The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread Part 8!

Different_Corner

..rushes back in after googling pad thai...looks yum jo ...rushes back out to amend tomorrows tesco delivery

but also wants lemon sole

jo1972

Sim, hope your okay? X

newroadahead

Hi All

Hope you are all doing well today.

Have had a headache most of the afternoon so not sure if we are due a storm:(

Had written a long message and pushed the wrong button so have lost it:mad:

Anyway 4 AFD for me please DB.

Miss P ....Hope you and piglet had a good time at the zoo:D

Sim.......Sorry to hear things not going well , take care and think about what the folks on here have said xxx

Jo.....Glad you had a productive day:)


DB......How are you doing ? Been thinking of youxx

Budgie, SSG, RName and everyone else keep well and well done on AFD:T

Have the dreaded dentist tomorrow, not looking forward to it but it will be NHS so should be cheaper than I have had to pay in the past:(

Ok off to check chicken casserole in the oven (trying to use up food from freezer)

Take care


love

NRA xxxxxxxx

peedie

Hiya
4 days AFfor me please
Over the last couple of days have been having MAJOR tech problems in the little corner of Essex/Suffolk all phone lines cut becouse of road works and therefor NO internet. Its weird how much in such a short time its become just so much of my day. As the boss was away yesterday so tried to catch up with every one. No joy I could read but not post. all the talk of meal planning made me laugh out loud. Made chicken curry on Sunday, batch cooking, thought I was getting organised, and have had to eat it every night as there is no room in fridge or my tiny freezer. At least tonight it will be the last and having jacket pot as at last all the rice has been used up!

Portion control and organisation for me is very much work in progress.

When I lived with my now ex, he was the one for organisation, routine and such stuff so for years I didn't have to think about running the home he did most of it. In hindsight it boarded on OCD. Over the last few internet free days have been thinking allot (can be dangerous I know) and I wonder if this is part of the reason I began to increase my alcohol intake. Partly to sooth the hurt, then just because I could, no one to tut-tut at the increasing volume, or the right time to get the cork screw.
This soon became a 'treat to celebrate getting through the day'. But a 'treat' a day becomes a habit it is no longer a 'treat' but just a habit you get into. A glass becomes bottle .......and the rest is history.

Over the last few months not drinking I'm coming round to the idea that a degree of routine might just be helpful, as real life is taking over I'm very aware that life cant be all wizzy wizzy bang bang...........the mundane has to be addressed and seen too as well. It surprises me that I am loving the boring and tedious everyday stuff. To the extent I can feel a sense of pride in cleaning and organising my home for me and the cats. That might sound weird.
Sorry.
And sorry for such a random post, its the result of internet deprivation me thinks

Different_Corner

peedie wrote: »

This soon became a 'treat to celebrate getting through the day'. But a 'treat' a day becomes a habit it is no longer a 'treat' but just a habit you get into. A glass becomes bottle .......and the rest is history.

Yep, thats me, a little reward for getting to 6pm...

I think you hit the nail on the head with the treat turning to habit.

Not weird peedie, I think the pressure evaporates once you start to realise that you can relax without a glass in your hand. The little mundane chores were always a pain after half a lager, and never actually carried out with any enthusiasm.

Happy sleeps everyone.

DecemberBaby_2

Different_Corner wrote: »

Yep, thats me, a little reward for getting to 6pm...

I think you hit the nail on the head with the treat turning to habit.

Not weird peedie, I think the pressure evaporates once you start to realise that you can relax without a glass in your hand. The little mundane chores were always a pain after half a lager, and never actually carried out with any enthusiasm.

Happy sleeps everyone.

Agree with you both Peedie and DC. AF day 3 for me.
I'm announcing mine even though I'm the one doing the scoring because its an incentive! I'm finding between 7 and 8:30 in the evening the trigger time. I'm trying to keep busy then and go for a walk to get through that time then I feel ok.
I got the results of the liver function tests today and they were ok. They are raised a bit but not enough to be too alarmed about. I'm going to have another test in 3 months.

NRA thanks. I'm ok its just a very sad time.

I hope everyone else is ok tonight.

Good luck SIM whatever you decide to do. Good advice from other posters earlier.

Night everyone, wil post scores tomorrow.

DB x

Marru

Very tired here as I have just kicked off a new challenge for myself, more details HERE

Hope everyone is ok, night night...

SimIsOnTheUp

jo1972 wrote: »

Sim mate, this has to stop before you really hurt yourself. Where do you live? We need to find you some help.

Hiya Jo,

You're right. It does need to stop, as I don't think I'll see next year if I carry on.

I'd rather not say where I live, but the support around here is thin on the ground.

I've been in touch with the local Substance Misuse Team, and as lovely as my 'support worker' there is (I've only seen her three times, and last time was over two weeks ago), every time I ask her about whether or not she thinks I should go to rehab for 3 / 6 months, she just says "I'm not sure if Rehab is for you" or "rehab is a bit 'exposed' for you. Maybe wait for your CBT in December, as that's more like what you need". She always skirts around the issue of rehab, so I think I'm going to have to be a bit more assertive with her, and tell her just how bad things have got.

The Substance Misuse Team frustrate me beyond belief! It seems, that unless you're a Heroin user, and are at deaths door, they don't really know what to do with drinkers - especially drinkers who are not drinking every day. However, my mate went to just one session with the CMHT Susbtance Misuse Team in Feb '09, and by March '09, she was in a residential rehab unit for 6 months! She's now been sober for 18 months. As happy as I am for her, I almost feel jealous / resentful of her which isn't fair on her at all. I really am at the end of my tether with the SMT, however I'd be the first to admit that I have cancelled / postponed a few appointments.. which in turn gets more grief from them.. I don't think they have any idea, just how ill I've been some days with the DT's after the 3/4 day benders, so whether or not I attended an appointment was (at the time) the least of my worries. They don't seem to get that.

I understand what you are saying about the AA and do agree that once 'your in' you tend to fall into a uniform way of life (no offence to any of our AA members on here), but that's because they have spent a lot of time going to meetings and learning the steps to help them recover and that's what they need to do to keep them that way. I've been to about half a dozen meetings and have yet to find one that I feel comfortable in.


Jo, regarding AA, I really don't know. I know what you mean about having yet to find one you feel comfortable. I'm the same, and as I live in a relatively small town, there aren't any 'different' meetings unless you have a car (I don't). There are about 4/5 AA meetings in my local area, and they are frequented by the same old people. 95% of them are regulars, who've been sober 5+ years, and I can't be doing with their 'cliquey' mentality, and as far as I'm concerned (again, no offence to the AA guys on here), my experience of AA so far is that of a rather rigid, sanctimonious cliquey club that I can do without.

Although I do feel that you may be referring to the 'tough love' that they give out. This will happen with pretty much everyone, whether it be GPs or counsellors etc. I've had counselling 4 times, the first and second one was namby pamby (sp?) kinda people, agreed with everything I said, hand on shoulder, nodding head kind of people. I didn't even get near quitting for a day.

The next two were far firmer, but in a nice way, that's why it's called tough love. It's tough, but they are saying it for your own good because they want to help. I quit drinking after seeing both of these counsellors, they gave me a goal (didn't last unfortunately).

Jo, this point you make above about my possibly not wanting to hear 'tough love' I don't agree with.

I WANT AND NEED TOUGH LOVE, NOT NAMBY PAMBY!

The support workers I've seen though have all been too wishy washy (coming out with things like "Well you always look so smartly dressed, and you're not drinking every day.. You can stay sober for 2 or 3 weeks can't you? You're doing so well" and other c rap...

and what I'd dearly love, is for them to lock me up somewhere for at least 3 months, away from neighbours, away from pubs, and somewhere safe where I can let it all out amongst like minded people, and where there are professionals who want to help. I truly do not think though, that the Substance Misuse Team are going to apply for the funding for getting me into rehab in the first place.

What I'm trying to say Sim (pot, kettle, black etc...), you can not continue the way you are living, your relationship (in my humble opinion) is not going to work out, you are both far too unpredictable (you because of your binge drinking), when your GF goes off on one then that results in you drinking on it 9/10 times. It's lovely that she lent you the money, it really is. But this doesn't mean that you are dependent on her. Make an arrangement, just like a DMP, to pay her back over a set period of time, write it in a book with all the payments made and have a clear finishing date....and stick to it.

You do not have a healthy relationship and this has an impact on your drinking. I think it's harder for binge drinkers than daily drinkers like myself. Least I know where I am, I drink daily so I will drink. You go weeks on end sober and happy, then booger it up over a period of a few days then your mood is rock bottom for a week or more. Because you don't drink everyday it is unpredictable. I am wondering if going away for detox would help you. There's no point in doing the 2 week librium detox as you often don't drink for 2 weeks anyway. You need 6 months away. Campral is good but you need to take it for a while before it starts to work and then you must keep it up otherwise the effects aren't so good. Have you discussed antabuse with your GP?

You're spot on with what you say about my relationship. I've never blamed her for my drinking once. However, it's got so combustible, that my drinking has got worse since I met her.
I don't know how to end things without hurting her though. At the moment, I'm not going to make any sudden decisions about this.

Regarding the money, I'm trying to see this as a seperate issue, and after getting back on top of my paperwork this afternoon, I'm to go back to the drawing board with my budget, and draw something up in writing, as a repayment plan for her.

Regarding detox / rehab, see my comments above.

Re Campral for cravings, I have an appointment arranged, to see my GP next Monday. Antabuse scares the beJesus out of me, but I don't think I'm at a point where there can be any half measures.

I wish there was something else I can do, and I've only said all this stuff because I care and believe it or not understand completely what's going on in your head. I'm an alcoholic and have the same thoughts.

Take care Sim, take each day/hour as it comes and do not let your GF upset you anymore xx

ETA: really hope I haven't upset you Sim xx

Thank You so much Jo for your care and practical, helpful advice. I texted my Girlfriend earlier today (she'd wanted to come over) saying that I needed time to get myself better, and asked her to give me a bit of space, as too much had happened. She surprised me by leaving me be, and by sending a nice reply this evening.

Thanks again Jo.

Sim xx

SimIsOnTheUp

Yikes. Now that made me smile, made my eyes hurt, and feel queasy all at the same time

SimIsOnTheUp

Different_Corner wrote: »

Sim, think Jo has some valid points.Well put.
Can I ask something though, does your girlfriend drink ? Is she one of your drinking buddies ?

Am on 2/31

Hiya DC.

My Girlfriend does drink. She has told me before, that she "couldn't go two weeks without a drink".

She can moderate it though with her friends, and she never drinks alone.

In recent months, she has started to drink with me. Not good.

Cheers,

Sim.

PS - Must add, that the booze has never affected her job, or finances, and she doesn't have a criminal record either!