so me and your dad are off for a long weekend in barcelona instead.

kazwookie

I'd be inclinded to pack her bags and send her to live with the wonder bf's parents!! (I know this doesn't really help you)

I would tell her what you have planned ie a meal for the family, any thing else she wants she has to earn around the house, or she gets a job and pays for it herself, I would dig my feet in and stay that way........

Good luck

fiscalfreckles

DKLS wrote: »

I'd tell her, oh sorry I didnt think you wanted anything to do with me, so me and your dad are off for a long weekend in barcelona instead.

Ooooh, that sounds like a plan!

Loz01

I wouldnt give her one, not the way she's been talking to you :eek: If I'd have been that rude to my Mum, she certainly wouldnt have given me some huge party. Tell her she can have a grown up party with a band and her mates when she starts acting her age, not her bloody shoe size.