When your child wants something do you pay for it or do you make them take money out?

katieclampet

brians_daughter wrote: »

Yes, i would make them give the £s back....my eldest is 12 and we have the following arangement regarding £s it works well for us!

We never 'loan' him money. His spending account is actually an old basic bank account i used to use for direct debits's and we have a card each. He knows the pin and i always carry his card as i would my own, so if we are out and he wants anything if he doesnt have his card i have one lol, so he cant get away with 'i will pay you later'

He will buy anything 'extra' from this account from magazines to computer games. The one thing we will purchase for him is books, if he wants a book when we are out i will buy it for him as to me regardless of the contact of the book all literature is part of his education.

Its also important to note how children actually aquire their money - well, in my home it is. DS1 gets his money as below

Any birthday/xmas/easter money goes 1/2 in his long term savings account 1/2 goes in his 'spending' account.

He then earns pocket money. He gets 'paid' for every job he does. ie 30p for washing up, 20p for drying the dishes, £2.00 each week if his 'morning room inspection' is up to standard, 50p each week for bringing his washing down, £1.50 for washing the car, £1.50 if he helps with gardening, the 'big' money comes from school reports and homework with £10 for an outstanding report (only once a term!) and £2 for any homework that has gained a B+ or above - the list goes on and on! We move this £ into his 'spending' account every Friday. He can choose what he does with it BUT if he moves any over to his long term savings acccount we double it for him.

So, if he wants the latest ps3 game he knows he has to work really hard to get the money.. infact for the past 2 weeks i havent washed a pot or mopped the floors as he is currently saving for the latest football strip and training kit.:T:T:T

He truely understands the value of money and it is only recently i have realised this. He was telling his mate last week that £50 on a new game was a silly amount of money when he could rent it online for £3 to see if he really wanted it, and then if he waited a few months it would only be £20 not £50. Me thinks i have a mini MSE'er on my hands here!!

He seems to have his head screwed on right, good for him!! You must be very proud.

katiex

belfastgirl23

The thing is, if you don't enforce those rules, your DD will grow up to be one of those girls who never has money on her and is the last with her hand in her pocket wherever she goes. We've all heard people on here complaining about having friends who borrow money and don't pay it back. For your daughter herself you need to persist with this until she understands fully that it's her responsiblity to do so. In fact she should really be offering to pay it back before too long (it's a bit much to hope for at 11 ) and you need to explain to her that it's rude to wait till someone asks before you pay them back.

You will be glad you did in the end up as will her future friends!

balletshoes

OP you're definitely doing the right thing - even if I'm treating my DD when we're out, I tell her what the budget is, and if she wants something over that set amount, we agree it comes out of her piggy bank when we get home, or she just doesn't get to have it. We've had this arrangement since she was about 5.

My DD, because of this, is getting very good at spotting bargains and sale items .

BitterAndTwisted

If she chooses to not bring her own money when you go out then things just don't get bought and that's it. Most of us would like to get our own way when it suits us and if all it takes is a bit of a strop and some sulking some of us would be at it 24/7. Please ensure that this won't work any more

ManOnTheMoon

Depends.

If I feel like buying the girls something, I will. My money and if I want to spend it on them, I will.

However, if they see something they want, they usually pay for it themselves out of their pocket money or in eldest case, her wages.

I'm open if they need something and occasionally want something, but they know the boundaries.

If we go for a day out, I pay for lunch and the like as i'm Dad.

chloe99_2

i dont think it matters really whether or not you get her to pay half or all for some things - that's really up to you as a family. what is really important though is when she DOES say she will pay then she absolutely must do so.

Primrose

At 11 your daughter is now old enough to start understanding the value of money and you can't start too soon on making her understand that money can't be spent twice. So stay firm on your decision over the rabbit hutch. You say she normally has pocket money every week so give her a little notebook where you write down the amount of money she has to contribute towards the hutch and the number of weeks' pocket money it will cost her, together with the projected date when she will become "debt free". And stick to it. It will be a hard lesson for her to learn, but when you read all the threads on this website about people who've got into debt trying to live beyond their income, it's not too early for her to learn that if you don't have the money you can't spend it. A dose of financial reality at an early age will do her no harm at all.

74jax

My daughter is 12 and since she was 11 had her own bank account card. I transfer online her pocket money each month and she withdraws money as she needs it. I have her passwords etc so can 'keep a check' on her spending too.

If we are out and about and she doesn't have money, I do pay for it, but she ALWAYS gives me it back. I have to say it has worked the other way round too - I've been caught many a day out without change for parking and I ALWAYS pay her back too.

This year, a few months ago, she was messing around with my digital camera on the beach, I told her to be careful and her got sand in the lens........... it broke. I told her she had to replace it like for like. I had only been given it a few months previous for Christmas. Now this made me feel really bad but I stuck to my guns. It was her birthday in a few weeks and yes I did make her pay me back using her birthday money - please don't say how bad I am (I felt soooooo guilty!), but now I am pleased I did it. She is so much more careful when I say 'watch what you're doing, you break it, you replace it'.

System

I would make her pay it back too. Apart from the occasional treats and things, all of my children know that if they want that latest toy, lipgloss, magazine or shoes etc etc etc, that they have to pay for iot out of their own money. Even my youngest son has got the message, and he is only 8!
It's good for them to know the value of money and also to enjoy the thrill of finally buying something you have worked hard and saved up dor.
Linda

midnightraven3

as the mother of 3 teens
i say
stick to your guns regarding being paid back

i think you have the right idea
i did this with all 3 of ours

i now have 3 teens who do online reviews for money
use vouchers for EVERYTHING
and i get a (free) text when they have managed to
and i quote
"score free stuff!":rotfl:

you will be rewarded with a money conscious teen
who will hopefully take it into adulthood

PS i wouldnt be 11 again for a pension:D