The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread Part 8!

maman

peedie wrote: »

This soon became a 'treat to celebrate getting through the day'. But a 'treat' a day becomes a habit it is no longer a 'treat' but just a habit you get into. A glass becomes bottle .......and the rest is history.

That is so much something I could identify with peedie. And taking pleasure from getting organised isn't weird at all. It's taking control and that's why we're on here.

DecemberBaby wrote: »

I got the results of the liver function tests today and they were ok.

I'm so pleased to hear that DB, must be a big relief to you. Take care and thanks for manging scoring along with everything else.

Thinking of you sim. I haven't anything wise to add but hope you're ok.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling too well sparkles. Hopefully a night's sleep will help.

When does the meal plan start jo?

Freezer food here today too: chilli jackets with peas and beetroot. Unfortunately I've been munching; leftover pesto is lovely on crackers:D Good news

3AF please DB

SimIsOnTheUp

Thanks Graeme.

There are no 'different' AA meetings near me!

If I could get to others further afield I would, but at the moment I can't

I'm not even sure it is a 'pride' thing. I just don't have the energy for any of the b*llsh*t that the some of the cliquey lot at my local AA groups are going to come out with if I go back (and I know a lot of other people, who haven't gone back for this very same reason, including my mate who was in rehab for 18 months. She wouldn't go back to AA if you paid her!)

The Big Book freaks me out too Graeme. As does the whole background of The Oxford Group / Frank Buchman / Buchman's Nazi leanings within AA in the 1930's also.. Made interesting reading earlier this year, but sadly it put me off going back to AA.

Not knocking what works for you mate. Just personal experience / having read into the background of the organisation.

Cheers,

Sim.

PS - The Living Sober book, I do like! :T

graemecarter wrote: »

Please take care Sim.

Why not go to a different AA meeting, one you haven't been to before? Then they won't know you from Adam.

I had to lose my pride - I didn't like a Big Book stuff initially. But because I really wanted to stay sober I tolerated it. Now I see the benefit of it.

I swallowed my pride as I was willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober.
I had to work AA for it to work for me. Just going to a few meetings would not have been enough for me to stay off the sauce.

Whatever you decide to do or not do, good luck, and take care.

SimIsOnTheUp

graemecarter wrote: »

I had to work AA for it to work for me.

Hi again Graeme,

I've heard a few of the guys at AA say this, but I've never got it.

Can I ask you to expand on this? What do you mean, by 'working AA'?

Thanks,

Sim.

skintscottishgirl

Evening All

Hope everyone is well have just skimmed throught he posts....

Had a great day at work today and acheived a lot:j

Hugs for all who are needing them, in particular DB:)

It's 4 for me please

Onwards and upwards all

Must get a grip and get away to bed, i am up early for work tomorrow, (long lie till 6 though woo hoo!)

Catch you all tomorrow

SSG

XX

SimIsOnTheUp

Hiya randomname,

Many Thanks for your reply.

You're right, in that I do need to remember this pattern, and not just remember it but have it stamped on my forehead!

I've never 'blamed my Girlfriend' though, not once. However, since we've met, my stress levels have increased, and my drinking in turn, has also increased.

She may well have "been trying to embarass [me] into submission", however I don't think there is ever any excuse for the kind of behaviour she displayed, both in public as well as at home.

Regarding her not drinking - she does drink, and by her own admission, sometimes too much. As I said, she's told me that she "couldn't go two weeks without a glass of wine". The difference with her though, which I fully acknowledge, is that the booze hasn't caused her problems.

You also say "It's not good to be in denial. Think carefully about what she said, from an outsiders point of view she is factually correct."

I beg to differ on the denial aspect. I know I am an alcoholic, and I've been a problem drinker for 10+ years. I've always admitted this!

However, if I start screaming "I'm not in denial", then I think the lady doth protest too much, so I won't. Suffice to say, denial is not just a river in Egypt :cool:

Also regarding what my Girlfriend said being (in your words) "from an outsiders view factually correct", and about my having to "think carefully about what she said" - Yes, what she said was factually correct, and I have thought about what she said in the cold, sober light of day.

I agree with you, that she was right. My Life is a mess because of drink. I've never denied this fact.

I still don't have to ever put up with my Girlfriend's inexcusable behaviour like that, ever again - and I won't! She was loud, aggressive, was swearing, was antagonistic, and I didn't raise my voice once. She still followed both my friend and I, and at one point it looked like she was going to hit me. Not good.

Anyway, I'm rambling sorry, as my better half did upset me on Saturday night, and I think it was just one thing after another last week.
That is by the by though. I do need to now stay sober.

I've highlighted your last paragraph in bold, for emphasis, as I agree with this wholeheartedly

A daily update is a great idea.

Congrats on your sober days being on the up!

Cheers,

Sim.

randomname wrote: »

SIM I am a newbie here but have read many of your posts. You have identified a trend in your behavoir and you need to remember it. As habitual daily drinker I am in awe of your ability to be sober for so long. We daily drunks need to live day to day to stay dry. Maybe you need to live week to week.

Don't blame your girlfriend she sounds so frustrated. She may have been trying to embarass you into submission. If she does not drink she will not understand.

It's not good to be in denial. Think carefully about what she said, from an outsiders point of view she is factually correct.

Sorry to be blunt Sim but only you can really make a difference. I also hate AA but I am finding this thread reall helpful, I have had more AF days since joining in than for longer than I can remember. Why not commit to a daily update but remember to thyself be true.

Hi to everyone else. 2 AF's for me please.

SimIsOnTheUp

Hiya RA,

You talk a lot of sense.

Love your attitude. I much prefer this low key approach.

I would love to go back to AA, but they always pressure you (a bit ) at the meetings near me, to talk. Scary stuff.

Thanks. Congrats to you for 5 years mate

Sim.

RecoveringAlcoholic wrote: »

Sim.

Just my experience.

I don't "do" AA.
I don't "do" the Big Book.
I don't "do" the steps.
I have never had a [STRIKE]sponsor [/STRIKE]mentor.

I have been sober for over five years and I would never have done this without the help and support of AA meetings and members.

I found a meeting where I felt comfortable.
I sit in the back row and just listen.
I keep my mouth shut.
I pick up on the similarities not the differences.
I go on a weekly basis and the experience is a constant reminder of where I have been and where just one drink will take me.


Good luck.

The only requirement for membership of AA is a desire to stop drinking.

SimIsOnTheUp

Hiya Marru,

Thank You for this.

You've hit the nail on the head.

I have been punishing myself for quite some time, and it's high time I changed the old patterns.

Am so shattered, and I want to reply to you properly, so I'll reply tomorrow after a good nights kip.

Night night all,

Sim x

Marru wrote: »

Sim - no point on blaiming your GF, she only tells you the things that you want to hear, she is merely pointing out to you that you are right about yourself. I am sure those same words are going around your head pretty much every day. What if you are wrong about yourself - I dare you to find out. When do you think you could forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself? What are you going to do now? I mean NOW. What is the next action step you are going to take right this minute to make sure that you are going forward and not repeating the old pattern?

You say you want to start working and earning money so why not go to that voluntary job - take it with both hands, if they are open every day - go every day. Concentrate on other people and make that your number one focus. You can't drink because you have an appointment with yourself to go and do this one job.

You have broken so many promises to yourself which every time eats little bit more away from your self esteem and self respect. So instead of holing into your flat having the negative thoughts record on replay in your head - go get out, get into routine, get some work experience, show yourself that you can do it and you might find yourself with references good enough to land to that paid job but it is not going to happen until you allow yourself to be worth it.

Different_Corner

Morning 3 AF, sleep is amazing.
So over 72 hours without alcohol means it's all out of my system.
Hope Thursday looks brighter, hugs DB.

Marru, off to read your challenge

jo1972

newroadahead wrote: »

Have the dreaded dentist tomorrow

:eek: :eek: :eek: _pale_

Hope your headache has gone? xx

DecemberBaby wrote: »

I got the results of the liver function tests today and they were ok.

That's great news DB :T I bet you must be so relieved?

4 for me please (fook knows how!)


Sim, good luck, what ever you decide to do, we are all here for you, you know that xx

Sparkles, hope you are feeling better today? xx

Maman, what meal planning? Oh! THAT meal planning I'm planning ribs tonight as I have corn on the cob (50% extra free in Mr Ts - 6 cobs for £2.99! 1 each and 1 for the rabbit :cool:)

Morning DC, well done on 3 days and great sleep, I'm struggling here

Gotta get off this laptop, my arm's hurting, not sure if I slept funny....

Chow for now xx

fedupandskint

Still feel rubbish, however off to work I go in a while, might finish early today - will see if it wears off during the day again