Is your partner on board with debt busting??

spursfan14

KingElvis wrote: »

Wow, twenty grand on a car? wow again.

Get him back down to earth, show him this thread and your own words.

Very true. my wife loves to spend money on clothes and unessential items. So I have pledged to give up smoking and walk to work every day instead of driving (putting that money in a jar), if every time she has the urge to buy somthing, she puts £5 in the same jar.

I'm hoping with the saving on cigarettes, petrol and my wife's shoe habit, we will have a lump some in a year to pay off all of our credit cards and start a new debt free life!

Wish me luck, the shoe withdraw has been worse for her than the tobacco withdraw for me!!

LilacPixie

Shoe withdrawal is horrible. I agree

spursfan14

LilacPixie wrote: »

Shoe withdrawal is horrible. I agree

:rotfl:

I'll have to take your word for it!!:D

KingElvis

Show withdrawal LOL cool

My oh has loads of shoes too, why?

I make do with one pair of trainers, one pair of work shoes and some walking boots and I get by :-)

LilacPixie

I have tonnes of shoes, can't wear many of them now an I find it gutting. I have always been the person who spends £££ on quality shoes that last years and as a result I have quite a few pairs. Not bought any for ages though.

lushplus4

Why Buy an expensive car, when it will only get ruined by young kids anyway? Try to get him to see that paying off the debts first is a priority,and then get the nice car when kids are a bit older. Good luck.:)
Your not being controlling.... what will be controlling is the huge debt hanging over you dictating how you live your life.

missworks2jobs

LilacPixie wrote: »

I think its because my husband has a 'need now' attitude rather than a can't afford it lets save attitude.

When i say but we don't have 20k for a bit of metal the response is its only £xxx a month.

It is driving me daft.

We have debt already far more than I feel comfortable with, the majority actually is his. He owes 1k on a store card, 1k on a credit card, 14k on a loan. At start of year this was actually about 4k higher but I have been making extra payments to the debts. I have £500 on an interest free credit card and about £1100 left from a home improvement loan.

Mortgage is mine and mine alone, I bout this place before I met him, we are supposed to be moving as home is for sale but OH is not that great at saving in actual fact I am sure he is allergic to it, he seems to fnd something totally not needed to spend surplus income on take aways, computer games, trainers, t-shirts. You name it he buys it.

All I want is to be debt free, buy a bigger house and concentrate on being mortgage free and having the spending power to take my kids to places like Disney for a fortnight.

Is anyone else struggling with similar or am I just being a bit controlling?

OHMYGOD....are you married to the same guy I am?
My hubby wants an imac cos his friends have one, and our laptop (still working) is old and slow. Our friends earn at least treble our salary and dont have the debt we do either.

We live with our in-laws cos we cannot afford a home of our own. So I keep telling him "you want it you buy it" or "can we get a house to put it in first?"

If he wants something NOW he'll buy it on credit card and pay for it later....not realising that it'll be more expensive later with all the fees. If he hasn't got enough money in his account or to pay a credit card bill....he'll just pay it later when he gets paid, incurring shed loads of late fees and costs.

I've got no debt (well i've got a credit card in my name that i've just transferred his balance over to) and I've been asking for months if he's had the statement so we can close it or threaten them with closure in order to get a good rate (and sort out his £14k of debt from before we met that he just manages to keep the minimum payments on). I found out he'd been spending on the card.

I confronted him and got really upset explaining that i'm not being mean stopping him from getting things he wants but we've only got so much money and we have to prioritise and that if he keeps filling up the credit card once i've emptied it we're going to be at his parents for ever. I showed him his statements and explained that in monetary terms he'd actually paid the whole balance of his card back....but because he's spent on it and used it, and made late payments or only minimum payments its actually never gone down. The balance is EXACTLY THE SAME as when we started our debt free wannabe mission.

Now he's chopped the card up and everything he buys its.....do you NEED it or just WANT it? Also if he cant afford it now....he can either save up for it or leave it. Another mantra we've managed to stick to is....if I have spare money at the end of the month (which I do cos i'm really frugal) and he's running short....take money off me. Its free from me, but it will cost him way more on a credit card.

It seems to be working so far, but I was getting so frustrated with him and he had no idea I felt that way and just continued on as he was. I think if you explain to him why you feel the way you do.......maybe he'll see your side of the argument and you can agree to come up with an alternative plan together. Negociate.
Good luck.

LilacPixie

lushplus4 wrote: »

Why Buy an expensive car, when it will only get ruined by young kids anyway? Try to get him to see that paying off the debts first is a priority,and then get the nice car when kids are a bit older. Good luck.:)
Your not being controlling.... what will be controlling is the huge debt hanging over you dictating how you live your life.

No Idea. I am happy with something that is safe and reliable. I accept that will cost maybe 3k. I have never ever spent 20k on a car, hell thats a small mortgage and is literally 2/5ths of my mortgage.

Missworks - I am glad i'm not alone but feel sorry for you dealing with similar. Boys and toys. I got a txt earlier asking the following ' would we get 3 car seats in the back of an Evo8??' Boys and toys :eek:

I am actually considering getting a basic bank account with cash/electron card and giving him 'pocket money' Like here is £50 that is your treat money for the month do what you want with it.

I should say he is a great husband in other ways, he works full time, I am not in the best of health and he does the majority of the house work, all the washing ironing, kids baths etc I feel he does deserve to be able to spend some of his wages on himself but its the amount and what on. He does not drink or smoke so if he said look I want to have a take away once a week then fine. I want to go to the snooker with friends again fine great. I need new shoes/trainers/jeans also ok even a bloody iphone if thats what he wanted but I reckon he blasts thru 400-500 a month on not alot.
Sometimes well i say sometimes its actually pretty much weekly we go out on a weekend in the car just to do something with the kids, then we have lunch out, then we go to some park or another. It is nice doing things like this and the kids love animals etc but its a cost thing. Edinburgh zoo for example is 70 ish miles there and same back. £50 for admission then the kids must have something from the gift shop then something to eat/drink going around for us all. add even a Mcdonalds lunch in and it's £100 for a day.

I think its a big childhood deprivation thing. he has 3 siblings and each one is bankrupt. :eek:

KingElvis

Sell some his tat on Fleabay and then "feed" that money back into the system :-)

LilacPixie

KingElvis wrote: »

Sell some his tat on Fleabay and then "feed" that money back into the system :-)

Hehe I would but TBH I am essentially lazy. It wiuld be so easy if he just didn't spend it in the first place. He is home from work with a M&M direct catalog, because and I quote 'I need a new pair of trainers' I have asked what is wrong with the zoo york ones or the white and green addidas one or any of the others but apparently they are the wrong style :rotfl: Seriously why