The (not so old) Crocks Cafe -Part 2

Trialia

Wow. I set a record tonight, you guys!

I dislocated my knee around eleven-thirty. Couldn't relocate it by myself as I'm not allowed to lean forward past 45 degrees - it makes my spine try to subluxate. Called a taxi, went to A&E. They triaged me, checked my records, X-rayed the knee and relocated it, splinted it, discharged me and called me a taxi home, and I was in and out in 1 hour 15 minutes. Quietest Friday night I've ever seen in any A&E department!

So now I'm lying in bed with a splint, having taken my oxycodone, and frankly, now the meds have kicked in, my toothache is worse than my knee if I don't try to move my leg... Sigh.

How's your night been, everyone?

Pobby

Hi all. A griend suggested that I come here for advice. Might be a bit of a long post so please excuse me.

I am 62 years old and was first diagnosed with a mental illness at 19. Was hospitalised and was offered ivalidity then. I refuesed and in time became much better with other forms of treatment. Met my wife, bought a house and landed a wonderful job where my efforts were rewarded with pay rises and promotion.

I had little blips from time to time but nothing too bad as to stop me working.

So alot of the 70`s and 80`s went pretty well.

Had a bout of anxiety in 1889 and again some years later. I had a bad bout of depression 4 years ago, sorted within 2 or 3 months. Another in 2009, again got over that quite quickly.

Last April, nearly a year ago, I really had a very bad time. Diagnosed with severe depression,anxiety and acute OCD. The Summer was a nightmare for panic attacks. I am doing what the Doctor has instructed me to do but I seem to be no better. The doctor is concerned greatly at the level I am suffering at.

I am self employed, contracted to a company that I am only in contact with over the phone and have bluffed my way thus far by doing some of my work from home.

That, I was informed, is to change very soon and they reqire me to drive 100`s of miles a week to see clients. I really an in no fit state and to be honest some days I can`t even get out of bed until late afternoon.

We are mortgage free and we do have well over £16,000 in savings. I have a full history of contributions. My wife is a care worker so earns very little and really needs to reduce her hours as it is very demanding and is not doing her health any good. Next month she will be recieve a small personal pension. Our plan was that I would have long returned to functioning again and be able to work. I can`t see that happening for ages yet.

For example, although I find it tough my wife insists I do certain things like helping her with shopping. Did that today. Got there and I burst into tears in the car park. It took half an hour for my wife to calm me down. Again, had to fight hard to not cry whilst shopping. I am very prone to sobbing, pretty much everyday.

I am wondering if I might be able to get some form of financial support to take me through to 65, in hust less than 3 years. What I do, apart from the driving is very stressful also. I would wait until I am better and try to get a " simple " job but honestly with the job market as it is, my age, and with my health not looking any better I think that is not going to happen.

Any help would be very, very welcome.

Thank you for reading.

morag1202

Pobby, I'm afraid I know nothing about benefits so can't help you there but I do strongly urge you to go back to your Doctor and ask him for more help. Try and get him to refer you to a Consultant who might arrange CBT or perhaps counselling as well as finding more effective medication for you. Personally, I don't find forcing myself to do things that I'm not up to is a good idea.

It might be worth investigating MIND and perhaps joining a support group. They would also know about any benefits that you are entitled to and could advise on employment rights.

You are obviously having a very rough time at the moment and I hope get the help you need to get you through it as quickly as possible. I also hope you have (and use) support from your friends and family.

lemonjelly

Hi Pobby,


First off, form the circumstances you describe, I would strongly encourage that you apply for DLA. I would promote seeking the assistance of Age UK or similar (CAB perhaps), as such organisations have people who will specialise in welfare benefits, & given the symptoms you describe, the forms aren't the most accessable to fill in.

The forms do take an hour or more to fill in properly. It is important to let you know this in advance. Anyone with mental health issues in my 14 years of experience sees the forms, and their first instinct is to throw them away & not bother.

You may qualify for help with both mobility (given that you don't venture outside much without your good lady, from what you've posted) and also because when out, you may need supervision (that is a nasty way of saying moral support). I'd also be arguing that you have care needs (what with your reluctance getting out of bed & so on). In a proper interview with you, it is likely that there would be additional care needs identified.

If your DLA application is successful, depending on your good lady's circumstances, she may qualify for Carers Allowance for the support that she gives to you.

At the same time, or subsequent to an award of DLA, I'd be looking at your entitlement to Pension Credit.

It is worth being aware that the £16k limit does not apply to pension credit. It is means tested, so your income & your good lady's income would be taken into account in working out what you'd qualify for. The Pensions Service is aware that people aged over 60 have different needs/circumstances to the majority of the population, so the rates of entitlement for the over 60's are slightly more generous. There are also some wierd yet wonderful bits of benefit rules which are significantly on your side once one of the people in the couple is aged over 60. Rather than complicate things via the internet, I would strongly be recommending you see if either your local CAB or AgeUK branch have a welfare benefits adviser, who will go through all of this with you step by step, explaining the implications of each step.

Getting one benefit will usually mean getting the next one is more acheivable. Hence most advisers would look to get you DLA first, then Carers Allowance for the good lady (if applicable), followed by looking at both pension credit and council tax benefit.

I hope this helps. If any of it needs clarifying, get in touch.:)

Oh, & the reason I keep referring to her as "your good lady", is because clearly she is a Good Lady.:)

Pobby

Thankyou so much. Yes she really is a good lady. Love her madly. If I had had my leg chpped off, I think that would be easier to cope with. As explained, mental illness in various degrees has been around since my teens. However, a big fighter, the George Foreman ( who is the same age ) of mental illness. However, this time I do feel beaten. Now I have said it. First time in my life. Thanks for the advice. Lovely lot you are.

lemonjelly

Pobby wrote: »

Thankyou so much. Yes she really is a good lady. Love her madly. If I had had my leg chpped off, I think that would be easier to cope with. As explained, mental illness in various degrees has been around since my teens. However, a big fighter, the George Foreman ( who is the same age ) of mental illness. However, this time I do feel beaten. Now I have said it. First time in my life. Thanks for the advice. Lovely lot you are.

You're not beaten. You just have a different perspective.;)

morag1202

Pobby wrote: »

Thankyou so much. Yes she really is a good lady. Love her madly. If I had had my leg chpped off, I think that would be easier to cope with. As explained, mental illness in various degrees has been around since my teens. However, a big fighter, the George Foreman ( who is the same age ) of mental illness. However, this time I do feel beaten. Now I have said it. First time in my life. Thanks for the advice. Lovely lot you are.

You are not beaten, you are just resting your back against the ropes

Things will get better for you and you will beat the Black Dog again

The_Dragon

Huggles Pobby, people have come up with some good ideas here, hopefully you can sort something out soon

SingleSue

Ah nice to see you here Pobby....I have spent more time here than in our usual place just recently.

I am another who has struggled with my mental health off and on for nearly 20 years, so I know where you are coming from...mine culminated in a total breakdown in 2005 which has taken years to recover from (I am still not who I used to be) but I am at least a semblance of a functioning human being now albeit with down times.

AS LJ has saId, do think about DLA and possibly (as I posted in our usual place) contributory ESA if you have the relevant tax years covered.

And keep posting, they are a lovely bunch here.

LameWolf

Hi Pobby, I don't have anything to add to what folks have already said, but didn't want to just read and run. Mental health issues are the pits - I speak as someone who has been on anti-d's of one sort and another for 39 years!

Ooh, just thought - when I did my DLA forms, I did them in 10-minute "bites"; found them less formidable that way.

Anyways, best of luck, and more power to you and to your good lady (I agree with lemonjelly on this).

*Waves* to my other friends here - sorry I've been quiet lately, been going through a bit of a rough time and didn't want to drag the thread down.;)