The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread Part 8!

jo1972

Sim mate, this has to stop before you really hurt yourself. Where do you live? We need to find you some help.

I understand what you are saying about the AA and do agree that once 'your in' you tend to fall into a uniform way of life (no offence to any of our AA members on here), but that's because they have spent a lot of time going to meetings and learning the steps to help them recover and that's what they need to do to keep them that way. I've been to about half a dozen meetings and have yet to find one that I feel comfortable in.

Although I do feel that you may be referring to the 'tough love' that they give out. This will happen with pretty much everyone, whether it be GPs or counsellors etc. I've had counselling 4 times, the first and second one was namby pamby (sp?) kinda people, agreed with everything I said, hand on shoulder, nodding head kind of people. I didn't even get near quitting for a day.

The next two were far firmer, but in a nice way, that's why it's called tough love. It's tough, but they are saying it for your own good because they want to help. I quit drinking after seeing both of these counsellors, they gave me a goal (didn't last unfortunately).

What I'm trying to say Sim (pot, kettle, black etc...), you can not continue the way you are living, your relationship (in my humble opinion) is not going to work out, you are both far too unpredictable (you because of your binge drinking), when your GF goes off on one then that results in you drinking on it 9/10 times. It's lovely that she lent you the money, it really is. But this doesn't mean that you are dependent on her. Make an arrangement, just like a DMP, to pay her back over a set period of time, write it in a book with all the payments made and have a clear finishing date....and stick to it.

You do not have a healthy relationship and this has an impact on your drinking. I think it's harder for binge drinkers than daily drinkers like myself. Least I know where I am, I drink daily so I will drink. You go weeks on end sober and happy, then booger it up over a period of a few days then your mood is rock bottom for a week or more. Because you don't drink everyday it is unpredictable. I am wondering if going away for detox would help you. There's no point in doing the 2 week librium detox as you often don't drink for 2 weeks anyway. You need 6 months away. Campral is good but you need to take it for a while before it starts to work and then you must keep it up otherwise the effects aren't so good. Have you discussed antabuse with your GP?

I wish there was something else I can do, and I've only said all this stuff because I care and believe it or not understand completely what's going on in your head. I'm an alcoholic and have the same thoughts.

Take care Sim, take each day/hour as it comes and do not let your GF upset you anymore xx

ETA: really hope I haven't upset you Sim xx

jo1972

honeybear wrote: »

Think it's going to take me hours to catch up!

Why, were there a lot of messages yesterday

honeybear wrote: »

Anyhoo, I managed an AFD for this first time in ages so that's 1 for me

Very well done HB :T:T:T

Different_Corner wrote: »

Have been browsing through the weezl thread and the grocery budget recipes, feeling positive about this.

I don't even know where to start

different_corner wrote: »

40sm was last seen around the 25th..come back, we'll make you chuckle.

^^^^^^^^ what she said

different_corner wrote: »

Feeling good about AFness, tonight is easier.

It's getting harder for me, plus sleep is non-existant

That's 3 for me please DB

budget_babe wrote: »

"gettin me arris into gear"

I'm now off to get me 'aris into gear cos I've just seen the time!! And, yes, I will be working today, only 3 more days and 2 WHOLE WEEKS OFF WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

Chow now baby

jo1972

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

Excited here - off to Bristol Zoo at 8am!

Morning Miss P, hope you have a lovely lovely day, say hello to the giraffes for me xx

Different_Corner

Sim, think Jo has some valid points.Well put.
Can I ask something though, does your girlfriend drink ? Is she one of your drinking buddies ?

Am on 2/31

jo1972

I am at my desk and will not be posting on here today

Different_Corner

Yeah.....sure..

jo1972

Different_Corner wrote: »

Yeah.....sure..

Oh....whatever..

gien

Morning everyone. Back from holidays, well, not home but at least in the right country to get internet via the phone without it costing a fortune.

I have caught up with he new thread and wouldlike to commit to 20 AFDs THIS MONTH please.

Drank a lot on hols - probably a bottle a day spread over lunch and dinner and I felt pretty sluggish a few times in the morning.

Sim, I feel for you, take care.




Have a good day

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hi guys,

Hope you're all good.

Pretty messed up here.

Drank last Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

My best mate's funeral was today / yesterday - Tuesday, and I didn't go. Now regretting it.

I've upset someone on here, by PM, due to my not 'being there' for them. I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for the message I sent just now.

Still feeling ill from Saturday night.

Am in an abusive relationship which has of late, become completely dysfunctional.

Girlfriend threw all of my clothes around my room Saturday morning, as I left to carry on drinking, and turned another cupboard inside out.

Haven't drank since Saturday night. My Girlfriend decided to yet again, tell a barman that I was an alcoholic, and she told a girl at the bar that I'd "been emotionally verbally abusive" (I hadn't).

I walked away, met my friend, and she followed me. She then continued with the abuse - very loudly said "You're disgusting. You're a loser. You don't have a job. You're a drunk" in front of a few couples, out in a quiet beer garden. I calmly asked her to please calm down. This made no difference.

Bonkers.

She's now all apologetic, and has been very sweet, but very very clingy, asking when she can see me as she doesn't like being on her own (says she "doesn't feel safe on her own").

She brought food over yesterday afternoon, was all huggy, and apologetic but I can't just put Saturday night to one side. That was the third or fourth time it's happened, and whether I'm half cut or sober, she's too unpredictable.

Of course I feel indebted to her, and she knows this (hence her bringing up the money issue in public, on Saturday night - shouting "You owe me nearly £2,000 you f*cking loser drunk")

Booze has me by the balls, as does she.

She was home with a friend last night (Tuesday), and is at hers. I'm on my own at mine, thank goodness. She'll want to come over tomorrow, but after the last couple of weeks one more fight will finish me off.

Have borrowed more money again (Saturday), which I spent on drink (got through £200 borrowed + approx £50 ESA = £250 in 2 days - I can't for the life of me understand, how I spent this much)

So, since time immemorial, I've managed an average 2 or 3 weeks sober, then have binged on the booze again for days.

The AA guys know this, and if I go back to AA, they'll be all sanctimonious and come out with a whole load of Big Book c rap, which they'll spout off parrot fashion. No thanks.

AA didn't work. Counselling hasn't worked. Taking 'Campral' (pills which are meant to alleviate cravings from GP) hasn't worked.

Yes I realise that this has to come from within. The thing is, it is. I do want to stop drinking, to get sober.

Staying sober I can't do.

Sorry for the lack of positivity folks, but I'm all out of it.

G'night

Sim x

Please take care Sim.

Why not go to a different AA meeting, one you haven't been to before? Then they won't know you from Adam.

I had to lose my pride - I didn't like a Big Book stuff initially. But because I really wanted to stay sober I tolerated it. Now I see the benefit of it.

I swallowed my pride as I was willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober.
I had to work AA for it to work for me. Just going to a few meetings would not have been enough for me to stay off the sauce.

Whatever you decide to do or not do, good luck, and take care.

randomname_3

SIM I am a newbie here but have read many of your posts. You have identified a trend in your behavoir and you need to remember it. As habitual daily drinker I am in awe of your ability to be sober for so long. We daily drunks need to live day to day to stay dry. Maybe you need to live week to week.

Don't blame your girlfriend she sounds so frustrated. She may have been trying to embarass you into submission. If she does not drink she will not understand.

It's not good to be in denial. Think carefully about what she said, from an outsiders point of view she is factually correct.

Sorry to be blunt Sim but only you can really make a difference. I also hate AA but I am finding this thread reall helpful, I have had more AF days since joining in than for longer than I can remember. Why not commit to a daily update but remember to thyself be true.

Hi to everyone else. 2 AF's for me please.