Blue Badge 'police'

Madz

SandraScarlett wrote: »

I'll bow to your superior knowledge, but where in the "rules" does it state this please?

xx

Jesus, you lot are spikey. It's to do with consideration of other bb holders. Or is that the C word? If everyone actually worked out if they truly need a disabled space and parked according to need and not perceived right the world would be a nicer place for poeple struggling to find an appropriate place to park.

What on earth is the xx about at the end of your posts?

SandraScarlett

Madz wrote: »

Jesus, you lot are spikey. It's to do with consideration of other bb holders. Or is that the C word? If everyone actually worked out if they truly need a disabled space and parked according to need and not perceived right the world would be a nicer place for poeple struggling to find an appropriate place to park.

What on earth is the xx about at the end of your posts?

The xx at the end of my posts is something I've always done. It appears on all my posts. On all threads, and I wasn't being "spikey". I was merely stating that any BB holder can park in a disabled parking place, unless it's for wheelchair users only.

You countered this by quoting my post and adding "only if they're getting out the car". When I read that, I honestly believed that it was a rule, written down somewhere! I asked you politely where it stated this, because if that was the case, then my husband has broken it.

I believe disabled people do use consideration, and would not park in a disabled space if they could manage without one. But so many of the standard spaces are too narrow for anybody with mobility disabilities to push their door open sufficiently to enable them to get out the car.

Perhaps the consideration should be extended to anyone with a BB, whether anyone thinks that someone elses disability is worse than theirs or not. Or should people who don't immediately get out the car, or get out, but know that they'll return whilst the driver is still away from the car, just stay indoors?

xx

hippygran

YET AGAIN (I HAVE NOW LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE SAID THIS!!!!)
We would not use the badge if my husband did not intend to get out of the car!
It is NOT used to save me from exhaustion! Or to save ME from walking any distance, because I am LUCKY, I can walk without any problem, ANY DISTANCE I WANT TO.
Sometimes my hubby has huge problems getting out, so comes to me WHEN HE IS ABLE TO.
He ALWAYS needs the door fully open, by the way, or he would never get out!
Occasionally, he makes several attempts to get out, but is still struggling when I get back to the car, and without a crystal ball, neither of us knows on what occasions he will or wont make it!
I am so very sorry if some people on this thread, particularly sunnyone and shocking pink think that this makes us selfish and despicable people, but he really, really cant help it!
By the way, on occasions we have waited 75 mins for a free bay, and on several occasions have had to abandon shopping trips (and do the 16 mile journey back empty handed). But at no time have I felt the need to lynch, embarrass, or be obnoxious to other people who are using the bays who have a blue badge.

lucylucky

Sometimes, much to the surprise of others, life is not black and white.

SandraScarlett

Hippygran, there is absolutely no need for you to feel you have to give explanations of what you do and why you do it. The majority understand completely, and the minority never will, no matter how many times you try to explain.

I feel comments have been made to you in such a way that you feel it necessary to defend your actions - anyone would think this was the Royal Courts of Justice! Your priority is your husband, as mine is to me.

Having been with my husband for 44 years, and seeing him suffer, I have no intention of altering my routine, just because someone else believes their needs are greater than his. We have not broken any laws.

We had an emergency GP appointment last week, and quickly realised that 10 of us had all been given the same time, 12.15, when surgery finishes. All the other 9, without exception, were mums with either babies, toddlers, young children or all 3.

My husband's name was finally called at 1.45, but at no time did either of us find this odd, or unfair. If it had been our grandchildren who were ill, we too would have expected the little ones to be seen first. Some of these children looked the picture of health, though obviously weren't, whilst others didn't.

But never in a million years would we have assumed that we were a priority, or asked the mothers to justify their place in the queue, and I find it incredible to read some of the comments made to you.

I'm happily paying for my shopping to be delivered next week and the following week, so we won't have to drive round and round looking for a parking place, or stand in the checkout queue, or have my husband endure the noise. He also has Multiple System Atrophy, and gets confused and frightened easily.

I wish you and your husband well, and hope his health improves.
xx

FestivalsRUS

hippygran wrote: »

He struggles to get out the car immediatley.
Finds out that his knee is locked, (AGAIN - it either locks or dis-locates many times a day).
He is in considerable pain, and sometimes half in and half out the car.

Has he considered having his knee caps removed? I've had both removed, but not replaced as I am too young, and by the time I am old enough they won't be able to do it!!!

But it does help me enormously, and I'm down to 4 tramadol a day and 10 paracetamol. Defo. the best thing I ever did, but still cursing the right knee as the operation was only 11 weeks ago and it's still early days:beer::beer::beer::beer:

KittyLady

pwales wrote: »

i honestly dont think people who can walk even in lots of pain and even if it is for a short distance will EVER understand how hard it is for a wheelchair user who has NO use of there legs, the wide spaces are a must not just more conveniant for pain but it is impossible not just hard for me(in a normal space) to lift my chair from the passanger seat across me put it next to the door (which has to be full open) and wide enough space for the chair then lift the wheels from the back seat assembe the chair and get in it then reverse to go home.
just please think do i really need this space as much as a para, or could i park just over there if the disabled person aint getting out
please:(

While I'm sympathetic, this upset me. I can walk short distances, not well though as my pelvis is damaged, I live with chronic pain, it never stops. Look don't get me wrong, this is no way a who wins, but honestly one of the first things I learnt when becoming ill was that I shouldn't judge others disabilities.

While it seems silly to you, the last day I didn't have to live in excruciating pain was when I had an epidural and couldn't feel anything from the torso down and I'd trade that to stop the agony anyday. To be able to lift my son and hug him properly without pain shooting through my arms. We all think the grass is greener eh.

And if I was in a bay and saw you needed it, I would merrily give it for you not because I think you're worse off than me, but for the same reason I'll struggle to hold a door for someone, I'm just a nice person.

hippygran

Sandra - thanks you've made me feel better!
I cant understand why people are so upset with me!
All me and my husband are trying to do is obtain some quality of life for him.
I consider us both to be nice people, and I would never knowingly hurt or offend anyone, and am very placid, and try to be pleasant, and smile a lot during my daily routine at all and sundry!
My husband is the type, that when someone is not watching what they are doing, and bump into him, and literally knock him over, he doesnt get cross, but even in though pain will tell them not to worry coz accidents happen. His specialist is astounded that he can still walk at all, because he says by rights it should be impossible for him to do so!
I wish you and your husband all the best too.

FestivalsRus
That is an option which has never occurred to us, or been proposed by any of the specialists he has seen, and I have no idea whether its possible. I will certainly get him to ask at his next appointment.
So far all avenues he has explored (and we are 10+ years on now) have come to a dead end. There was talk of re-breaking both top and bottom bones in his leg, removing the steel inserts, replacing, inserting a made to measure knee (as a standard one wont fit, coz what is left of his knee is now misaligned and his knee cap would be almost side on), but when they did the risk assessment there was only a 50/50 chance of his surviving surgery! Not good odds - but they were almost 100% there would be an improvement at least temporarily - if he survived!
As it stands at the moment he has been told amputation is his only answer, but they are reluctant to do this whilst he can drag himself around!
He is 56, and believe me in the last few years has really aged, and gone from a fit and active bloke 14 years ago, to quite an old man, who struggles with almost any daily task.
Hes not going to get younger, his leg is degenerating more rapidly now, and he is getting further problems due to his poor posture as his whole body is mis-shapen. He wears built up shoes to try and correct this, but in reality it doesnt really. (Although they help with the actual walking, as nowadays he cant walk at all without them on).
We both feel that if amputation is going to be inevitable, that this should be done sooner rather than later, while he is still relatively young, and therefore able to adapt better, and before the cirulation worsens and he ends up with bloodclots or gangerine.
But they are not budging at the moment, and the orthopedic surgeons dont even seem interested much now, because they feel there is little they can do until he reaches a crisis!
All this because of a motorbike accident almost 30 years ago!

hippygran

FestivalsRUS
Doesnt it make your blood boil!
Your too young to have what you need done!
(Probably coz they dont want to have to re-do at a later date).
So they leave you struggling and in considerable pain, even though if they leave it, it may not be possible at a later date!
And they dont want to sort my hubby out either, (too young at 56!!!) to amputate, so they are going to leave him (also in great pain), until some life threatening crisis occurs, or he simply cant walk at all, or he departs this earth.
I am seriously beginning to think they are hoping for the 3rd option as an NHS cost-cutting exercise.
Any way hope your surgery settles down soon, and your quality of life improves greatly as a result.

pwales_2

KittyLady wrote: »

While I'm sympathetic, this upset me. I can walk short distances, not well though as my pelvis is damaged, I live with chronic pain, it never stops. Look don't get me wrong, this is no way a who wins, but honestly one of the first things I learnt when becoming ill was that I shouldn't judge others disabilities.

While it seems silly to you, the last day I didn't have to live in excruciating pain was when I had an epidural and couldn't feel anything from the torso down and I'd trade that to stop the agony anyday. To be able to lift my son and hug him properly without pain shooting through my arms. We all think the grass is greener eh.

And if I was in a bay and saw you needed it, I would merrily give it for you not because I think you're worse off than me, but for the same reason I'll struggle to hold a door for someone, I'm just a nice person.

hi kitty lady, im telling you this not to say my disability is any worse than anyone elses, my post was saying it is impossible because of the physical size of my chair it will not fit between two cars in a normal space,
this next bit is not a "one up on disability"
spinal cord damage is not just no feeling or use of my leg /legs(i can feel some parts)
i am in pain every day on morphine and fentnal / pregablin ect
i am double incontinant (ewww sorry) medication and "tools" to empty me
morning glory is a far distant memory
my hands , wrists are paying for being used as legs and hurt every push of my chair,
i also can not /could not pick up my child

so you see i do have a understanding of pain and all the other crappy feelings that come with disabilities

but

what i read on this forum is that some think it is ok to abuse the blue badge system I.E using a b/b space when the disabled badge owner is not getting out
making it impossible for us in chairs or sticks to get out of our cars.
and if these people had a real understanding of the word "impossible" rather than incoveniant the b/b system may work a bit more like it should
i hope none of this is taken as nasty or "one up" on disability problems:beer: