Is your partner on board with debt busting??

KingElvis

^^ if my partner was doing that it would make my blood boil.

craaazyuk

I know exactly how you feel! As you can see by my signature we have a lot of debt but a lot of that was debt that he had before we were in a relationship! Fast forward 7 years and we are still stuck with it with more on top! He really thought that paying the minimum payments would get us debt free, do not know how many times I told him it would not but I have finally taken it into my own hands and told him enough is enough! I have a four year old daughter and I too would love to take her to Disney but there is no chance as the moment until we get out of debt!

The best way I got him on board was to break it all down for him, I asked him how much debt he thought we had and he answered about £15k erm try double that!! I then worked out how long it would take to pay off with just paying the minimums and basically we would die with debt :eek: I then showed him the snowball calculator and with paying just £200 extra a month we will be debt free in about 3 years! Even he could not argue with this and I have to say he is very much on board with it all now although it is still all my responsibility to sort it out!

I do not think you can ever "cure" them of it though as I said when we were debt free i wanted to save up to go Disney, his response was we can put it on a credit card as we should get a 0% rate then!!! :eek:

Buffythedebtslayer

I wonder if you could find some way of paying off "your debts" or at least the ones you have at the moment with hubby and then say look if you take on any extra they are his problem/choice and you are going to focus on the house and the savings? If he wants a shiny new car he can have one?

Trouble with that is it seems as though you are both pulling in different directions.

I really don't know how you do it Lilac. He really seems to be fixated on spending.

xxx

Marisco

Hi, as has been said I don't think it can be "cured" - some people, by nature, are spendthrifts and others are misers. I do sympathise though, it must be hard going;)

Watalie

Guys, I'm not sure if I'm being a bit thick here but can someone point me in the direction of the snowball calculator?

Thanks

LilacPixie

I am not good with blood boiling. I struggle to stay calm when faced with what I perceive as lack of effort. I tend to rant on a bit and I can understand why he thinks i am controlling or can be controlling but its all money.

I want a bigger house, I want some nice holidays, I want to give my kids a comfortable upbringing. I worry that if I have to give up work we could not afford debt and a bigger house. At the moment we are ok but everything could come crashing down so quickly with even the slightest change

LilacPixie

Watalie wrote: »

Guys, I'm not sure if I'm being a bit thick here but can someone point me in the direction of the snowball calculator?

Thanks

Dark convict put a link to it in post 4 Watalie

Buffythedebtslayer

that is the completely scary thing about debt, one thing changes and it can all go to pieces.

I personally- especially with the 3rd one on the way would write him a letter detailing the life you want and how you see the future, give him a real taste of what could happen and how things could really look, just to make it clear to him why you are doing this.

xxx

dancingfairy

LilacPixie - how about saying to him - well we save up and buy a car and it costs 1,500 say (I'm guessing here I know very little about cars) OR we get a loan for 20k which actually over it's life will cost us x amount (this may well shock him with how much it will cost in interest).
Another thing which may work out better in the long run is if you sit down and say - well you can have 20 a week money to do what you like with (or whatever) - that's it and when it's gone it's gone. I know it would take longer to clear your debts but maybe he won't feel deprived and blow everything on takeaways and blue rays?
Another thought that might work in a simlar vein is to put say 90 towards your debts and 10 pounds towards a trip to Disney for the kids for when you are debt free. Also you could say well - your 20 you just spend towards a takeaway and dvd could have gone towards our family disney holiday/saving up for a nicer car/new carpets - whatever really motivates him and is in keeping with your family goals.
Perhaps also you could sit down with the spreadsheet with him say once a month so he can see how the overpaying is working - ie wow we've paid off 100 pounds this month - that's 1000 so far , or whatever.
Hopefully some of the above suggestions will work?
df

Watalie

LilacPixie wrote: »

Dark convict put a link to it in post 4 Watalie

Oops - thanks Lilac!!