When your child wants something do you pay for it or do you make them take money out?

lauhen

brians_daughter wrote: »

Yes, i would make them give the £s back....my eldest is 12 and we have the following arangement regarding £s it works well for us!

We never 'loan' him money. His spending account is actually an old basic bank account i used to use for direct debits's and we have a card each. He knows the pin and i always carry his card as i would my own, so if we are out and he wants anything if he doesnt have his card i have one lol, so he cant get away with 'i will pay you later'

He will buy anything 'extra' from this account from magazines to computer games. The one thing we will purchase for him is books, if he wants a book when we are out i will buy it for him as to me regardless of the contact of the book all literature is part of his education.

Its also important to note how children actually aquire their money - well, in my home it is. DS1 gets his money as below

Any birthday/xmas/easter money goes 1/2 in his long term savings account 1/2 goes in his 'spending' account.

He then earns pocket money. He gets 'paid' for every job he does. ie 30p for washing up, 20p for drying the dishes, £2.00 each week if his 'morning room inspection' is up to standard, 50p each week for bringing his washing down, £1.50 for washing the car, £1.50 if he helps with gardening, the 'big' money comes from school reports and homework with £10 for an outstanding report (only once a term!) and £2 for any homework that has gained a B+ or above - the list goes on and on! We move this £ into his 'spending' account every Friday. He can choose what he does with it BUT if he moves any over to his long term savings acccount we double it for him.

So, if he wants the latest ps3 game he knows he has to work really hard to get the money.. infact for the past 2 weeks i havent washed a pot or mopped the floors as he is currently saving for the latest football strip and training kit.:T:T:T

He truely understands the value of money and it is only recently i have realised this. He was telling his mate last week that £50 on a new game was a silly amount of money when he could rent it online for £3 to see if he really wanted it, and then if he waited a few months it would only be £20 not £50. Me thinks i have a mini MSE'er on my hands here!!

I wish my daughter would do this, she is 8 and a half, I tried to have the pocket money talk with her today, saying that her savings had reached 0 and if she helped around the house doing little jobs then she could earn extra money and if she was good etc etc, and she cut me short and said yeah yeah but Im not bothered about pocket money and tidying up is boring. It made me feel like poop.

midnightraven3

lauhen

wait until she wants something
she will soon turn into a crack negotiator
and so will you, seize the opportunity then to make arrangements!

lauhen

midnightraven3 wrote: »

lauhen

wait until she wants something
she will soon turn into a crack negotiator
and so will you, seize the opportunity then to make arrangements!

thanks that sounds like a plan.

gabyjane

Thanks for the replies!

She is generally as a child very good..we are having the terrible teens at the mo i think already and i just have to ignore most of it! the hutch arrived today and she was so excited to see it..i felt very guilty saying we were not building it due to her behaviour last night but feel i must stick to what i said..i feel bad on the bunny too as it's not his fault!!

We are cleaning a friends holiday home tom, it is really good pay and she is helping me..it is only 2 hours and she knows it will pay a good amount of her 'debt' off! i have said though it means helping and not sitting watching! Today she spent the very last bit if her money in her room going to the fair with her friend which made a change from me giving it to her!

She is a bit of a hoarder like me tbh and has a healthy bank account but has never touched it, the poster who mentioned the card is a good idea but i think if we can avoid it at the mo it is poss a better idea as she may get into the habit of spending it? i may suggest the card if anything else crops up but will see.

The next few weeks are pay back with pocket money so will see how that goes.

ailuro2

I f she insists she has paid it then introduce IOU slips where she writes out an IOU and gets it back from you once she has paid her debt.;)

That will stop any arguing / her trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

sp1987

You have to make her pay it back now, or she will come a cropper when it is a heck of a lot more than half a rabbit hutch.

You have essentially provided her with a loan and she now wants to stop repayment. I'd be a right cow of a mother and make her an imaginery bankrupt and stop her having any other loans until she's 17, pmsl.

I used to get pocket money that everything luxury came from so never had any of this 'oh I put my money towards a rabbit hutch but now want to go to the fair so will just get more' stuff. I do remember that I did quite well compared to friends but some of them did get a few 'extras' so not easy to work out comparisons. I was always ridiculously overprepared with money and I still am. I would always have £20 just in case the opportunity came up to do something and I was insolvent, lol.

I think you are being kind, not cruel teaching her that money can only be used once and buying something that takes you forever to pay for that stops you buying other things is a good message. Look at how many people spend 5 years paying for a sofa when after a year you fancy another one. Not so insulting when you saved up so have got a 'fully yours' out of fashion sofa, but paying for a sofa you would rather replace? Ughhhh. I'd rather keep the old one.

gabyjane

Thanks for the replies.

Today i stuck to my guns and the rabbit hutch is still sat in the garden in pieces..shame really as we have waited 7 weeks for it but i had to stay with what i said. She sulked a bit and i said remember this.

She has spotted something online she wants..i have siad she can have whatever she want within reason BUT she has to now pay me upfront for it, she said ok. I said fine on Monday we will go to the bank and get the money out which she was fine with but expected me to buy it there and then, i said once i had the money i would come home and order it, she seems fine with it..we will still see if she wants it come monday!!

I have always been brought up to buy what i can afford, if we can't afford it we don't have it simple. We have just booked another holiday but it is a year away and we will save for it. Sure it would be very easy to stick it on a credit card and forget but i have never been like that and hope i never am..me and dh are very proud in the fact everything in the house is ours and not on loan as such and we have worked damn hard to get it. The only thing that we don't fully own is the house and the car which is soon to end (the car not the house unfortunatly!) Dd moaned a little on monday as i am so busy with the kids, i said that it was my job and the nice things we can go out and buy are due to that, also i am at home with her as opposed to her being in childcare..soon shut her up!

Newly_retired

Sounds as though you are doing a great job! At what age do you think it is best to start giving children repsonsibility for money?

Caroline73_2

Newly_retired wrote: »

Sounds as though you are doing a great job! At what age do you think it is best to start giving children repsonsibility for money?

My youngest is 4 and although we don't give him pocket money, we give him money if we are out shopping. At the supermarket I will give him £1 and he can choose sweets or doughnuts etc. I always make him pay at checkout too. He recognises coins now and knows which is worth most.

Daz1

Might I also suggest when they identify something they would like, instead of advancing them the money, resist the urge to buy it there and then and take them home first to think about it. I find, overnight, that impulse to buy recedes and you decide you really don't need the item you were so desperate for the day before. If they decide they still want it, consider making them save for it or offer to match them eg pound for pound on what they save. This way, they learn:-

1. To recognise and control impulses
2. To not rely on credit (from parents which might rub off in later life with credit cards etc)
3. To learn the value of saving