My son has been caught drink driving again!!

Autumn_Leaf_3

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paul&nat

hiya sorry to hear about this! dont be ashamed we all do things wrong in our time some more than others. i would go if i was you just to let him know that you still care but needs to sort himself out. i personally dont think he will get prison sentance but will get alot of points prob cant drive again but who knows.
will be thinking of you
xx

Lillibet_2

(((hugs)))

You must be feeling terrible. Try to think that you have done the best you can (it really does sound like you have) but it is his life & he has to live it complete with his mistakes. If he won't learn from others mistakes, like his fathers, then he might learn from his own. This might be the shock he needs to set him on the straight & narrow. Even if it doesn't, it is his life & there is nothing you can do at this stage. Even as his mother, YOU are not responsible for HIS actions.

There will be pleanty of time to decide about attending his trial, if it happens. Personally I'd want to be there both to offer moral support & to hopefully let him see my dissapointment. But it is a personal decision which you don't have to make until the day. There is no obligation either way.


(((HUGS)))

janeawej

You have done everything you can for him and brought him up well, you have to try to let go and not blame yourself for his mistakes, a lot of kids do stupid things then grow out of it so lets hope this will teach him a lesson

hobo28

I would say that as a parent you should make every effort to go to court to show support. Going is not the same as saying that you think he is innocent. You need to show that despite his mistakes that you still love him and will stand by him.

I hope that whatever punishment he receives is enough for him to realise that what he is doing/has done is wrong.

Only he can decide to stop though.

Bossyboots

He may not go to prison but he is certainly at high risk of doing so. A lot will depend on how far over the limit he was. Only the one actual conviction against him will count so for all intents and purposes this is only his second offence as far as the court are concerned. He has aggravated it by committing the offence while banned. He could well get a suspended sentence, depending on his attitude when he is interviewed for his pre-sentence report. If he fails to acknowledge the effect his actions could have had on other road users and show remorse then he is likely to go to prison. Otherwise, he may get given another chance and an extended ban.

rchddap1

They may come down hard on him as he's not supposed to be driving due to the 3 year ban. Which means no valid driving license, no insurance to cover his driving father's vehicle, and potentially unauthorised used of a vechicle (if father said that he didn't know son had taken it).

Personally I would go. You have been the 'good' force and will hopefully remind him about what a silly boy he has been after all your wise words. However, it is up to him to sort himself out.

Might be good for him to receive a stiff judgement...might wake him up a bit.

davsidipp

autumn leaf dont blame yourself for your sons problems we had a problem with daughter for three years getting better but still can be pain inthe a**e.some kids just turn out that way no matter what you do.wont go into detail about dd but to say she was given everything is an understatement so much so that my son resents her.give him as much support as you are able i know its painful but at least you can say i tried. good luck.

trafalgar_2

Autumn_Leaf wrote:

I am a regular poster on the MSE discussion/arm boards, but I am posting under an AE as I'm so embarrassed about DS1's behaviour and I didn't want people who know me, to think bad of me.

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It's sad that you should feel this way but I can understand it ,people though have no right to judge you


as for your boy,he is responsible for his actions /decisions not you and although naturally you feel bad or even think you did something wrong along the way.....................you didn't ,all we can ever do is give them the grounding ,they make their own decisions in life and we can hope for is they make the right ones or learn from making the wrong ones

some learn faster than others that's all...........................as other have said ,go to the court if you feel able ,he's still your son and if he does get a sentance you may regret not being there ,it doesn't mean your accepting or agreeing with what he's done


I hope whatever happens he realises this time what he needs to do to put himself back on the right track


best of luck

Jay-Jay_4

I do feel for you, you must be awfully disappointed that despite your good examples he's gone and done something stupid. No matter what kind of example he's always had at home it doesn't stop him from making bad choices.

I think that it would make him consider his actions more if you were at the court. I know that I would feel far more uncomfortable to have my parents stood watching me if I were in his position. It may just make him feel some guilt, some remorse and hopefully it may spark a decision not to do this kind of thing again.

xxx I wish you luck xxx

jasonrat

i hope the couts punish him well. there are too many disrespectful drivers out there who never think of others when they go behind the wheel. i'm just glad nobody was hurt or even killed. and he's very lucky and everyone else who was around at the time when he was behind that wheel