Split with long term partner, was i right to do so?

gonzo127

just wanted to say well done for getting all these things done so quickly in what must be a really difficult situation

what i would say now you (i hope) have the details of the amount of money you will be getting in yourself is to check out the CSA payment so you know what the minimum amount you need to be giving her to look after the kids is and then start looking at your own budget to see what you will have left - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html is a good template to start working out your own budget

emsywoo123

casseus wrote: »

im mid 20's and she's coming up 25, our daughters are 6 and 2.

OP I thought you said you had 3 daughters?

Violetta_2

emsywoo123 wrote: »

OP I thought you said you had 3 daughters?

Twins can often be the same age as each other?

emsywoo123

Violetta wrote: »

Twins can often be the same age as each other?

:rotfl: totally true, that'll teach me to speed read

justjohn

hi Op

Well done , you work fast only went out for a few hours and you sorted somethings.

hope everything works out for you

lily76

I am sorry but I only feel so sorry for the kids...............

*max*

Violetta wrote: »

Twins can often be the same age as each other?

That made me spill my coffee! My kind of humour.

Kazzabell29

Fang wrote: »

Read the bits that I have highlighted.


I see beyond what you've written and I see the gaps that you have left. To put it simply, you were perfectly happy when she stayed at home and had no freedom of her own. She had to wait until you left your debit card for her to use so that she could have some money. The minute she became independent and you became weaker, you started to have trouble. You think that her friends are the problems, they're not. You are.


What a complete load of rubbish! At the end of the day, if she was spending money that they didn't have, I am not surprised that he was getting miffed! I hardly see him as trying to control her by not wanting her to spend their gas money on days out with her mates!!!!

Was she not able to work? Or was it her god given right to go into town with her mates drinking, doing lunch etc...?

If I want to go out but can't afford it then guess what? I don't go out. If my children need new shoes or my bills need paying, then I don't meet my mates for lunch.

Back to the original poster; if you both love each other and really want to make things work then perhaps counselling could be a good idea.

Having said that, it is the children you should think of. What is the effect of their Mum and Dad running back and forth to each doing to them?

notsayingaword

casseus wrote: »

because i was the earner in family before i was retired i claimed the tax credits and child ben and incopcity. i have given her entitle ment to her incopacity and all the tax credits and will give her the child ben. i am trying to get throught to tax credits as we speak but keep getting sorry all our staff are busy on calls right now call back later and the phone cuts off.
her health is fine no illnesses, she was my carerer,and full time mum.

Why were you claiming child benefit? This benefit is meant to be paid to the main carer of the children, ie the mother, so that she doesn't lose her NI contributions.

casseus

notsayingaword wrote: »

Why were you claiming child benefit? This benefit is meant to be paid to the main carer of the children, ie the mother, so that she doesn't lose her NI contributions.

i was claiming it because she has/had no id (thats a long story) and as i was the bank account holder at the time they paid it to me in my name as she had no means of being paid directly. i did query this with them but refused to put in her name and give out a giro cheque.