What to wear to a memorial service

Oldernotwiser

conradmum wrote: »

The deceased was a close friend of 20+ years. I am quite close with his wife and brother but, as I said, I don't want to be disturbing them at the moment with phone calls. I have written.
t.

I wasn't really thinking of your contacting them but I believe that black's generally considered a bit OTT nowadays even for a funeral unless you're close family.

I'd agree with Belfast Girl and go for dark and smart, which won't offend anyone.

Savvy_Sue

If you know anyone else who'd be going, I'd discuss with them.

sassy_one

I'm sorry to hear this OP, I just wanted to offer my respects and say I hope the day goes as painfree as possible

ailuro2

Colourful blouse with a pair of darker trousers and a black jacket over the top - that way you can take the jacket off and leacve it in the car if it's plainly obvious when you arrive that it is bright colours, or keep the jacket on if it is more sombre.

If they are Christians you can take a little comfort from their belief that he has gone somewhere better...doesn't make it easier right now but in time it will be a comfort to them, also they will hopefully have a lot of support from their congregation.

conradmum

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I wasn't really thinking of your contacting them but I believe that black's generally considered a bit OTT nowadays even for a funeral unless you're close family.

I'd agree with Belfast Girl and go for dark and smart, which won't offend anyone.

Thanks, I wasn't aware of that.

pollypenny

I'm not sure I agree with Oldernotwiser. It may well be a regional thing.

In Wales we would wear black or certainly sober clothes to a funeral. But rarely a hat, which seems festive somehow.

If the service is immediately after the family funeral, I would wear my black suit with a pale coloured top under the jacket. In fact, OH and I have a funeral to attend next week.

nutsohazelnuts

Unless the family have specified that guests should wear bright celebration clothes I would always err on the side of caution and wear something formal, smart and sombre to a Memorial Service. I would certainly not wear anything which could be interpreted as festive, or as if I threw on any old garb with no thought for the seriousness of the occasion.

My condolences on your sad loss.

paulwf

At a recent memorial service I attended there was everything from suits to t-shirts and jeans and no one cared or looked out of place. The immediate family appeared to be more casually dressed as they didn't have to worry about being disrespectful and playing it safe.

pollypenny

The informal/casual is still unusual, though. No more expects people to go out and buy formal black these days.

Just keep it tidy and formal, in black, grey navy etc.

meritaten

I agree with pollypenny - everyone wears black or black with white to funerals here in the south wales valleys (although Navy is also acceptable, not many people actually wear it), to NOT do so would be seen as disrepectful. so, if things are more relaxed where you live please be aware of this if you are coming to a funeral (or memorial, though these are rare here), as you may unwittingly cause offence!