My son has been caught drink driving again!!

Savvy_Sue

I agree that the OP's son probably has an alcohol problem. I don't know if this will help at all, but one of the journals we get at work recently had some book reviews in it, including:

Get your loved ones sober: alternatives to nagging, pleading and threatening. Robert J Meyer and Brenda L Wolfe.

Astonishingly there's no publisher mentioned, but I would think with that you could get it through your local library! RRP is £6.84.

The reviewer says that the book primarily focuses on alcohol, but the principles are relevant to situations where illicit drugs are a problem - if that helps anyone else!

And yes, I'd sell the car too ...

notakid

My husband did something similar a couple of years ago. Was caught drunk sleeping in a car (its as bad as drink drivng) and then while on bail for that offence he totalled our car but was unable to give a breath test due to a panic attack but the police thought (knew) he'd been drinking.

Because of the above we were advised that he may go to prison. Lucky for us he didn't but he got a huge fine and com service. The area we live in is known for being tough on Drink Drivers so hopefully, as your son is young and has his life ahead of him they won't send him to prison.

I would def go to the court no matter how badly he has behaved you have to keep your relationship with him going.

All the best my thoughts are with you. Dont be ashamed, none of us can control how our loved ones behave.

SnowyOwl_2

Have you considered sending him a text message to say he can come and live with you again? He doesn't sound a happy person at all - and it has been even faster downhill while living with his father. As others have said J has to make his own decisions in life, and face the consequences too. If his choices include the opportunity to go back to living with you and he does so, that may help bring about a more mature attitude to life.

Best wishes with J. You want to be proud of him, and I am sure he wants you to be proud of him too - you'll both get there in the end.

nearlyrich

When a young person has a good example from one parent and another parent who takes the easy way come what may it's hard to get them to do the right thing. I know I have an ex like yours, fortunately my two have so far done things my way. I have a almost 21 year old, they are all grown up but they still need their parents' guidance and your ex doesn't sound like someone to give sound advice.

If it was me I would be really upset but I would try to be there for J and hope that you can get back in his life and help him to change his ways. He is lucky to have a mum who cares and this might be a good time to show him just how much you care, Hugs anyway hope it all works out ok for you.

Janepig

I spent a morning in Court this week (easing myself back in!!) and I think there were about five drink driving cases sentenced. Two were on their second offence of DD so had three year bans, and what occurred to me was that for all of them it was going to be their families that suffered as much, maybe more than they did.

Two defendants were losing their jobs immediately because of it, one of whom was a single mum and the other had two small kids and another on the way, I think some had disabled relatives who relied on them to be driven about, etc.... The only good thing that you could say about it all was that no-one had been killed or injured as a result of their actions.

Autumnleaf I just hope J has had the wakeup call he so desperately needs and he knows that you are there for him. My guess would be he's also feeling embarassed and ashamed but at the same time would be very much on the defensive.

Just keep hanging on in there.

Jxxxx

NAR

Autumn Leaf, if you don't mind me asking, how did your son get on at court yesterday?