Farther in law in a bit of a pickle.........

paye

Hi
Don't know where to post this but need abit of advice of what to do.

Me and my wife are expecting our first baby very soon, we are both vertually debt free apart from a house we just bought (first time) Now my farther inlaw is in quite abit of debt don't know exactly how much, but yestertday he asked my wife if we could provide a letter for him againts our new home so he can take out 25K loan to pay of his debts, i straight away said no way on earth, however my wife wants to becuse she wants to help out her mum and dad for the right reasons. My farther in law can't take a loan out for that much as he is renting.



Now I'm worried that if I stick to my guns and misses behind my back turns round and and writes this letter I will be screwed. Do banks need signatures from both person when taking out a loan againts a house ??

thanks.

gratefulforhelp_2

Send him to the debt-free wannabe board and read through some stories yourself. That should convince you your stance is the right one and get him some help.

LittleMissAspie

The bank won't just give you 25k like that. They'll want to know you can pay it back, that it fits their income to loan ratio, that it fits the LTV of your mortgage. If you've only just bought your first house I doubt they'd allow you to borrow another 25k even if you wanted to. So don't worry about that.

I actually think it's very horrid of him to even ask. What kind of person waits for their daughter to get their first home and then asks for money secured against it? What happens if he can't/won't pay it back and his grandchild ends up homeless, does he not care about that?

paye

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

The bank won't just give you 25k like that. They'll want to know you can pay it back, that it fits their income to loan ratio, that it fits the LTV of your mortgage. If you've only just bought your first house I doubt they'd allow you to borrow another 25k even if you wanted to. So don't worry about that.

I actually think it's very horrid of him to even ask. What kind of person waits for their daughter to get their first home and then asks for money secured against it? What happens if he can't/won't pay it back and his grandchild ends up homeless, does he not care about that?

You know what my mum said exactly the same thing, he is bang out of order and what annoys me is that he should of come to me and asked me. My wife was upset as I said no, this sort of things causes friction in a home. I'm going to have a word with him tomorrow and tell him where to go, he got himself in a mess he should get out of it himself and I'll direct him to the debt free board as 'gratefulforhelp' mentioned. I've already lent him 3k in January and i;m still waiting for it.

Thanks guys

BallandChain

I just had to reiterate the other poster's comments. Do not lend him any money or sign your name to anything! Good grief, he's already borrowed £3,000 and shown no sign of paying it back. Put yourself, wife and child first cos I bet he is only thinking of himself.

ETA: I just noticed your signature and you owe on a credit card. Tell your father-in-law that you have a debt to pay off and would like your £3,000 back.

mpet

I very much doubt that if he is in that much debt he will be able to get another loan. This 'letter' is more likely a roundabout way of asking you/your wife to apply for a secured loan on your property for him.

I think it is very unfair of him to put you in this awkward position. I would gently point out to your wife, that as he hasn't managed to pay you back the money you have already loaned to him, there's little chance of him repaying a loan that size.

emsywoo123

I can understand why your wife is upset to a degree-she must be very worried about her dad.

BUT.........I absolutely agree with you saying no, and I think it is so wrong that he asked.

Any household with a pregnant lady in has new challenges to face-how very wrong of your FIL to add to those worries.

Kate78

No way. He still owes you 3k. Not a great track record for someone who wants to put your home at risk.

Besides, the loan wouldn't actually help him sort out his problems, merely store up more problems for the future when he'd spent all of it. Bailing people out rarely works long term - they need to sort out their own problems.

Most unreasonable of him to put you both in this position. :mad:

nottslass_2

Correct me If I'm wrong but it sounds like he wants to take out a loan secured on your home ?

Do not do it,unless you are prepared to lose your home if he is unable to meet the repayments - if he can't afford to pay back 3k he certainly can't pay back 25k !!

I can understand your wife wanting to help her Dad, but I'd ask her if she thinks you could afford to repay the loan if he defaults ?

Perhaps you could offer to go through his finances with him and try to sort out his debts - if he is in real financial difficulty its not the end of the world and there's plenty of help for people in his situation as plenty on the debt free board will verify.

pinkclouds

Stand firm for your wife and child's sake. And be prepared to shield them by taking the flack yourself. (It will be sooo much easier for your wife to say "hubby says no" than for her to say "I'm saying no". No matter how old you are, it's really difficult to disappoint your parents and I've no doubt your wife is very upset. My dad would never do that to me.)

Errata

Tell him to jog off and remind your wife he still owes you and her £3k !