When your child wants something do you pay for it or do you make them take money out?

Mupette

amazing how kids forget they agreed to go halves or pay later...

I would take a little note pad, and if something is wanted, agree on how much they will pay you when you get home, write it down, get them to sign, then they have no reason to throw wobbly.

either that tell them to bring money just in case and you will look after it.

age 11 should be learning the value of money, not pulling a fast one in the hope you will forget.

Pixiechic

Fang wrote: »

It says 11 in the OP.

To the OP - Yes! If you have bought her something under the proviso that she pays for some of it then she absolutely must pay for it.

Thanks Fang, I didn't see it :cool:

I agree, she must pay for it if that is what you agreed. Even more so now as she seems to think that having a strop will get her out of paying! You are teaching her the value of money which is a very important lesson. If you back down and do that consistantly she will be terrible with money in the future. Its very easy to spend other peoples money though

I used to go 'halves' on things. If the budget for trainers was say £30.00 and parents eyes were looking at HiTech :eek: and my eyes were looking at Nike :cool:, then I got the Nike trainers if I agreed to pay whatever was over the £30.00. Fair is fair. I always paid what I owed, sometimes had to be 'reminded' but I always did.

Your daughter doesn't sound like she does too badly out of the bank of Mum so yes, you should enforce the agreement.

Indie_Kid

I always had agreemets with my parents - if I wanted something that cost more than my pocket money, I wouldn't get any until money it was paid off.

I didn't have a bank account as a child and mum always had our pocket money.

Pixiechic

Mupette wrote: »

amazing how kids forget they agreed to go halves or pay later...

I would take a little note pad, and if something is wanted, agree on how much they will pay you when you get home, write it down, get them to sign, then they have no reason to throw wobbly.

either that tell them to bring money just in case and you will look after it.

age 11 should be learning the value of money, not pulling a fast one in the hope you will forget.

:rotfl::rotfl: That made me laugh, pulling a fast one, hahaha! Brilliant!

purplepardalis

Stick to your guns. She'll learn that you don't get something for nothing and hopefully work hard in the future for herself. You can't beat the feeling of being able to be independent

the_cat

Def make her pay up!

I would go one step further re her current attitude about repaying for the rabbit hutch. Next time you go out, let her have the opportunity to take her own money. She will probably refuse, thinking you will stump up. Tell her in advance that you will not lend her any money, due to her rudeness about repaying it and the arguements that it causes.

AND STICK TO IT! If she goes without, tough! If it were something she needed, you have already said that you would be paying anyway, so no harm done. It will teach her a valuable lesson to go without a few times

Becles

Mine have to pay me back if they don't have their money with them.

It's amazing how many things they desperately want, and then I say "well you'll have to pay me back when we get home" then amazingly they decide they're not so desperate for it after all :rotfl:

Threebabes

I often do this with mine. DS will get his pocket money and not spend it, it will be coming up to the next pocket money day and he wants a ps3 game, i will buy it but then he doesnt get any pocket money and I take the £20 off him that hes already got. I make sure they know whether its a treat or theyre paying for it. I think you are right in expecting your DD to pay you back.

Again DS is 14 and any outings we pay for. With it being the school holidays depending on where he goes and what he is doing I decide on how much to give him. I always say though dont waste it and I want any change back.

Caroline73_2

My eldest has just turned 12 and he pays for anything he wants from Christmas or Birthday present money. He usually buys books and computer games so most his money goes on those. I will pay for cinema tickets etc but he has to pay for sweets there if he wants them.

He doesn't get pocket money from me as he has Sky in his room which I pay for. He gets random pocket money from his 3 sets of grandparents.

He has a mobile contract that my ex pays for, (I got him an emergency PAYG phone with £10 credit and he was to pay for any other credit but his Dad thought I was being tight so bought a contract SIM - I can't wait for him to run up a massive bill )

brians_daughter

Yes, i would make them give the £s back....my eldest is 12 and we have the following arangement regarding £s it works well for us!

We never 'loan' him money. His spending account is actually an old basic bank account i used to use for direct debits's and we have a card each. He knows the pin and i always carry his card as i would my own, so if we are out and he wants anything if he doesnt have his card i have one lol, so he cant get away with 'i will pay you later'

He will buy anything 'extra' from this account from magazines to computer games. The one thing we will purchase for him is books, if he wants a book when we are out i will buy it for him as to me regardless of the contact of the book all literature is part of his education.

Its also important to note how children actually aquire their money - well, in my home it is. DS1 gets his money as below

Any birthday/xmas/easter money goes 1/2 in his long term savings account 1/2 goes in his 'spending' account.

He then earns pocket money. He gets 'paid' for every job he does. ie 30p for washing up, 20p for drying the dishes, £2.00 each week if his 'morning room inspection' is up to standard, 50p each week for bringing his washing down, £1.50 for washing the car, £1.50 if he helps with gardening, the 'big' money comes from school reports and homework with £10 for an outstanding report (only once a term!) and £2 for any homework that has gained a B+ or above - the list goes on and on! We move this £ into his 'spending' account every Friday. He can choose what he does with it BUT if he moves any over to his long term savings acccount we double it for him.

So, if he wants the latest ps3 game he knows he has to work really hard to get the money.. infact for the past 2 weeks i havent washed a pot or mopped the floors as he is currently saving for the latest football strip and training kit.:T:T:T

He truely understands the value of money and it is only recently i have realised this. He was telling his mate last week that £50 on a new game was a silly amount of money when he could rent it online for £3 to see if he really wanted it, and then if he waited a few months it would only be £20 not £50. Me thinks i have a mini MSE'er on my hands here!!