When your child wants something do you pay for it or do you make them take money out?

gabyjane

Sorry long title!!

When we go out we always say to dd (11) 'are you taking any money'..usually the reply is 'no'..therefore i end up buying her something OR i insist if it something i wouldn't buy her she has to pay me back. This has resulted in time with her coming home, things being busy and me forgetting for a couple of days and her saying 'well i gave you xx' etc. She didnt and it gets out of hand.

We bought a new hutch for the rabbit, the one she really liked was quite a lot but she insisted she would pay half..guess what she is now in a strop due to me saying she is not having money for weeks due to paying it off..

So do you pay out or make them?

Pixiechic

Hi,

How old is your daughter?

Fang_3

Pixiechic wrote: »

Hi,

How old is your daughter?

It says 11 in the OP.

To the OP - Yes! If you have bought her something under the proviso that she pays for some of it then she absolutely must pay for it.

minimoneysaver

She's 11 - see post 1

Yes, at age 11 she would be paying her part.

mountainofdebt

the only way she will learn the value of money is for her to buy the things she wants herself - and if that means going without because she hasn't brought her money then so be it.

If you're going halves with her then she hands over the money before the item is bought.

DON79

I kind of do this now even though the kids are only 3 & 4 - we put money in a savings account for them each month when paid and if they need something during the course of the month, then we take it from their account - not just shoes or anything but also if there is a special toy that they like, then we do this.

Alikay

I don't buy anything for them unless they need it, or I feel like treating them. If mine go out without money and want to buy something for themselves I'd probably advance the cash out of their next pocket money, or they'd pay me back when we got home. Don't think I'd expect the kids to go halves on something like a rabbit hutch though - but our pets are family pets rather than their own, so it'd seem a bit tightfisted making the kids fund it's needs, but I can see why you might if your DD was wanting a more expensive hutch.

There have been times where one of them needed something (say a new pair of jeans) but the ones they wanted were more than I'd be prepared to pay. In that situation they'd pay the difference....I'd base my "top price" on something like Next or Debenhams prices rather than Asda or Tesco though.

Kate78

My dear old dad used to say:

"You can't spend money twice"

So if you've given her pocket money, or bought something on the agreement that it comes out of her allowance then that sounds fair.

Otherwise you're giving her the pocket money twice and she's not learning how to manage her money.

11 is a great age to start learning how to manage money, btw.

gabyjane

Hi thanks. Yes to clarify she is 11! Well we buy most things for her, this includes trips to the swimming park with her friends..cinema etc and tom she is off to the fair with her friend..that was a last min thing so i will have to sub her as she will not get money in time now.
The rabbit hutch i would not normally buy as it was a lot of money but she was insistent she wanted it and the only way i would buy it was if she went halves..this went on or weeks as we thought she may forget or chnage her mind but no! it is still not here 7 weeks on and so she has paid for it ou of not getting pocket money each week..she still owes another few weeks though and is not happy about it..tough i say!

gabyjane

Kate78 wrote: »

My dear old dad used to say:

"You can't spend money twice"

So if you've given her pocket money, or bought something on the agreement that it comes out of her allowance then that sounds fair.

Otherwise you're giving her the pocket money twice and she's not learning how to manage her money.

11 is a great age to start learning how to manage money, btw.

Oh no i completely agree. This is coming out of pocket money. She had the option of giving me the whole amount out of the bank and its been a huge no so weeks of no pocket money carry on. I buy things like mags, sweets etc as a treat but bigger things she has to buy or save for.

*Louise*

Absolutely

Even my 5 year old - if he buys a car (for example) he gives me the money out of his piggy bank when we get home.

(I do sometimes sneak it back in though lol, depends if he has much left)

It is the one way to make them realise that they can't just ask and expect to get whatever they want.