Farther in law in a bit of a pickle.........

ceridwen

I thought I'd better just come back with a warning for you on a practical level.

I imagine the house is in your joint names? - ie you and your wife?

I'm no solicitor - but I would imagine that both your signatures would be necessary if you were to act as "back-up" for your FIL.

1. You need to check whether both your signatures would be necessary - in which case you "should" be safe - as you just refuse to put your signature on anything.

2. To make sure you definitely ARE safe - send whoever-its-necessary to send to a Recorded Delivery letter NOW! stating that you will not be putting your signature on any document like this and if your signature APPEARS to be there they must check with you PERSONALLY (NOT your wife!!!!) to ensure that it really IS your signature.

I suspect FIL knows you are reluctant to do this and will try to persuade his daughter/your wife to fake your signature on any necessary documents - and he may manage it:eek:

Spike his guns at the outset and make sure that anyone necessary has that Recorded Delivery letter from you making it quite plain whats what.

I suggest you DONT tell your wife you have done this.

DO keep a copy of any such letters you send - somewhere safely hidden (maybe a bank deposit box).

That way - you may end up with tears/arguments/etc in your home as wife carries on trying to persuade you to help her n'er do well father BUT you will know for a fact that he cant possibly get his hands on your house equity.

You should have made yourself 99% safe against FIL by doing those letters - the 1% is in case the firm/s concerned lose or ignore your letter (that is why you will have kept a copy somewhere safe - so you can prove that they DO have those letters even if they've lost them subsequently. You would just show them your copy letter and your proof of delivery).

Come back and tell us you have taken these steps to safeguard yourself - and remember DO NOT tell your wife EVER that you have taken the necessary steps to protect the three of you against FIL.

kazwookie

I would also suggest that some one sits the FIL down, and gets him to be honest with what has happened to all the money he has had, do him a mini SOA on paper so he understands it, and then start to work get getting it sorted, I agree with other posters do not lend him any moeny however that might be, ie loan etc.

RAS

Hi

if you have any concerns that FIl might put pressure on your missus, then please think about protecting yourself using this http://www.cifas.org.uk/default.asp?edit_id=565-85

Make taking out credit yourself a bit more work - you need to tell any potential creditor you have the regsitration in place - but prevent anyone else pretending to be you.

I understand your reluctance to help FIl, particulalry after the last unpaid loan, but can we just check that he did not in any way contribute to your house deposit etc, which might give him and excuse to feel that he is entitled to ask for help when he is having trouble?

paye

ceridwen wrote: »

I thought I'd better just come back with a warning for you on a practical level.

I imagine the house is in your joint names? - ie you and your wife?

I'm no solicitor - but I would imagine that both your signatures would be necessary if you were to act as "back-up" for your FIL.

1. You need to check whether both your signatures would be necessary - in which case you "should" be safe - as you just refuse to put your signature on anything.

2. To make sure you definitely ARE safe - send whoever-its-necessary to send to a Recorded Delivery letter NOW! stating that you will not be putting your signature on any document like this and if your signature APPEARS to be there they must check with you PERSONALLY (NOT your wife!!!!) to ensure that it really IS your signature.

I suspect FIL knows you are reluctant to do this and will try to persuade his daughter/your wife to fake your signature on any necessary documents - and he may manage it:eek:

Spike his guns at the outset and make sure that anyone necessary has that Recorded Delivery letter from you making it quite plain whats what.

I suggest you DONT tell your wife you have done this.

DO keep a copy of any such letters you send - somewhere safely hidden (maybe a bank deposit box).

That way - you may end up with tears/arguments/etc in your home as wife carries on trying to persuade you to help her n'er do well father BUT you will know for a fact that he cant possibly get his hands on your house equity.

You should have made yourself 99% safe against FIL by doing those letters - the 1% is in case the firm/s concerned lose or ignore your letter (that is why you will have kept a copy somewhere safe - so you can prove that they DO have those letters even if they've lost them subsequently. You would just show them your copy letter and your proof of delivery).

Come back and tell us you have taken these steps to safeguard yourself - and remember DO NOT tell your wife EVER that you have taken the necessary steps to protect the three of you against FIL.

Thank you for all your replies very much appreciated and taken on board, I'm going to phone him this evening and et you guys know how I got on.

Thanks for the tip 'ceridwen' I will get on to this letter straight away. i've managed to make her realise that this something we cannot do. A few months back he came asking for another 2k I refused straight away. I;'m still waiting on the 3k i lent him previously. Plus he borrowed 2k from my nan, she has nothing to do with him.

:beer:

Errata

Good to hear you'll give FIL the heave ho, particularly in the light of the fact that he has to find £5k already to pay back what he's already borrowed.

The man is a walking financial disaster. Or clueless. Or both. Given that, you would be wise to keep a regular check on your credit rating to ensure there are no applications for credit in your name that you know nothing about.

Fiddlestick

paye wrote: »

A few months back he came asking for another 2k I refused straight away. I;'m still waiting on the 3k i lent him previously. Plus he borrowed 2k from my nan, she has nothing to do with him.

Ding ding ding!

Ding ding!

Hear that?

That's the alarm bells ringing loud and clear! :rotfl:

NAR

Tell him he should look into declaring himself bankrupt. He knows what is causing the financial problem and is obviously doing nothing to stop it.

Fuzzy_Duck

paye wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies very much appreciated and taken on board, I'm going to phone him this evening and et you guys know how I got on.

Thanks for the tip 'ceridwen' I will get on to this letter straight away. i've managed to make her realise that this something we cannot do. A few months back he came asking for another 2k I refused straight away. I;'m still waiting on the 3k i lent him previously. Plus he borrowed 2k from my nan, she has nothing to do with him.

:beer:

My goodness :eek: I'd pass on the good advice you've received to your nan as well- I know he's your wife's dad but he has no excuse to do this. He's essentially stealing from you all as I agree with others he has no intention of paying it back. If your wife still feels sympathy for him she can try to work out why he is in such debt, and help him work out how to start paying it back- starting with the £3k he owes you.

ceridwen

paye wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies very much appreciated and taken on board, I'm going to phone him this evening and et you guys know how I got on.

Thanks for the tip 'ceridwen' I will get on to this letter straight away. i've managed to make her realise that this something we cannot do. A few months back he came asking for another 2k I refused straight away. I;'m still waiting on the 3k i lent him previously. Plus he borrowed 2k from my nan, she has nothing to do with him.

:beer:

Well - there you go. The man is a user pure and simple. How awful for your wife to have someone like that as a father - poor woman. As for "borrowing" from your nan - gawd...the man will go for anyone who looks like a soft touch by the sound of it...

Anyway - you dont need me - or any of us - to tell you that your financial priority is to pay off the debt you have yourself and get your new home properly set up and a bit of savings behind you if you can. As you know - you're responsible for 3 of you now - yourself, your wife and your child. It really DOES boil down to are you prepared to have this man "steal the bread out of your childs mouth" quite frankly...

skipsmum

make sure you take ceridwens advice on sending a letter saying you are not going to sign anything.
MIL did this to us a few years ago, forging DHs signature on a provident loan. When she defaulted we were left in the sickening position of having to pay it ourselves or go to the police