Help me please - I want to DO THIS this time and save my sanity

HateMyself_2

Thank You - I have done that

GrannyKnits_2

Hi, My first post so forgive errors!:o
I felt so much empathy with your message. This was me back in March.
After burying my head in the sand for months and months I plucked up enough courage to ring (not enough to visit!) our local CAB. I explained the situation, how things had built up, got into a vicious circle and so on. Luckily she was very sympathetic and said I qualified to see their newly funded Debt counsellor. This was the best thing I have ever done. He spent so much time sorting things out and giving me options,after I had stopped crying with the shame and shock of finally admitting it to someone). I wished I had faced up to it months ago, and it was free (just a donation of anything - if you could afford it).
What I wish I had also had at the time was support from this great family. I've spent days reading but your post finally made me 'come out of the closet' and post.
Keep strong, there is always a way to go, sometimes it just takes time to find the right track. Will be thinking of you, Hope this helps.
Granny:grouphug:

pounds_and_pensive

About the smoking thing - I know how you feel there because I'm the last of 'the unclean' in my circle of friends too. Maybe we can support each other on here when we're ready to admit to ourselves that rolling a bundle of leaves into a piece of paper and sticking it into our gobs and setting light to it probably isn't the wisest use of money

HateMyself_2

GrannyKnits - you have started the tears flowing again, thankyou for your good wishes and advice about CAB

Pounds and Pensive, yes, when Im on top of this maybe I will be ready to tackle it and an online support would be fab. I just dont feel strong enough to try right now.

jobbingmusician

The main thing you seem to be considering atm is whether to consolidate using your mortgage or use CCCS/PayPlan etc to sort yourself out. Here's my 2p's worth (and I am very lucky in that I have not had to use CCCS or anyone myself, so bear in mind this is advice from someone who hasn't walked the walk.)

In your specific situation I can see the logic of what you are thinking about - that you're only 25, this one action would sort you out and avoid a poor credit rating etc.

However, I think I would be too annoyed to be able to do this if I did the sums. I suggest you use a snowball calculator to work out what re-mortgaging will cost you over the next 25 years. As I understand it, if you do go to CCCS and take the 4-year option, CCCS will work with your creditors to try to persuade them to freeze the interest on repayments. So you may have to pay less than your calculcations so far indicate.

Seems pretty clear to me that you should at least go further down the CCCS route so that you've got as much information as possible to help you make this decision.

I also think if you take the mortgage option, you will feel rotten about it in 4 years' time.... (But I reiterate that I think you've thought it through well, and you have a stronger case than most!)

And can I just say that I do believe you'll feel an awful lot better if you can share things with hubby - there are lots and lots of posts in this forum which work through how people have found the strength to do this which might help you.

I do hope this helps!

JM x

HateMyself_2

The amount of TIMES I have spent hours in front of snowball whooping for joy at how much I could save JUST before I rang bank about additional lending on mortgage.

I then spend the next few hours/days saying to myself, wow I can do this. I would have kicked myself if I had consolidated when I can do it all alone.

The something happens

Im not sure what - denial? confusion?

Things slip back, I allow the minimum payments to come out of the account and never make extra payments on the highest APR one and then start spending any extra money I happen to have.

I just want it to STOP my head is spinning with it STOPPPPP

I have Martins book, have done that at least 3 times

I have a few Alvin books

Have spent HOURS on here gleaning information to help me

AND I STILL DONT DO IT

see what i mean about how bloody useless i am

hence the self loathing

sorry that was a rant

I just wish somebody would swoop down and give me detailed instruction.

Frugal_Fox

HI HM,

Firstly - You have come to the right place for help and support - I was in your position last year. It was awful. By using the threads here and with the support of everyone YOU can make serious inroads with your debt, and retain your Sanity!

I'm not sure how CCCS might affect your credit rating - the best thing to do would be to call them, talk things through and see what they say - they know what they are saying!

Best of luck for now and the future and keep posting.

FF
x

Decadent_Fool

Hey, don't worry about despairing; we all despair now and again, and that's why we have friends to help us out

Wanted to say as well, if you pile this on mortgage, then you've taken an easy way out; what is there to stop you doing it again ?

I'm not being unsympathetic, but just thinking of the future

all_hours

Your Income Amount
Your take home pay £500
Your partner's take home pay £1,750
Child Benefit £126
Child Support £174
Total income £2,550


Mortgage £563
Service charge/ground rent £2
Water £24
Council tax £101
Gas £40
Electricity £40
Telephone, mobile & internet £50
TV licence £11
Satellite £21
Childcare £112
Hire purchase £50 5 months left
Car spares and servicing £20
Road tax £17
Motor insurance £75
Fuel & parking £180
Food, toiletries, cleaning £300
School meals/meals at work £55
Pets, pet food/insurance £20
Tobacco £50
School trips/activities £10
Medicines/prescriptions £10
Dentist/opticians £14
Hairdressing £16
Clothing & footwear £53
Newspapers/magazines £10
Sports, hobbies, entertainment £20
Children's pocket money £20
Sundries/emergencies £20
Total expenses £1,904


Total income £2,550
Total expenses £1,904
Surplus (Deficit) £646

Debts
Alliance and Leicester Personal Loan
£11,500 £239 Joint
Alliance and Leicester Overdraft £800 £40 Joint
Barclaycard Credit Card £350 £8 My Partner
Barclays Overdraft £1,600 £80 My Partner
Egg Credit Card £5,938 £154 Me
egg money card Credit Card £2,162 £48 Me
HSBC Credit Card £416 £15 Me
HSBC Overdraft £90 £5 Me
MBNA Credit Card £4,948 £30 My Partner
Next Catalogue £350 £35 Me
Smile Overdraft £500 £25 Me
TOTAL £28,654 TOTAL £679

HateMyself,

This isn't as bad as it looks. You will be able to deal with this without ruining your credit score.

As another poster says - you only have a £33 deficit and your SOA includes an allowance for everything. You could make up that £33 by only cutting back on the food bill - this is quite high especially as there is a £55 allowance for school lunches and meals at work. I suspect you save this amount just with switching to more shops own brands and some value/basic products. If you also cooked from scratch you would be able to shave even more off this - then you'd be ahead.

Then if you can reduce the bills for mobile, electricity, gas just by £10 each - this will give you a little more to play with.

How old are the kids? You can buy a freeview box for £20 - kids programmes include cbeebies, cbbc and citv. Film four is now on freeview and there are 3 extra itv channels and 2 extra bbc channels - plus sky news and bbc 24 news.

Add the APRs and credit limits for the cards, loans and overdrafts. Then we can see if you have any room to move the debts around to keep the interest down.

Emmzi

HM,

you know what you want to do, and why. You are well read and informed.

But there's something that keeps you spending. You need to work out what this is before you can move forward.

Think about the last few splurges you had. What triggered them? (With me it was always feeling a bit fat and/or useless about something!)

Can you keep a spending diary and record not only WHAT you spent but WHY - why did you feel you needed/ deserved things?

Might help you move into action mode.