worried about feelings

RAS

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

although I fancy David Beckham

What !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sashadesade

I'm sure everyone is attracted to other people sometimes, whether they admit it or not. The important fact is you love your husband and have no intention of cheating on him, so your relationship is strong. The other man is just a harmless fantasy, just keep it to yourself and don't worry about it.

GEEGEE8

RAS wrote: »

What !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmmmmmmmmm - I feel awful actually because he was on Jonathan Ross the other night and I was just so glad my boyfriend wasn't over as I could concentrate fullY on his lovely suit and stunning looks.. lol.

I know my OH 'likes' Kylie, and I 'like' Beckham... but I don't mind at all.. although if it were a day to day 'real' person, then I would feel very hurt. If he keeps it to himself though I'll never know and I'm happy with that

gonzo127

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

I know my OH 'likes' Kylie, and I 'like' Beckham... but I don't mind at all.. although if it were a day to day 'real' person, then I would feel very hurt. If he keeps it to himself though I'll never know and I'm happy with that

MEH, i dont understand why you would feel hurt if he found someone else attractive, in all reality you know it will happen, as stated above it is perfectly natural and pretending otherwise is just silly.

my thoughts on this is what is the best of the two 'evils'

him finding someone else attractive but lieing to you about it
or
him finding someone else attractive and telling you 'hmm shes pretty'

to me its all about trust, and if you know they are able to lie about something like this how can you trust them not to lie about other things. as everyone has said so long as he doesnt act on it you have nothing to worry about, and if he does hes not the right one for you

and you can always take it as a compliment that alothough he does find other pretty etc he choose's to be with you

ninky_2

this is perfectly normal. sometimes the crush can be quite strong. but the main thing to remember is that you are indulging a fantasy situation. you don't know what this person would really be like to be in a relationship with. you don't know what their farts smell like or their annoying fussiness over certain things or any of their negative habitual points. these crushes do generally pass and then you look back and wonder what you ever saw in the person.

personally i wouldn't tell my OH as i know it would be upsetting. i wouldn't want to know if they had one either. the main thing is we are committed to each other. being able to respond maturely to a crush is part of a deep and loving relationship.

GEEGEE8

Oh, I don't know if I'd like that.. lol.

I really don't think I'm a confident enough person to be happy with my OH saying 'she's pretty' about some random person... fair enough if we were watching a programme and I said 'do you think she's pretty', and if he said 'yeah' I wouldn't mind at all, because I asked. But! If he just said it whenever he wanted then I think it would upset me yes.. but, everyone is different and he feels the same as me, so we are fine with it

Also, we don't talk about ex's at all.. it's just our thing. Maybe we are both a little insecure and lacking confidence.

GEEGEE8

Oh, and I don't mean for him to lie about it. Just keep it to himself, because I'd rather not know who he fancies.. lol.

gonzo127

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Oh, I don't know if I'd like that.. lol.

I really don't think I'm a confident enough person to be happy with my OH saying 'she's pretty' about some random person... fair enough if we were watching a programme and I said 'do you think she's pretty', and if he said 'yeah' I wouldn't mind at all, because I asked. But! If he just said it whenever he wanted then I think it would upset me yes.. but, everyone is different and he feels the same as me, so we are fine with it

Also, we don't talk about ex's at all.. it's just our thing. Maybe we are both a little insecure and lacking confidence.

i guess i am very lucky with my wife really (and i do know it) as we are very much the same as not really caring about if the other finds another person attractive, we have even been known to point someone out that we know the other would have a good ogle over, but hey as you have said everyone is different

londoner1998

It's perfectly normal and healthy... Every so often somebody pops up somehwere that I find very sexy, but that's it. I think it can be very good to channel that energy into your relationship, it can refresh things a bit. I like Robert Downey Jr. and Daneil Craig is my other boyfriend, but I woudl never act on it, even if I had the chance. My OH 'fancies' Cheryl Cole (aka 'Lollipop head' in my home).
I recently found a magazine with a really bad picture of her, and I had to buy it to show to him- 'so- she is not that pretty after all, is she? Imagine THAT in the morning and with no make-up'

We had a really good laugh over that...

So long as you don;t act on it

ciderwithrosie_2

It's a standing joke in our house, whenever a shirtless Hugh Jackman or a betrunked Daniel Craig appears on TV - the OH says to the boys 'look at your mother!' as I'm dreamily gazing at the screen.