help?

RAS

What have you bought with this money?

Until you work out where the £60K has gone over the last 3/4 years there is absolutely no point doing any sort of debt management.

You will just get yourselves into debt again in the next 3 years.

You and OH need to sit down with the last year's credit card and bank statements and work out exactly where this money has gone. Then do a proper SOA.

LandyAndy

lalli_pickle wrote: »

This may seem harsh but you're not facing up to the reality of your situation. You've sold your house to pay off your debts then run them up again on day to day living, you're now considering using your inheritance to pay them off again!
What I would like to know is how you plan on paying off the debts you run up in the next 3 years on day to day living when you won't have a house or your inheritance to fall back on?

Nail, head, struck.

WASHER

lalli_pickle wrote: »

This may seem harsh but you're not facing up to the reality of your situation. You've sold your house to pay off your debts then run them up again on day to day living, you're now considering using your inheritance to pay them off again!
What I would like to know is how you plan on paying off the debts you run up in the next 3 years on day to day living when you won't have a house or your inheritance to fall back on?

It is harsh, but also the truth hurts at time. OP, we are not having a go, but trying to help you realise this cannot happen again.

I remortgaged my home years ago when I was 20K in debt, cleared the credit cards and then spent on them again, its all too easily done, however, what concerns me is the fact you have got to the stage you have without seeking help, I sat and thought about it when I got to the 20K stage again and thought, right, not going to remortgage again, but I will pay this off, it hurt like hell at the time, but I learnt a very valuable lesson, cash is hard to come by, credit isn't, and it almost wrecked my marriage.

Some of us have done what you have done, time to stop feeling quilty and be proactive, phone the CCCS today.

Edit: I agree with RAS, take alook at your bank statements, the money has gone somewhere, you will learn from this.

MrsTinks

You say you paid "some not all" - how much exactly was "not all"? We need to know exactly what has been run up since you sold your home and how much has been "carried over" as it were to see what is going wrong.
Don't use your inheritance - you did something similar once and it's not fixed things have it?
Start a spending diary... not tomorrow... TODAY

jessie-jane

I feel the best option is bankrupt but Oh wants to take inheritance , i feel like this is the easy option and we certainley do not deserve to have the easy option.
We have spent the money on car loans, not payed off before getting the next car so just increasing the amout we owed all the time, christmas presents, holidays in this country and things like this as far as i can see, Oh is working at the min i work part time due to having a back problem ( not entitled to any benfits) but i try and do over time when available.

RAS

Love

Cars, presents and holidays do not add up to £60K.

And I bet OH would like to take your inheritance, as that means you end up paying for his spends.

How much debt were you in when you sold the house, how much equity did that release and how much more debt have you biult up since then?

WASHER

I hope this doesn't offend you Jessie, has you or your OH gambled at all? £60K is an awful lot of money to spend on cars etc as RAS has said.

jessie-jane

We carried over approx 30000 and then put a car loan ontop of this for 11000.

jessie-jane

The house was sold for 120000 for which 90000 was mortgage the rest was towards the debt which would have been about 60000, def no Oh is not gambling always at work!

Dont no how its built up aagin need to sit down and discuss, would rather not toch the money from parents, all th OH is worrying about is the bl--dy car if we go bankrupt, ok to sell the house but not the car what will the neighbours say! Oh is just burring his head in the sand and didnt tell me the extent of this mess till this weekend!

MrsTinks

OK so we have about £20k unaccounted for then?
That's not quite as mystifying as £60k... but it's still an issue! £20k doesn't generally just fall between the floorboards Not even in 3 years...
So... should you take the inheritance? NO!
Your SOA leaves considerable room for improvement - starting with your income - you say you have a bad back - have you looked at ways to earn extra money from home? Could you do Kleeneze or Avon or similar? Does your back allow you to do things like ironing and cleaning? Round here there is plenty of work going in those areas.
Your OHs income... 7 days a week and he takes home £1300? ouch... can he look at other jobs that pay more? Ask for a payrise? (don't ask don't get...)
Spending... £400 a month on food? That needs to come down! If you only work part time you have plenty of time to cook from scratch and keeping an eye out for bargains.
It may take you 18 years (doubt it'll take THAT long) but you have to realise that getting out of debt won't be an over night event... I doubt it has been for any of us I'm down to my last £10k (not including the carfinance as it's in positive equity and it works in my head...) - it's been a long slug but feels GREAT