In a massive mess

obsessedwithhamsters

well said dancing fairy. I totally agree with you. thats what I've had to do. I had to access what is important to me. Does it really matter if my son has the latest designer top or if he has a mum who isn't stressed and worried about money all the time? I'm sure I know what he'd prefer! Roxie you should be fine with your decent salary and 3k isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things. I owe a hell of a lot more. Just take this as the early warning and sort it before its too late. Work in partnership with your OH and make sure there are no secrets. Sit down and work out a budget and stick to it. Easier said than done I know!!

dancingfairy

Your friends and family love you for who you all are - not the amount you spend on entertainment and gifts - spend less but choose wisely and they will appreciate them all the more becasue they know that they are truly heartfelt.
As for the kids there are many things you can do with them that are cheap that they will enjoy - perhaps only go to the cinema when using orange wednesday, meals out 2 for 1 only, takeaways once a month max - you do not have to cut everything out - just reassess.
Hopefully there are museums, and free things going on where you are - try picnics like someonelse said. We very often fail to make use of what's on our doorstep I think - museums/art galleries/historic buildings/ beaches etc and tend to only vist these places when we go away. Lol.
Good Luck
df

RenovationMan

You're actually in a really good position financially. You have a great income and very low essential outgoings and no loans or finance. All you need to do is not be so extravagant every month and instead of buying whatever you like, just save up for them. You could pay that overdraft off in three very frugal months.

With such a small debt compared with your after-tax income, it looks like your OH has hugely overreacted and really should look at his own involvement in all this. All in all though, there is no reason to panic and you should both now work together to get your finances into shape so that when you do have a real disaster, such as an illness or job loss, your finances will be robust enough to cope.

iamana1ias

RoxieW wrote: »

Groceries etc. ......................... 800
Clothing................................ 500
Other child related expenses............ 150
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 300
Haircuts................................ 50
Entertainment........................... 800
Holiday................................. 300

RoxieW wrote: »

Though I missed some things - off the top of my head -
charity donations £30
sons violin £25
gift for boys teachers £15
birthday gift for sister in law £100

This is completely obscene. I earn 2-3 times your household income, have £200k-ish in the bank doing nothing and don't spend anywhere near what you do! :eek:

Would suggest the following as more reasonable

Groceries etc. ......................... [STRIKE]800[/STRIKE]400
Clothing................................ [STRIKE]500[/STRIKE]zero - you clearly have plenty
Other child related expenses............ [STRIKE]150[/STRIKE]100
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... [STRIKE]300[/STRIKE]50
Haircuts................................ [STRIKE]50[/STRIKE]20
Entertainment........................... [STRIKE]800[/STRIKE]100
Holiday................................. [STRIKE]300[/STRIKE]100

That saves you a whopping £2130 a month!

6 weeks of that would clear your overdraft. 6 months would give you a decent amount of savings and 12 months of it would make a decent dent in your mortgage.

As for the £100 presents, ditch them. A homemade cake says so so much more.

plum44_2

Roxie- its become a habit. Stop spending before 3k becomes 13k. Just stick to the essentials and you will have the 3k paid off in no time and no more clothes!

koolkid

Hello lovely

I have to agree with the others- you are not in a huge mess in terms of having debts that are out of control you just appear to be spending far more than you should be. Tightening the belt should sort you out very quickly!
Also with 3 children you're going to need some spendo's for the school hols so why not take the kids to a car boot at the weekend and let them earn their own money to spend and help you out a bit and show them it 'doesn't grow on trees'... they'll probably love it. You'll also have much less clutter

Been there done that got the T-Shirt hun

Lx

RoxieW

iamana1ias wrote: »

This is completely obscene. I earn 2-3 times your household income, have £200k-ish in the bank doing nothing and don't spend anywhere near what you do! :eek:

Would suggest the following as more reasonable

Groceries etc. ......................... [STRIKE]800[/STRIKE]400
Clothing................................ [STRIKE]500[/STRIKE]zero - you clearly have plenty
Other child related expenses............ [STRIKE]150[/STRIKE]100
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... [STRIKE]300[/STRIKE]50
Haircuts................................ [STRIKE]50[/STRIKE]20
Entertainment........................... [STRIKE]800[/STRIKE]100
Holiday................................. [STRIKE]300[/STRIKE]100

That saves you a whopping £2130 a month!

6 weeks of that would clear your overdraft. 6 months would give you a decent amount of savings and 12 months of it would make a decent dent in your mortgage.

As for the £100 presents, ditch them. A homemade cake says so so much more.

thank you but i dont think all of your suggestions are realistic. I cant get all 3 childrens haircuts, my husband and myself cut and coloured for £20. Our holidays are booked. I need to work this out further. Kids activities I've added up as £40 per week - plus the usual once weekly kids party so £50 a week which is more than I guestimated.

I agree I need to make big cuts. But it needs to be realistic in order to stick to it.

koolkid

Do you buy presents in advance, when they are on offer etc?

My little girl is only 2 and she's just started with the 'party circuit' I am going to try and buy things when I see a bargain and have a stash ready. x

RAS

Roxie

You need to sit down with OH over the weekend and then agree how you are going to tackle it.

The stark facts are it is either a curry, or a kid's event or dinner out, probably not all three.

However you and OH need to work out whether you want to go for the full push that iamanalias likes or take things more gently. Do be aware that it takes longer on the gently approach but in the final analysis it is better to do what you feel Ok with, as long as you are balancing the books.

iamana1ias

RoxieW wrote: »

thank you but i dont think all of your suggestions are realistic. I cant get all 3 childrens haircuts, my husband and myself cut and coloured for £20. Our holidays are booked. I need to work this out further. Kids activities I've added up as £40 per week - plus the usual once weekly kids party so £50 a week which is more than I guestimated.

I agree I need to make big cuts. But it needs to be realistic in order to stick to it.

Why do you all need to have your hair done every month? Can you stretch it to 6/8/10 weeks?

I'd bet at least half of those £10 kids party presents end up in the bin. Cut it to £5.