Farther in law in a bit of a pickle.........

lilac_lady

If you're worried than NOT lending him the money will sabotage your relationship with him, you'll be on worse terms if you DO lend the money and he doesn't pay it back.

With his track record you need to ask youself if you want to GIVE him £25000 to add to the £3000 you've already given him because he'll never pay it back.

InaPickle

skipsmum wrote: »

make sure you take ceridwens advice on sending a letter saying you are not going to sign anything.
MIL did this to us a few years ago, forging DHs signature on a provident loan. When she defaulted we were left in the sickening position of having to pay it ourselves or go to the police

:eek: That's terrible! Was it not possible to prove it was a forgery?

RAS

InaPickle wrote: »

:eek: That's terrible! Was it not possible to prove it was a forgery?

You would be amazed how often this happens. One OP's mother had done this with all of her daughters and it appears that the Provident rep knew.

The worst I recall was a lady whose husband forged her signature. After they split up because of his money management skills, the house was sold and he forged her signature on the release documents so that all the equity went into his account. The mortgage company halted it and she got half to pay off the debts she had accrued for him. When she asked him why he did it the answer was to "pay off the loan".

Years later, new partner and new baby, she is chased for a CCJ on a joint loan with her ex; he had forged her signature on a massive 5 figure loan, which had not been paid off by the equity because he was not about to tell her what he had done.

welshmoneylover

Wow, I hope you stick to your guns and under no circumstances allow anyone to borrow money against your home.

Why is he borrowing so much all the time, does he have a gambling problem?

InaPickle

RAS wrote: »

You would be amazed how often this happens. One OP's mother had done this with all of her daughters and it appears that the Provident rep knew.

The worst I recall was a lady whose husband forged her signature. After they split up because of his many management skills, the house was sold and he forged her signature on the release documents so that all the equity went into his account. The mortgage company halted it and she got half to pay off the debts she had accrued for him. When she asked him why he did it the answer was to "pay off the loan".

Years later, new partner and new baby, she is chased for a CCJ on a joint loan with her ex; he had forged her signature on a massive 5 figure loan, which had not been paid off by the equity because he was not about to tell her what he had done.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

What a world we live in! It would make you wonder if you could trust anyone!

meritaten

Its sickening isnt it? my DILs father is the same - DIL had her maternity grant and her dad pleaded poverty and needing work done on the car and 'borrowed' the lot. my son went mental when he found out - six months later and DIL finally owned up that she had lent it to DAD! he sounds like the OPs father in law - but my son put him straight - made him pay it back and refuses to lend him money! wont say how he managed that - but I THINK her father may be a bit afraid of my son now!

paye

well guys tried to call him after work, as soon as i raised the question about the letter he made some excuse and told me that he needs to go as he is working and he will phone me later. Later this evening he called but not me the misses and he asked her why i called him this afternoon obviously my misses was dumb founded becuase i didn't tell her I phoned him and it turned into a row. Well i'm going to ring him now in the morning before he goes to work so he can't slither his way out of not talking to me. the reason why he want 25k is he has borrowed money left right and centre from his family and friends. I'm only getting to grips now of how much exactly he is in debt. I love my wife and at the end of the day i'm not letting him get in the way.

falady

Well done paye, you are doing the right thing. It must be hard for your wife too to be in this position, but hopefully she will understand that it is your child's future that would be at risk, were you to lend the money to her dad.

it sounds like he is moving debts from one lender to another and making very little headway in repaying them whih rings serious alarm bells, especially when it would be your house on the line.

Stick to your guns, whilst being sympathetic to your wife's position!

Ali

Pixiechic

Hi paye,

I can't believe the nerve of him!

I understand that your wife loves her Father, but she must be able to see that you are not financially able to keep throwing good money after bad at him?

Could your wife go with him to CAB to try to work out how he can start sorting some of his debt out? Then she wouldn't feel so bad and he might get the right help to sort this on his own.

You are in a very difficult position but you are doing the right thing in saying no. I doubt your wife would be too pleased if you lost your home.

I also doubt that many people would throw £30,000 at a consistently heavily in debt relative.

coops228

Paye,
Like many others, I am sure you are aware that it is not a sensible thing to do.

I just wonder if he is owning up to his "problem" though.
Sounds like a bit of " it'll be okay, I'll just borrow from xx to pay yy and then everything will be fine. Money problems, not me"

That might make things more difficult to sort out but you are doing the right thing and I am sure in your wifes heart of heart she will know that.

Good luck......